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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Naked MIL

386 replies

Wrongintherightway · 29/07/2018 23:51

MIL had ds1 & ds2 for a few hours recently to help out with childcare in school holidays (not a regular arrangement). Ds1 came home and said gran was walking round naked! It turns out she had gone for a mid morning shower and was walking about naked (indoors obvs)

AIBU to think this is not acceptable, ds1 is 12 and ds2 is 7?

OP posts:
nellieellie · 30/07/2018 08:04

I think the thing is, this is totally fine if both DCs have been brought up with nudity not being a problem and naked adults walking round the house. There is nothing wrong with being naked, of course not. But it IS unreasonable if the two DCs are NOT used to it. Then it could be enormously embarrassing for them, especially at the age of 12, when they become quite self conscious of their own bodies.
I would feel awkward mentioning it though as the MIL is entitled to do what she wants in her own house. BUT, I think I would, in a tactful way.

Laiste · 30/07/2018 08:09

wandering round between bedroom, bathroom and back to her bedroom, it's a bungalow so she knew kids were in full view

Not flitting anywhere. Kids could see her.

I don't think it's right. Would she do this in front of all her house guests? Or just one's who happen to be related to her?

BertrandRussell · 30/07/2018 08:14

Just use something like the form of words I suggested earlier.

And it might be a good idea if people stopped the veiled suggestions of paedophilia too.

Tinkobell · 30/07/2018 08:20

It's not too nice is it. Kids do have very visual minds ..,..you might want to let her know that you do know about it, that kids tongues wag, and if that's what she wants her grandkids enduring memory to be of her, then fine.

SaucyJack · 30/07/2018 08:21

You say she doesn't babysit that often for you. Was she willing to do it this time?

It reads to me like she's making some PA dig about carrying on with her "busy" day in her own home. Most normal GPs try to make their GC feel comfortable and welcome when they come to visit.

Piffle11 · 30/07/2018 08:25

I think it's a bit weird. If my DS saw MIL naked, he'd be so embarrassed he'd never want to see her again! Although I'm more hmm about the fact your MIL decided to pop off for a shower when she's supposed to be looking after your DC: I know a 12 yr old and a 7 year old are capable of monitoring themselves for a while, but surely she could have showered either before they arrived or after they left?

Tinkobell · 30/07/2018 08:25

Can your OH explain his mums behaviour? Was this the norm as he was growing up? Once imprinted on a kids mind, it's really hard to erase that image.

BertrandRussell · 30/07/2018 08:26

So she's now passive aggressive, neglectful and a possible paedophile. I'd go NC, OP.

Kilpitlees · 30/07/2018 08:30

Did she really need to shower when she was only looking after them for a few hours? I would have thought that as she would prefer to spend time with them, especially as she does not provide regular childcare. I think it is a bit weird TBH. My 12 year old ds would hate it and we are quite a naked household.

Pengggwn · 30/07/2018 08:31

I wouldn't like this at all.

NynaeveSedai · 30/07/2018 08:32

My kid would be utterly mortified if he saw either of his grandparents (or parents) walking around naked. Weird thing to do.

Tinkobell · 30/07/2018 08:35

Is this a bullshitting troll post? I am finding it extraordinary that you raise kids for 12 years and then your MIL with no history of stripping off just presents herself starkers to her grandkids?!!! explain it OP or it's just crap.

Beingthere · 30/07/2018 08:39

For those that are saying she may have forgotten they were there, if her memory is that bad she should not be looking after children.

sonjadog · 30/07/2018 08:44

Wouldn't bother me at all. But we don't have hang ups about nudity here.

EnthusiasmIsDisturbed · 30/07/2018 08:45

While I don’t think it’s awful I think it depends on the relationship she has with her grandchildren

If they had stayed there often and nudity was the norm fine but as they don’t and if more than just a nip from the bathroom to bedroom yes would find it odd

My mum before she put on a lot of weight could be at times quite the exhibitionist she did this when I had friends round I was about 13 at the time. Some people especially if they are proud of their body do like to show it off

BertrandRussell · 30/07/2018 08:45

OK. Passive aggressive, neglectful, a possible paedophile and suffering memory loss. Any more for any more? Grin

diddl · 30/07/2018 08:47

I think if she was wandering between bedroo & bathroom that's not so odd.

Where were the kids-how could they see?

rainforesttreeswinging · 30/07/2018 08:50

Totally weird and this would have definitely freaked my kids out completely and permanently damaged their view of gp.

Dp needs to talk to his dm about boundaries and respect.

GreatDuckCookery6211 · 30/07/2018 08:51

This isn't something I would do but some people aren't bothered by bring naked and don't see it as inappropriate in any way.

Ask DH if she did this when he a child.

Just say what BertrandRussell suggested earlier.

GreatDuckCookery6211 · 30/07/2018 08:51

Being not bring

magimedi · 30/07/2018 08:52

Grin @Bertrand

Have only skimmed the thread but can't we add in alcoholic for good measure? Grin

Bluelady · 30/07/2018 08:53

I wasn't suggesting memory loss ffs, just absent mindedly doing what she always does. It's all a bit of a storm in a rea cup anyway. If nothing worse ever happens to the kids, they'll have nothing to complain about.

GreatDuckCookery6211 · 30/07/2018 08:56

Those posters who are outraged, apart from it being embarrassing for the dc, especially the 12 year old, what else do you think is going on here?

I'm baffled at some of the reactions.

PositivelyPERF · 30/07/2018 08:59

locochat Naughty! 🤨. But very, very funny. 🤣

BertrandRussell · 30/07/2018 09:01

"Totally weird and this would have definitely freaked my kids out completely and permanently damaged their view of gp."
What, an accidental glimpse of a naked grandmother between bathroom and bedroom? Seriously?