Have name changed for this as it could be a bit outing in combination with my other posts.
Met new partner (well I’ve known them on/off for decades but we reconnected) last year. Everything was lovely, lots of nice dates on nights when DD was at her dads. He is very kind and treats me very well. Bit of a whirlwind romance. He met DD after about 6 months.
However, before we got together he was about to leave the country for work (self employed so not necessary but I think he had become bored of our town). After we met, he made the decision to stay. He had given up his rented flat and was staying with friends short term until he left. Obviously he didn’t leave so couldn’t stay with friends indefinitely and began spending more and more time at mine.
Then he started bringing some of his stuff out of storage and bringing it to mine. Before I knew it he was in my house all the time and more and more stuff kept appearing. I must say before anyone pulls the cocklodger card that he contributes by buying most of the food for the house and paying for us to go on quite an expensive holiday that I would never have been going on otherwise as I just don’t have that sort of money. He has also offered money to help with bills but despite struggling I don’t want to take it (for reasons given below).
I’m finding this really hard. I was single for 2 years before this and really enjoyed my own space and I am finding it really suffocating. Not helped by the fact that he works from ‘home’ and is always in my house!
He hasn’t really done anything wrong and is a very kind and gentle man and I do care about him a great deal. However I really didn’t sign up to live with anyone and I want my own space back. How do I tell him that he needs to find somewhere else to live without hurting his feelings and making him think I want to end the relationship? Holiday is next week but I really can’t keep this in anymore as my sanity is suffering! He is going through a bit of a dry patch with work as well at the mo so he’s a bit down about that and also doesn’t really have the cash to find another flat... which makes me feel even more guilty.
Please be gentle with me as I already feel like I’m being a heartless bitch!