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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Naked MIL

386 replies

Wrongintherightway · 29/07/2018 23:51

MIL had ds1 & ds2 for a few hours recently to help out with childcare in school holidays (not a regular arrangement). Ds1 came home and said gran was walking round naked! It turns out she had gone for a mid morning shower and was walking about naked (indoors obvs)

AIBU to think this is not acceptable, ds1 is 12 and ds2 is 7?

OP posts:
Bluntness100 · 30/07/2018 11:23

This has gone very odd.

His grandmother will be in a different demographic to women he may or may not see in porn. It is unlikely a 12 year old will link his granny to porn images.

Honestly, that's weird as fuck, even when he becomes sexually active it's unlikely to be with women his granny's age.

SchadenfreudePersonified · 30/07/2018 11:45

This is horribly embarrassing for your DS.

Your MIL may be comfortable with nudity (and there's nothing wrong with a naked body and it is very beautiful and we shouldn't have hang-ups about the human fanny or scrotum or whatever is applicable yada yada yada) but your son has not been brought up in a household of naked adults and his personal boundaries are different - he is also at an age where he is easily embarrassed, his own body is changing and dangerously out of control (how would he feel if he got a stiffy over his GRANDMA FFS?) and it is just bloody embarrassing for him!

If she can't respect HIS boundaries and feelings, don't make him stay with her.

SchadenfreudePersonified · 30/07/2018 11:47

Thank God you feel this way Daisy - I sometimes think it's only me!

Some people seem to have no personal boundaries whatsoever, and absolutely no consideration for the feelings of others.

Bluntness100 · 30/07/2018 11:49

Well I think an individual naked body being beautiful is subjective to be honest, but agree it's an excellent way to put it, the grandmother should respect the child's boundaries. It's not hard to shove a robe on and very few 12 or 7 year olds really wish to see their granny naked.

Hell, I'm 49 and when mine were alive I didn't particularly want to see them naked, never mind my grandfathers,

daisyinatree · 30/07/2018 11:56

@SchadenfreudePersonified

Definitely not just you. No-one I know would think it's normal for a granny to walk around naked in front of a 12 y.o. boy. It's just weird.

But on the parallel universe of mumsnet, there are posters just DESPERATE to tell everyone how it's perfectly normal and not at all weird. Confused

No-one in the real world thinks a granny showing off her tits and fanny in front of her 12 y.o. grandson is normal or right, (even for 10 seconds while she walks across the landing.) Everyone in real life thinks it's bizarre, and the woman probably needs a serious talking to.

Anyone who thinks it's normal ALSO needs a serious talking to.

Xenia · 30/07/2018 12:00

It is not correct that no one in the real world thinks that. Nudists think it's fine. Lots of families who swim naked in rivers think it's fine. However I certainly respect other culture's views on these things - my sons often have friends here who are crom cultures where women cover up and women's bodies are to be hidden away under all kinds of long clothing and I would never do anything other than put on a dressing gown before speaking to them and would usually be dressed.

BertrandRussell · 30/07/2018 12:02

“No-one I know would think it's normal for a granny to walk around naked in front of a 12 y.o. boy. It's just weird.”

Neither does anyone else on this thread.

Occamsrazorblade · 30/07/2018 12:03

Are they lying when they say it’s ok then? Why? Confused

starfishmummy · 30/07/2018 12:14

I suspect that this is what she'd normally do. And she probably thought that the kids would stay in the living room/kitchen/garden or wherever it was when she left them.

I'd just tell the kids that if they go again and gran goes for a shower that they're to stay put until she reappears hopefully fully dressed

Bluntness100 · 30/07/2018 12:16

It's always the same on these threads.

My neighbour stands naked in front of his window,,,just don't look it's his right to do that in his own home
My neighbour is shagging in front of their window, again just don't look, they are perfectly entitled
My mother In law is naked in front of my 12 year old son , that's fine, at least he can compare her to porn images of younger women. 12 year old lads should be fine with seeing their grannies minge, it's beautiful.

It's quite mind boggling.

pieceofpurplesky · 30/07/2018 12:20

It's very odd but give her the benefit of the doubt once that it is nothing sinister and make light of it 'oh mil DS was mortified - did you forget he was here?' style.
My DS was mortified when he walked in on my dad who was stark bollock naked. (Dad was in his own bedroom and ds should have knocked). My dad couldn't help but laugh at Ds's face. Ds could only comment in his shock that he thought as grandad was bald he would be bald down there too!
The image will probably stay with your ds forever!

BertrandRussell · 30/07/2018 12:23

“Are they lying when they say it’s ok then? Why?“

They aren’t saying that “walking about” in front of them is OK. They are saying that her going from bathroom to bedroom and them accidentally seeing her is no big deal but that it’s easy ( via the form of words I helpfully provided) to make sure it doesn’t happen again.

BertrandRussell · 30/07/2018 12:25

And using words like “sinister” is just bloody ridiculous.

RoseWhiteTips · 30/07/2018 12:26

That’s weird, OP. The 12 year old must be feeling omg

Echobelly · 30/07/2018 12:29

It's slightly embarrassing for you and the kids maybe, but it's not awful. Kind of expect my kids have seen my mum and dad in the altogether when staying there as my parents are fairly casual about it in the mornings!

RoseWhiteTips · 30/07/2018 12:33

People who wander about like that are indescribably icky.

BertrandRussell · 30/07/2018 12:34

Passive aggressive, neglectful, possibly a paedophile, suffering memory loss, an exhibitionist, absolutely nuts, sinister and icky.

Occamsrazorblade · 30/07/2018 12:37

Whether granny walks from bed to bathroom naked or in the kitchen naked, the boys should not be subjected to it.

Seasawride · 30/07/2018 12:43

So wierd

WaxOnFeckOff · 30/07/2018 12:57

Bertrand haven't you missed drunk?

unicornchaser · 30/07/2018 13:09

Not read the full thread yet, but Oh god that is soo wrong!

I remember seeing Mum naked when I was a kid and it traumatised me enough never mind it being my grandparent.
No need to be naked when others are in your house, doesn't take even 2 minutes to wrap a towel round you to go from bathroom to bedroom.

I would tell her that ds found it uncomfortable to avoid it happening again or she will do it again at some point!

BertrandRussell · 30/07/2018 13:38

“Bertrand haven't you missed drunk?”

Did someone say drunk?Grin I must have missed it!

GladAllOver · 30/07/2018 13:48

I can understand that if the children are not used to seeing naked bodies, then this sudden exposure would be embarrassing.

Many families however, ours included, are used to seeing bodies in their natural state and would not be in the least surprised or embarrassed.

It's just what they are used to.

WaxOnFeckOff · 30/07/2018 13:50

Oh I am sure someone said drunk but I think it was in jest to add to your list. Unless of course I was drunk/deluded etc when I thought I saw it...

BertrandRussell · 30/07/2018 14:04

Ah, I won’t add it then. I’m only using genuine insanities.