Skip to main content
Skip to main navigation
Skip to talk navigation

Active discussions

Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Saved Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

Flip

1 2 3 4 5 6 ··· 15 16

AIBU?

Naked MIL

386 replies

Wrongintherightway · 29/07/2018 23:51

MIL had ds1 & ds2 for a few hours recently to help out with childcare in school holidays (not a regular arrangement). Ds1 came home and said gran was walking round naked! It turns out she had gone for a mid morning shower and was walking about naked (indoors obvs)

AIBU to think this is not acceptable, ds1 is 12 and ds2 is 7?

OP posts:

Report

SoapOnARoap · 30/07/2018 09:03

There are some things a 12 year old could never unsee.

9amTrain · 30/07/2018 09:04

It's not appropriate at all.

Wrongintherightway · 30/07/2018 09:05

To clarify I've never seen MIL naked and she's not had had kids during school holidays before as usually we take them round for visits, helping us with childcare is a new thing.

I thought it was an odd thing to do and just wanted to gage other mums opinions before I have a quiet word with her as don't want to be over sensitive or cause a family row!

OP posts:

Strawberry2017 · 30/07/2018 09:06

It's not appropriate, YANBU

GreatDuckCookery6211 · 30/07/2018 09:09

Did she wander around naked when DH was little OP?

misspops · 30/07/2018 09:12

The title of this thread made me splutter my tea. Sorry OP.
But YANBU because she shouldn't really be trotting about with her bits on show in front of your kids.

Wrongintherightway · 30/07/2018 09:13

DH said would sometimes see her naked when he was little but not exhibitionist type,

It's different seeing your parents naked to seeing your grandparent....

OP posts:

LoveInTokyo · 30/07/2018 09:13

If your MIL is providing you with free childcare in her own home then you should probably be mindful of that.

I grew up with both my mum and my gran walking around in the buff and it did gross me out a bit, but they can do what they like in their own house as long as it isn't harming anyone.

Allthewaves · 30/07/2018 09:13

It's not a big deal. Just ask dp to asks his mum to.to stick clothes on as ds was a bit embarrassed

Itsnotabingthingisit · 30/07/2018 09:14

This is very weird behaviour..why did she feel the need to have a shower whilst she was looking after your kids?

If something happened ( medically? accident?) that meant she needed a shower, does she not own a dressing gown and a towel to cover up with and save your kids from awkwardness and embarrassment?.

Totally echo the comments of if it was grandpa with granddaughters there would be ' call 101' , go NC ' type posts.

You need to find out exactly what happened here, and make sure there were a set of circumstances that means this was a complete one off . If she did just choose to go for a shower and not cover up, then another conversation needs to be had about boundaries and behaviour in front of your kids.

DontCallMeCharlotte · 30/07/2018 09:17

I first read it that the children were aged 1 and 2. Perhaps the first few posters didn't read to the end and thought that as well?

But in answer to the actual question, YANBU and I'd get your DH to have a little word.

GreatDuckCookery6211 · 30/07/2018 09:20

Sounds like it's just something she's always done in her own home.

Talk to her and explain the dc were really embarrassed. I'm sure she will understand.

bringincrazyback · 30/07/2018 09:21

YANBU, it's inappropriate. The kids are old enough to understand that nudity is normally something people keep private, and old enough to be embarrassed.

WaxOnFeckOff · 30/07/2018 09:22

I'm not against nudity per se, but what is important here is how the DC felt about it and I don't think they were comfortable and I don't think it's appropriate for her to make that choice for them at their ages.

BertrandRussell · 30/07/2018 09:24

OP- just sat something along the lines of my earlier suggestion and move on.

Myimaginarycathasfleas · 30/07/2018 09:32

Hmm, if it’s not a regular occurrence I would leave it. Kids weren’t traumatised, just a bit embarrassed as you might expect for their ages. I get your discomfort but she seems to have a healthy attitude to nudity which might actually be a good example for your DS (once he gets over the experience!).

WaxOnFeckOff · 30/07/2018 09:55

You could passive-aggressively buy her a bathrobe. :o

PomegranateBun · 30/07/2018 10:01

Was it a quick flit between bedroom and bathroom? If they live alone I bet they do this all the time (we do) and she forgot they were there

I've done this before. My daughter and her partner were staying over (obvs not kids, both in their late 20s) and in my hurry to get showered and dressed I completely forgot they were there - went downstairs to make a swift cuppa and walked in on them munching toast.
I don't know who was more surprised. Fortunately her partner had his back to me so no harm done to my dignity. Just saying. . . . it's easy done.

chickedychicked · 30/07/2018 10:08

All the posters saying 'well I don't have any hang ups about nudity at all. Good for you!
obviously op doesn't like it and some of us would find it inappropriate.
I'm sure no kid really wants to see their grandmother naked, how awkward.
I think you should tour DH to have a word

Occamsrazorblade · 30/07/2018 10:16

I actually think buying a robe is a good idea. She may not have one and if she’s going to be looking after the children and shower while they are there (there may be a good reason why she has to shower straight away) it would be s thoughtful gift.

For those that think it is ok for her to walk around naked in front of her grandchildren (even though the 12 year old obviously thought it was inappropriate) at what age, if any, do you think she should stop?

My FIL used to share a bed with MIL and DN (niece) when she stayed. There was no need for it (other rooms) and the extended family (including her other gps) thought this was inappropriate when she got into double figures, except SIL and the PILs and DN who had never known anything different. When she came to stay with us she thought she would be sharing a bed with us, her uncle and aunt.

You have to be aware of social norms whether you agree with them or not. Compared to the average person her age (now a teenager) DN is very naive and has been taken advantage of.

BertrandRussell · 30/07/2018 10:20

"For those that think it is ok for her to walk around naked in front of her grandchildren"
I don't think anyone thinks it's OK for her to "walk around naked" in front of her grandsons.

Occamsrazorblade · 30/07/2018 10:24

Bertrand The OP says “Ds1 came home and said gran was walking round naked“ and the first three posters at least said there was no problem, nothing wrong with it.

Don’t want to miss threads like this?

Weekly

Sign up to our weekly round up and get all the best threads sent straight to your inbox!

Email address

Log in to update your newsletter preferences.

You've subscribed!

GreatDuckCookery6211 · 30/07/2018 10:26

The OP doesn't need to buy a bloody robe! MIL probably has one. She just needs to talk to her like a grown up person.

WaxOnFeckOff · 30/07/2018 10:35

My robe suggestion was a joke but my grin emoji didn't work on my phone.

BertrandRussell · 30/07/2018 10:36

I think most rational people would assume that "walking around" meant, as it later transpired, walking between her bedroom and the bathroom. Not wandering around the kitchen making dinner while twirling her nipple tassels.

Flip

1 2 3 4 5 6 ··· 15 16

Please create an account

To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.