To think it can be easier to be the parent of numerous children than one?

[Bumpitybumper]

I am still in baby/toddler stage with my two so I am genuinely asking out of interest as I don't have enough direct experience to form a proper opinion, but am I right in thinking that sometimes it can be easier to have more than one DC? My assumption is mainly based on the belief that they will be less dependent on adults to provide the companionship and entertainment they need as their siblings could be their playmate. Obviously where the DC don't get on this is a bit of a non starter but if the DC do get on well do you think it actually requires less effort to raise more than one child overall?

Depends. I know someone with 3 kids who has them in childcare until 5 (including holidays), and then the kids roam around the neighbourhood, being watched by whichever neighbour happens to be outside.
I have another friend with three kids who are in a couple of different extracurriculars each, whose evenings and weekends are completely full.
So I guess it’s your choice of what you make of it.
To answer your second question, I didn’t find it particularly easier with my second when allowing her more independence - as they are almost always together anyway, so it’s hard to have just the youngest do something unsupervised. In most cases.

I have no idea, all I know that most of friends with two or more and especially those with three (I only know one person with 4 children and she is the most calm women I know, I include my childless friends) are quite harassed, busy, tired and stressed much of the time. I find one child to be super easy, traveland holidays are a breeze. If there is one downside to one child it is that they usually want us to play with her, whereas I see my friends' with more than one child play together. I imagine everyone has a different experience though.

I have twins. I can only assume one would have been a fuck load easier.

Hmm.
My oldest was an only child for 7 years and he was pretty easy.
Having the 2nd took some getting used to (throw a step child into the mix also) but I wouldn't say it's easier in either situation now I have 2 at home.

I often wonder if I should've had more though as it's a lot easier when I have a house full with my best friends kids here during the holidays and the 5 of them happily all leave me alone, only speaking to me when food is needed 😂

Oh, and I was an only child, and I hated it then, and now I'm older I still wish I had a sibling.

I only have one so I guess I don't have both sides but I'd say my life is a lot simpler than my mum friends with two or more. DD 4 is happy to tag along with me to whatever I'm doing, she's comfortable around other adults and easy to feed, take to the toilet etc. We rarely have drama these days as long as I remember snacks and a drink.

I am very aware my parenting demands are low key compared to others even when I hear "Muuuuuuumma" for the fiftieth time in an hour, she won't decide on one of the tea options I've given her and demands I play weird imaginary games with her that I don't understand

It's easier sometimes, because they play together, which is lovely. It's a lot more difficult logistically and I spend my life driving round dropping them to various activities. That part would definitely be easier with one. As Occam said, I think it does cancel out.

Sparkle I hated it also.
That's why I had many dc!!

As long as they're relatively close together age wise (within 3 yrs) come age of 4+ they keep each other company and I'm sure it's easier raising them over an only child.

That said, I can definitely see the plus sides to having one too

I notice the difference when one dd isn’t around, and I’m left with the other dd. It’s loads easier. Though they’re great friends to each other as they’re close in age, yes they do fight, but are so different in other ways. They like different things, and sometimes there is conflict.
One dd went to Brownie camp the other stayed with us. It was so much easier 🤷🏼‍♀️

This is really good to hear. I’m expecting ds2 and will have an 18 month age gap. I’m under no illusions 2 under 2 will be easy but I’m glad to hear people’s stories about them entertaining each other as they get older.

DD 4 is happy to tag along with me to whatever I'm doing, she's comfortable around other adults and easy to feed, take to the toilet etc. We rarely have drama these days as long as I remember snacks and a drink

Both my 4 and 3 year olds are like this too. Both adaptable, comfortable in all sorts of company, no drama... and they play together . Guess it’s a personality thing.

I have a 10 year old and a 12 year old. Ime it's much easier because, once youngest was 2, they had a lot in common, they played together a lot, they are both interested in tedious computer games so I dont have to be. They also give each other moral support in social situations (holiday clubs etc), when they were younger i could tell them to stick together in public loos, send them to the shops or school together etc etc. Balanced against that is facilitating 2 lots of friendships, two lots of hobbies, cost of two etc but on the whole I do find it easier.

I wouldn't say more children is easier than one at all. Yes they might play for a bit in the day but you will be too busy clearing up the mess, doing extra washing, ironing, extra bed stripping, driving to different activities, playdates, hosting extra playdates, double homework supervision, putting more than one child to bed at night to enjoy the time they spend playing. And that's before you start breaking up any arguments and playing referee or making sure each child gets 1 on 1 time with a parent.

I have 4dc aged 13,7,4 and 3.
Yes they always have someone to play with and have lots of fun together.
However when you consider the amount of homework, washing, ferrying around,the emotional demands, the amount of school stuff I have to attend, the amount I have to remember, the organising, the sorting out arguments, the amount of tidying up, drying of hair..... the list goes on.
It is not easier.

X post with wellhellothere!

We went on holiday when DS1 was 18 months old and seeing siblings playing together on the beach was one of the things that persuaded me to try for baby number 2!

We visited cousin with three when they were all under 5 and that is what made us stick with 1 lol!

Also my twins are almost 2 and completely bloody ignore each other unless stealing a bottle or food, so not yet seeing any benefit to having more than one 😂

I have 2 dd with a 2 year age gap, 4 and 6. Playing together is great, but there is bickering and when they are tired they wind each other up! So they need a lot of monitoring especially after school when I'm trying to cook dinner. I find it twice as much work as one, personally, and obviously twice the cost and time to give them one to one attention. The great benefit is their relationship with each other and of course we wanted 2dc so wouldn't change it.

Agree with wellhellothere!

@100kindsofwonderful
It's funny you write that as it has made me realise that my assumption about numerous DC being easier than a single was based on watching my niece who is an only child grow up. She is someone that requires almost constant parental input even now that she is almost a teen, it honestly just looks utterly exhausting! I have often thought that another sibling could have at least taken the edge of her need for adult attention and to be honest at the very least taught her that the world doesn't revolve entirely around her. I think maybe she is of the personality type that would be difficult anyway irrespective of siblings, although I do maintain a younger brother or sister could have helped the situation.

No! I know so many with just one and it looks so much easier. No bickering, no different tastes or needs to accommodate, fewer chores, fewer years at each stage, less expensive. I'm thrilled with my very different children, but easier than one? No way!

Bumpitybumper What a shame for the younger “carer” sibling though.