To be dreading going to USA?

[AllisonAndColeAreBoring]

Going on USA road trip in 4 weeks.

I'm dreading it for two reasons - 1. I'm mixed race and have found out a lot of the places we're stopping off at are racist. Arizona especially. DH has booked us into a saloon motel thing in Death Valley and a few of the reviews state that it's popular with bikers and truckers and don't even consider staying there if you're not white, heterosexual American as you will stand out like a sore thumb and will not be welcome! Another place is flagstaff where the reviews state its a trump supporters haven and people of colour will stand out.

1. The driving. I'm not a confident driver but will need to share the driving out there. DH has set me up on GTA5 to practice driving on the right side of road and junctions etc but a game cannot be compared to real life can it?!

He thinks I'm purposely trying to cause drama and moaning about the hotel's to get my way on expensive accommodation and moaning about the driving so I don't have to do any.

Are my fears founded or am I indeed being a princess like he's making out?

Flagstaff is 1 hr 41 mins south of the Grand Canyon which I’m sure you’ll want to visit -and will be full of tourists.

remember that it’s legal to turn right on red
This varies by state. Not sure about AZ but it’s illegal in NY

Right turn on red is legal in all 50 states EXCEPT where there is a sign that says "No Turn On Red"

Being white I won't presume to comment about the racist aspects as by definition I won't have experience things in same way as you do op.

But agree with others, having travelled widely in the states, I've generally speaking found people to be polite and welcoming.

And driving in the Dates is utterly fab! It is my all time favourite place to drive! The pace is slow and other drivers are generally respectful.

Hope you enjoy the trip!

Sorry, awful typos in my post!

The only people qualified to offer advice about how racism will affect the OP, are POC.

A large number of non-whites in an area does not mean the white people aren't racist.
A lack of observance of overtly racist actions, doesn't mean covert racist actions don't happen. You might not get called names, but you might be served slower, that kind of thing.

An American friend who is black travelled to Sedona AZ for work recently and she said it was one of the most uncomfortable trips she's had. As a tourist, you may well be protected somewhat and I doubt you'll suffer physical intimidation but YANBU for being concerned. I wouldn't be chuffed at my DH for dismissing my concerns though.

I hope you have a safe trip and a happy trip and your concerns come to nothing.

Try to relax and enjoy it - there is a lot of enjoyment to be had if you'll let it happen!

So what’s your racial background?

I'm white
I have been racially abused in the USA
I did not appreciate being called a "little white bitch"
while crossing a street in a major city one morning
"white kids steal, keep an eye on them" really upset my kids.
the USA is horribly racist. Most of the groups seem to dislike each other

except that Reginald D Hunter on TV last night found hispanics very friendly

Try to relax and enjoy it - there is a lot of enjoyment to be had if you'll let it happen!

So what’s your racial background?

Does it matter?
If you have an opinion, give it. My background won't change that.

Try to relax and enjoy it - there is a lot of enjoyment to be had if you'll let it happen!
YYY to this

The USA has jaw droppingly stunning scenery
many absolutely lovely people
some pretty good food

focus on the good stuff

Ta1kinpeace I'm white - I have been racially abused in the USA

Ah, yes, the old worn-out "it happens to white people too!" excuse for reductive denialism that the racism people of color experience is as bad as they make out.
Have you considered that your one off instance of bigotry might be just that, a rare one off, rare enough for you that it still sticks in your mind as exceptional?
That it is not in any way comparable to the the day in day fucking out 24/7 experience of people of color who could quite justifiably counter with a story of that one day when they didn't encounter some twat being offensive to them?

Look OP, I'm not saying you won't meet racists or suffer instances of microaggressions and worse on your holiday here, I'm just saying it's no likely to be any more than you probably have to put up with every day at home. Classic exemplar right above.

Elemental
Not a one off. Happened several times in several cities. Different races.
Point is that the USA has a massive problem with race of every variety.
And yes, WASPs like me are at the very top of the heap kicking downwards, I know that.

But the OP needs to focus on the positives during her vacation.

I’ve only been to the US twice, one of those times I was shouted at in a NYC bar to ‘fuck off back home you English scum’. The bloke was very drunk though. To preempt anyone asking what I did... I ordered drinks at the bar, with an English accent.

So while I can’t comment on racism (I’m white) I’m not convinced all Americans welcome tourists.

is arizona a "must" the grand canyon is glorious .saloon and old west themed inns in remote areas are a bit strange.
why not new mexico?,sana fe in particular.it is one of the most amazing places.1st city occupied by europeans but a city since. long before.
the srchitecture is storybook quality.museums,local indians have an open market in town square,great food and live music and depending on your financial situation b&bs and hotels that are world class.
tourists are a year round thing,from all over the world.and the weather is always a bit cooler there due to the altitude.you will be in the base of the rockie mountains.
here is a decent article but i would do it in reverse go to GC first then to santa fe.its about 700 miles.but you will go theu high desert,foothills,extinct volcano craters,mountains
in particular my fav are the sangre de cristo range,see pic.this was my view daily living in santa fe.there are also small towns and villages/cerrillos/madrid.that are more or less art/tourist colonies.much of longmire and breaking bad were filmed here.
and if you do go to santa fe do not miss the chapel at loretto.
outside of town there is a large "flea market" with all sorts of local made and grown delights at good prices.theres an opera house.
enjoy just use sense.my family is assortment of mixed races and we do fine.its to diverse to be an issue there.and yes like all places there are parts of town you wouldn't want to go.but you would have to be really lost to get there.
www.visittheusa.com/experience/classic-southwest-road-trip-santa-fe-grand-canyon

It's the size of Europe, it has the same diversity too.
We can go across Europe and find religious, racial and sexual diversity and prejudice.
Want to find prejudice? you'll find it. It may even find you.
Want to find amazing diversity, landscapes and friendliness? - that's there too.

I don't want people to define the UK by its negative aspects - we have far more positive ones.
I afford the USA the same courtesy.

ps santa fe will also give your dh plenty of cowboy/old west flavor to absorb

The food is amazing in Santa Fe too. If you visit, going out for breakfast seemed to be a big thing there!

ohh i miss my green chile..yes santa fe is great from simple foods to michelin rated places.land of enchantment has many choices.
if you are driving thru the desert south west,please remember to have water on board,a few gallons.and top up the gas tank whenever you can.there are some long stretches of road.

Another place is flagstaff where the reviews state its a trump supporters haven

It's really not - someone's been talking bollocks. It's a university town and, like most university towns, left-leaning (by US standards). Here's the Flagstaff bit of the New York Times 2016 election voting map - Flagstaff voted Clinton by a big margin (blue is the Democratic Party colour, and the darker the blue, the larger the Democrat majority).

Driving is easy - remember you will be driving an automatic; roundabouts are almost non-existent; the general standard of driving can be low so you won't feel like you stick out as the "never done this before" driver; and even parking is simpler (slanted spaces to drive in, reverse out). Unless you are considering rush hour in a big East Coast city, it honestly won't be a problem. Put down GTA and forget about it until you are out there

It sounds like you're getting yourself worked up over what will likely be much ado about nothing.

You don't know the reviewers personally so no idea what they're actually like or if their negative experiences were actually motivated by race.

I'm from the US, never heard of Arizona being particularly racist.

I'm from the US, never heard of Arizona being particularly racist.
The Sacha Baron Cohen programme this week may not have helped
but by golly it was funny

Yeah, I'm US born and I think that posters telling the OP to 'relax' etc are probably white. Will you encounter problems in the US on account of your race? Who's to say?

I do understand why you're concerned and I would take those hotel reviews seriously.

It's not even just a question of who is in office; I'd be saying the same thing when BO was president. You're talking about a country where there are still 'black neighbourhoods.' I can remember when I'd lived here for several years and I was on the overground to Canary Wharf, with another American. "We're the only white people on this train!" I hadn't noticed. And then I started to wonder at what point in living here it was no longer something I would notice. It's very, very easy as a white person to say you are not racist and other whites aren't racist. I didn't think I was, even at the times in my life when I would have noticed, like my American relative, that I was the only white person on the train.

I imagine that is the scariest part of trying to assess risk when you are thinking of travelling some place and you are a POC, you are likely to have to take advice from people who aren't.

You will probably have a totally uneventful trip (and by the way, I do agree the driving is easier than the UK. But I would say that, as I learned there! ). But if you can find out more about where you're staying, I would do that, even if only for peace of mind.

Father's map looks like the NYT one I've seen recently. I also find it odd that Flagstaff was singled out in that way. But it's been years and years since I've been there.

There are lots of predominantly black or Asian parts of the UK, and some you might want to avoid at night, but there's just as many white neighbourhoods you'd want to avoid too.

This isn't an American issue, it's a general issue. But it's massively exaggerating the problem for a tourist. Acknowledging an issue is one thing, but for it to ruin tourism is another.

The USA has a gun culture. You are extremely unlikely to be shot though. It would be crazy to not visit the USA from a fear of being shot.

I'm a little perplexed as to why you agreed to this holiday to begin with OP?