To think it can be easier to be the parent of numerous children than one?

[Bumpitybumper]

I am still in baby/toddler stage with my two so I am genuinely asking out of interest as I don't have enough direct experience to form a proper opinion, but am I right in thinking that sometimes it can be easier to have more than one DC? My assumption is mainly based on the belief that they will be less dependent on adults to provide the companionship and entertainment they need as their siblings could be their playmate. Obviously where the DC don't get on this is a bit of a non starter but if the DC do get on well do you think it actually requires less effort to raise more than one child overall?

Bumpitybumper

2 and a half years between eldest (boy) and twin boy/girl.

I have an only despite lots of pressure from family to have another. The overriding reason was so my DD would have a playmate. I have a younger brother and we NEVER played together, we hated each other. We had to be threatened not to argue when we went anywhere as the arguments often got physical and even now we aren't that close. I don't feel my DD misses out on anything she has friends and cousins to play with but gets lots of 1:1 time with us and can do activities I couldn't afford with 2. Have children if you want them but don't expect them to play together and be best friends. There is a good chance they won't.

namechange Multiple homework is a huge deal. We stepped in at Easter to help my sister’s children complete their projects. I doubt her and BIL would have got them done as well alone

I thought in general children were supposed to complete their own homework projects (with a bit of support if needed)? What’s the point otherwise?

Starting secondary school was def not so much of a deal as an older sibling was already there!!
Same as starting school at 4, likely one already there!!
Makes parent /teacher relationships a bit easier too!!

I've got two (just turned 3 and 16 months) and find I get quite bored and stuck for entertainment when I just have one of them. Now the younger one can walk they sort of potter about together and he is certainly entertained by his older brother. The three year old just likes having somebody to endlessly waffle on to, so the younger one fits the bill.

On the flip side, meal times and bedtime are stressful and getting out and about is much more work than if we only had one. Ours are still young so come with a lot of stuff.

@mistermagpie
A lot of your post chimes with my experience. I suppose the practical things like bedtimes should get easier as they become older and the companionship element could improve as the youngest develops more language. Seems based on the majority of posts that this might be a bit optimistic though...

SoyDora They can’t actually drive themselves to the natural history museum etc. Lol!

We had 6. Parenthood is never easy. We had a noisy ball and ours got on and now they all grown to and get on great. That suited us.

Our oldest has one child who is happy contented and lovely.

It depends on your family circs. Neither easier or harder just different I think.

Only if the children are left to their own devices and /or the older ones responsible for looking after them or supervising outside etc.

I don't know. I have 3 and although they fight they also always have someone to play with which I find makes it easier. Some of my friends who have only children find it hard to entertain their dcs.

I think it’s unfair on children to expect them to be one anothers best friends to be honest.

I think it's probably just different stressors really.

I do find it quite draining when my only wants my attention all the time because he's bored, he's much easier when he has a friend over even when I do have to break up fights or mediate.

I have noticed with friends who have more than one child they seem less inclined to cater towards things like fussy eating because there just isn't the practical means to do so. Whereas I get quite stressed when I make food and DS won't eat it. If it was one of three or so who wasn't eating then I'd be inclined to be less sympathetic and say OK go hungry. I have heard that it can be easier to enforce rules as well because obviously when one does well or badly, the others can also learn from what happens to that one which can encourage/discourage. Whereas when it's one child you don't have that kind of influence, you have to punish/reward/encourage every single thing directly. As a teacher crowd control is usually easier with a small group than one on one, I don't know why. I think because you can simply ignore/withdraw attention from the ones who aren't following the crowd which is usually sufficient to make them follow along with the others, which you can't do with one child alone because there's no example for them to follow.

OTOH - one child to cajole into bed, clothes, baths, shoes etc is exhausting enough! I expect there's much more washing, cleaning, cooking, homework etc with more than one. You have to deal with fighting. There's a lot of flexibility with one whereas I get the impression you need to be more organised with more simply because everything takes longer and requires more planning.

I suspect all other things considered the ease or not of parenting is down to the personalities of the children and not the number thereof.

Only if the children are left to their own devices and /or the older ones responsible for looking after them or supervising outside etc

Not at all. My oldest is 4 so has never been left to her own devices or had to supervise the youngest. They do play together and interact really really well though, so it’s still easier and more pleasant.

They give each other company but that also can lead to endless bickering... I don’t think it’s easier at all. Whenever I just have one DC for the day (which is rare) I feel like I’ve struck gold .

Not today it isn't

I agree OP, and I have 3.

This place never fails to amaze me. No, it’s not easier the more DC you have!

I have one DC and I never look at families with 2 or more and think it looks easier. I take my hat off to them.

DS is a really easy kid though. Plays out a lot and when he is in mainly does his own thing. He isn't demanding, but is good company when we spend time together. He's well behaved, naturally quiet and relatively tidy, which I appreciate is just luck.

We can do whatever extra-curricular activities he wants because I don't have to worry about clashes, days out can be pitched at just his age and interests. It makes family life pretty easy.

@RainbowBriteRules
Why does it amaze you? Are you suggesting those people that think it's easier with numerous children are wrong even though they are speaking from experience?

I’m suggesting that although a few people might find it easier, in general from experience (I have 2 DC and quite a few friends with 3) the more children, the more work. More fighting, more mess, less money, bedtimes when younger can be horrific. Physically more hands to hold, more food to make, more nappies to change.

When they are playing nicely together it’s easy. But I would say 75% of my parenting ‘work’ is breaking up bickering and fighting and my kids get on fairly well!

RainbowBriteRules the OP asked a question, some said it was easier, some said it wasn’t. Not sure what’s so amazing about that!

Yes I apologise, I shouldn’t have been rude.