My fault?

[hfuiweo]

This stroy is going to sound ridiculous but here goes...

We were supposed to be meeting DP's parents for coffee today at a garden centre. I said I was going to eat lunch before we went, but DP said no don't, we will get food there. I said the place doesn't have much choice, but he insisted they did and told me not to faff around cooking/making food.

We got there and the menu was quite limited, with only one veggie option for a meal (I'm a veggie). I said I would find something, I'd have a sandwich or chips. DP made a huge scene in front of his parents, saying he could tell I was annoyed at the limited food options, and knew I would moan about it when we got home. I said I wouldn't (the truth), and I'd find something there as there were cakes, sandwiches etc. He started getting even more angry, and said I was only saying this to be polite in front of his parents, and then said we should go to a pub nearby.

He got his way, and we all drove 3 miles to the pub but when we got there it was fully booked. It was pouring with rain, and his parents decided to go home. It was really embarrassing, and I kept telling them I didn't mind eating at the garden centre, I would have eaten something!

When me and DP were in the car he got very cross with me, and said I should have been honest at the garden centre and said I didn't like any of the food. I said I would have settled for something and that's behind honest, but he said I'm a picky eater and why am I so difficult. This is just a mind fcuk for me, as I said I wouldn't mind staying in the original place, it was him kicking up a fuss!

I'm now worried his parents think I'm a difficult mare, but I was trying not to be difficult :S I think I'm just asking for opinions on this, as I am just baffled

Dh sounds like a tantruming bully

You said:

Also, if being sensible diet wise, its ok to have that as a meal instead of in addition to one. Or have something smaller & have cake for dessert.

As OP didn't say anything about a sensible diet, it really does sound like you were policing.

I wasn't talking about the OP I was talking about eating cake for lunch and the acceptability of it

Where did I say 'OP, you should have had cake & coffee for your lunch, but only that as you should be sensible about it'?

And there's a big fat IF on the front of that sentence.

He sounds domineering and aggressive. Who is he to tell you when to eat?

What was his parents' reaction to this childish display of temper? Did they tell him to stop being so ridiculous? Or did they collude with him blaming you for a problem he created?

The question you should ask yourself is why it escalated to the point you had to drive in the rain to a pub just because he was in a rant. What would have happened (or what did you worry would happen) if you had just said "Oh don't be so absurd DH, I'll be perfectly fine with the soup/sandwich/whatever" and casually flagged down a waiter? If the answer isn't "he subsides, albeit grumpily" then he is not a normal human being frankly.

I really don't think OP's too worried about it ....there was one only very short update regarding future choice of venue.

Eliza, you think the OP is passive aggressive because her DP assured her there would be loads of options for her at the cafe, and she noted there was only one veggie meal option.

You think that even though her DP was in the wrong, OP was wrong to have even expected to have any other options because it's a café.

In this context, your post about cake and coffee being perfectly acceptable and a much more sensible option sounds very much like food policing.

Declaring there is only one veggie option when there's sandwiches, cakes, whatever else is passive aggressive. In op's post above she listed loads of options.

And tbh I'd only expect sandwiches or omelettes or tea/coffee & cake etc in a garden centre anyway. It's not a restaurant, it's a café.

And? Your point is?

My point was that there was more than one option. Which there was and the OP herself said there was. So she didn't have only one option to choose from.

Nothing more to discuss really, is there. She had a choice of items, end of my point.

Yes, she did have a choice of options. Something which it appears her DP didn't want to accept, for whatever reason.

He's the one who knew this out of proportion.

He massively over reacted and sounds like a bellend.... but if you were happy to eat a sandwich / soup / cake, i'm slightly bemused by why you brought it up either?

Why not just say "oh ok" and order what you can eat?

Really all seems a massive drama over nothing.

Brokenwing to be honest, you are not coming across well.

I was simply replying to posters who had mentioned me directly and clarifying what parts of the ops posts I was taking about that had formed my opinion rather that making things up as they had implied. but it appears I am not allowed to do that while you are allowed to compare me to a dog

And I have said more than once that her dh is an arse and have never excused his behaviour.

I think the OP's hiding from MN now, thinking they're bloody arguing about it as well now .

If this is just one incident, I'd just assume he was hangry so an apology would sort it. If this is habitual, run for the hills as he's either a moaner and nothing, including you, will ever be good enough or he's an arsehole and he's trying to gring you down, either way you'd be better off on your own.