To be dreading going to USA?

[AllisonAndColeAreBoring]

Going on USA road trip in 4 weeks.

I'm dreading it for two reasons - 1. I'm mixed race and have found out a lot of the places we're stopping off at are racist. Arizona especially. DH has booked us into a saloon motel thing in Death Valley and a few of the reviews state that it's popular with bikers and truckers and don't even consider staying there if you're not white, heterosexual American as you will stand out like a sore thumb and will not be welcome! Another place is flagstaff where the reviews state its a trump supporters haven and people of colour will stand out.

1. The driving. I'm not a confident driver but will need to share the driving out there. DH has set me up on GTA5 to practice driving on the right side of road and junctions etc but a game cannot be compared to real life can it?!

He thinks I'm purposely trying to cause drama and moaning about the hotel's to get my way on expensive accommodation and moaning about the driving so I don't have to do any.

Are my fears founded or am I indeed being a princess like he's making out?

Tell your husband this and see if it's not too late to change the bookings for you to stop off and stay in more multi cultural areas of USA...

Driving is fine. Have you got a sat nav? I'd recommend getting one as this will help with lane management and reminding you which side you should be on!
The only thing I don't like is 4 way stops - it's worth reading about these.

Practice your Downton abbey voice - they love the English - you'll be forgiven anything with an English accent

I'm sorry this doesn't really help the holiday question - but did you not discuss it with him beforehand? Was he aware of your worries but still went ahead and booked a driving holiday through areas you regard as racist?

I can't comment on the US as the states you mention don't appeal to me (due to what I've heard only, not experienced) so have never been there. Asia every time for us as it's more open and relaxed.

YANBU.

I'm white and wouldn't go there is you paid me. I'm also gay so just....No.

Have you considered Canada? It's absolutely beautiful and the people are wonderful.

Remember steering wheel towards the centre of the road gets you through most confusion.
Flagstaff is beautiful and people do not stand out irrespective of colour or nationality.
Most racism in the US is hidden (sadly it still exists) and tourists are generally unaffected. Only when I lived in a southern hotspot of racism did it start to affect me - I was given a free pass of ignorance for the first 6 months.
Sat nav can be bought in advance or bought when you get there, generally for less than the cost of renting one from rental agency - check for the nearest Target or Walmart store.
a few of the reviews state that it's popular with bikers and truckers and don't even consider staying there if you're not white, heterosexual American as you will stand out like a sore thumb and will not be welcome! I would love a link to that review as I doubt its authenticity on the reviewer's part or think exaggeration here.

Try a stay in Bisbee, which is supposed to be a liberal enclave. Lots of mining history. There might even be a saloon to stay in! You can find some lovely artistic towns all over the American southwest; just do your homework.

Don't worry about the driving - it's very easy and you'll pick it up in minutes.

The racism thing is shocking if true. I am white so can't really comment, but we have a holiday place in THE most republican of areas and I can't say I have ever heard any racist comments about black people (but many about Hispanics, sadly) and they certainly do not stand out.

Have you seen this article? www.theguardian.com/world/2018/feb/11/green-book-facebook-black-motorists-racist-america-road-trip-pitstops-safe

They don't seem to have an actual Facebook group, but there are evidently some social media resources for and by African Americans that could help with this.

I have also been to Flagstaff many times and can't agree that black/mixed race people stand out - I think this is bullshit.

Arizona is full of mixed race people (25% are non-white).

You won't stand out there.
Flagstaff implies visit to GC: The national parks are always heaving with foreigners; you might be lucky to meet an actual American tourist there.
tbh, everywhere in USA is full of mixed race people, nowadays.
Even Joe Arpaio is the son of immigrants(!)
The driving is pretty easy, huge straight roads.

One of my besties from high school is a gay guy living proudly for decades with husband in AZ. My alt-right politics cousin who lives in AZ trailer ... 2 (3?) of her kids are mixed white-Mexican. Even the far right nutters aren't pure 'American' any more.

Interesting that AZ has 2 of the Republican Senators most opposed to Trump. Read Half-Broke Horses if you want to grasp the Arizona psyche.

I’m American. Arizona is a very Republican state, but touristy areas will be full of diversity. Being British, you’ll get a very positive reception. The media is presenting a very negative portrayal of America at the minute, which is largely justified, but the truth is that most people are really friendly and welcoming. My dad is a Trump voter (we try not to talk about it), but he would be warm and chatty to anyone visiting and does not align with Trump’s views on a number of matters.

In terms of driving, you’ll be absolutely fine. The roads are massive and you’ll acclimatise really quickly. My husband, who is English, now loves driving when we go back. Drive on the right side, obey the lights, remember that it’s legal to turn right on red, and watch out for pedestrians.

We went to US earlier this year. I stayed in Flagstaff for one night, and it seemed very ordinary and mixed. We did stop off for lunch in one town, can't remember the name now, and that was definitely strange. Very much a local diner for local people place and I couldn't wait to get out, and I am white...

I was looking a going to Death Valley next year, and have been looking at hotels in the area and a couple have got bad reviews. Have you looked at Stovepipe Wells in DV?

We went from East to West coast, the popular tourist route, and I just remember that it was very busy. I really enjoyed the holiday, although it was partly a coach trip. I have booked flights and car to go a different part in September, and will be driving then. Having been there once now, I feel confident about driving, the roads are definitely quieter than here.

I do hope you have good trip should you decide to still go.

I'm sorry about the reviews you've read. If you're going in August you will find yourself in the company of lots of other tourists - so I certainly wouldn't worry about places like Flagstaff.

As for the others - if it's worrying you just change the bookings. There are tons of motels and hotels to choose from. I took my kids on a California/Arizona road trip last year and we really didn't spend much time with other hotel guests - we just used the pool and slept in our rooms mainly. We went out for dinner. But really if you've booked online you can usually cancel and rearrange at no extra cost.

Driving in the US is very easy. I just use my google maps app on my phone and it's easy. People drive sensibly, a bit slower than UK motorways and it's very safe and easy - I find it less hassley than driving here. Just make sure you re-fuel regularly - the distances are just that bit greater.

Flagstaff is fine, honestly. Put on your best British accent and they will love you. When we were last there, most of the racist language and behaviour was aimed at Mexicans. I pointed out that we too were foreigners taking advantage of the US healthcare system (DH was taken seriously ill out there) and they just gaped like goldfish. One of the medical staff then explained that we spoke the same language, they loved our accent and we weren't trying to take their jobs. I just shrugged and decided it wasn't worth arguing about until DH was better.

Driving is fine, honestly. When DH was suddenly taken ill, I had to drive a 25 foot motor van 250 miles with my 8 year old reading out directions. It was the largest thing I had ever driven and although I had driven a car out there, this was completely different. Roads are wider, people drive slower over there (max speed is 55mph) and cars are all automatic. Enjoy your visit!

I did a 2000 mile road trip in the southern states of the US a year after I passed my test with no driving experience in between (couldn't afford to a car and associated costs, no need to have one while living and working in a city centre) and lived to tell the tale. In hindsight it might have been an idea to have a couple of pass plus lessons and a bit of focus on manoeuvres before I went, so if you can do that it wouldn't be wasted, I think.

I was not very confident with multi lane freeways especially when everyone was doing 20 miles over the limit and I was scared of getting caught if I did the same. On top of this, someone's van spun out and drove into the side of us on the freeway just outside a major city but it was all fine, we pulled over, filed a police report, got a replacement hire car in the city, insurance covered it and we carried on. Having our documents organised and right at hand was very helpful here.

Signage at intersections etc is mostly good and I didn't mind driving in towns because you get a pause at red lights to have a deep breath and work out what you're doing next.

However, I would be take seriously any reviews you might find of unwelcoming hotels etc. I don't think people make this stuff up for review clicks. Travel blogs by people of colour in the US/visiting the US might be something you can look out for some more info? I've lived in the US and it's very culturally different to here, there are lots of things even in a left wing middle class bubble I heard people saying over there that wouldn't be tolerated for a second here.

Having said all that, I hope you have a brilliant time, an American road trip is my favourite kind of holiday.

Honestly I'm at this post.

Have you been getting all your info on America from 1990s episodes of Roseanne? What makes you think the USA is more racist than say Poland or Lithuania (was there in 2015 and did not see one person of colour my entire stay) or even parts of the UK?

I think this road trip will do you the world of good. Not only Americans have narrow, xenophobic mindsets clearl.

As a tourist you will be fine. I have relatives there who are originally from trumps 'nono list' countries and they have been all fine (even the ones living in AFN).

Driving in the USA is a doddle compared with UK and most of Europe, so don't worry about that.

The underlying racism is another matter. It does exist. My only advice would be to ignore the ignorant ones (hopefully you won't meet any anyway), hold your head up high and have a great holiday.

I can't comment on the racism as I'm white. Do take heed of reviews though... I had a slightly different problem when I arrived in Arizona. Had booked a motel for the night - arrived late after a very long journey... Drove into the car park and drove straight back out again. It was essentially a gangland brothel and made no secret of it. Stank to high heaven of weed, all the room doors were wide open, loads of people lingering outside looking shady, music blaring out, pyjama clad women giving "massages" on the beds... I dread to think how many guns there were within reach. There's no way I was gonna hop out with my giant wheeled suitcase 😂

When I got home the reviews confirmed it was indeed a weed and prostitute ridden dump. I'm not normally so slack with my research.

The rest of the trip was fine, however.

I’m not sure why you agreed to a driving holiday if you’re not a confident driver?

Racism is always a valid concern in the US. From experiences of friends it’s quite pot luck. You’re totally entitled to avoid accomodation where reviews flag racism.

Does DH have form for minimising/not understanding racial issues generally? What race is he?

When we were last there, most of the racist language and behaviour was aimed at Mexicans

No doubt that will cheer the OP up.

Please stop worrying OP. As a tourist - and a GB one at that - you will be welcome. Driving is a pleasure - honestly. Roads are wide, cars are few, speeds are slow, parking is easy - you have nothing to worry about, seriously.

Arizona is a fabulous place to visit. If you're staying in Flagstaff you must try to go to Meteor Crater - it's amazing. Joshua Tree National Park if you have the time and opportunity, plus Death Valley and the GC too.

I'm very envious. Chill and just enjoy!

Oh and driving will be fine. You adjust fairly quickly. Just make sure you have decent satnav.

Sounds like my idea of hell- sorry I wouldn't go.

I would stay at a nice resort for a week while he gets the route 66 drama out of himself.

Driving is a pleasure - honestly.

No it isn't.

I am not a nervous driver and I have driven several times in the USA, driving is a means to get you somewhere that is too far to walk.

And that's it for me.