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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Neighbour does not like the look of my garden - threatening to sue

566 replies

craxmum · 29/07/2018 10:03

A new neighbour has moved in last month (we are sharing a wall in a semi-detached property). She seems to have a major issue with the way my garden looks (just paid me a visit at 7am on Sunday to inform me that she hasn't slept properly since she had a party last night and her guests were apparently "aghast"). First thing she did after moving in was decking and astroturfing her back garden fence to fence (the bits that weren't already covered in concrete).

She did mention it a couple of times before, but I never thought it bothers her that much. Now she made a vague threat of suing me for damage to her assets, as apparently her house value and enjoyment of her property is impacted. I mean, she bought it a couple of weeks ago (at the normal market value as far as I can see from the open sources), surely she made the decision with full awareness of what my garden looks like? She added a couple of personal insults (about me being foreign etc) as well.

My garden is a bit informal allotment style. We grow berries, tomatoes, courgettes, peppers, beans, herbs - stuff like that, also have a couple of dwarf fruit trees. Sunflowers all over the place at the moment. I have two small children (3 and 5), they absolutely love it and they have their own little experimentation areas. There is a bit of lawn, but with two dogs it is not in great shape - trimmed, but with some bald patches. There is an occasional weed or two, or maybe ten. Plenty of butterflies and bees. A composter (of a posh type, fully closed and maintained, not leftovers rotting in a bin). There is a water butt and sometimes watering cans / other gardening equipment lying around. I mean, it is by no means perfect, and can sometimes be messy and looks quite rustic, but I absolutely cannot see what I can do to comfort her apart from ripping all vegetation out and paving over.
AIBU?

OP posts:
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PickAChew · 29/07/2018 15:40

Your garden is the sort of garden I wish i6had the energy to maintain.

As laughable as her comments about the garden are, I agree that you need to keep a diary because she sounds genuinely unhinged and this will not be the last or the most unpleasant encounter you have with her. She's clearly laid awake obsessing unhealthily then seen fit to come and confront you and dish out racist abuse, all over your garden being a garden.

Girliefriendlikesflowers · 29/07/2018 15:42

Your garden sounds very like mine, it's a small new build garden but I've squeezed loads in!! Likewise my ndn has gone for decking and AstroTurf, however my ndn isn't batshit crazy and wouldn't dare tell me any nonsense about my garden! !

HeebieJeebies456 · 29/07/2018 15:49

where does she think the supermarket tomatoes are grown?

Ta1kinpeace · 29/07/2018 16:03

heebie
www.thanetearth.com/
So English it has a pun in the name Grin

ToadsforJustice · 29/07/2018 16:19

There is nothing quite like the smell and taste of a sun warmed tomato.

UnderMajorDomoMinor · 29/07/2018 16:26

Don’t give that bonkers woman your raspberries. Sent them to MEEEEEE!

TSSDNCOP · 29/07/2018 16:33

7am and racist comments?

She wouldn’t have made it back down the fucking path.

recklessruby · 29/07/2018 16:34

She's bonkers OP! Your garden sounds lovely and a haven for nature. Hers sounds dull as ditchwater the product of no imagination.
Stuff her. As for banging at your door at 7 am on a Sunday that's unhinged and harassing behaviour. Can't sleep after a party for worrying? Must have been a crap party then Grin

mydogisthebest · 29/07/2018 16:56

Your garden is lovely and your neighbour is crazy.

I honestly could not care less what my neighbours' gardens look like. I have lived in places where a few neighbours have had gardens overgrown with weeds and/or having old cars and things in looking a bit like a rubbish tip.

It never crossed my mind to say anything to any of them about it.

TheGr3atEscapez · 29/07/2018 17:32

Your property, your garden, none of her business - just ignore. Enjoy your garden, your veg, your fruit, your flowers, your bugs, bees, insects, birds, an Eden

BMW6 · 29/07/2018 18:23

Having read your updates I am convinced that she has a mh issue, genuinely. I' d keep my distance from her if I were you for your own protection.

Hygge · 29/07/2018 18:49

I'm a bit gutted now about good raspberries being wasted on the neighbour. I love homegrown raspberries. Sad

Can you not take her something else? Rocks? Random snails? Fruit the birds have already pecked at?

mumsastudent · 29/07/2018 19:12

Oh & something else you can do - you need a bucket with a lid some pulled up stinging nettles. Place nettles in water & leave - and leave- and let them ferment to make beautiful liquid manure for your plants & if lid is left open a most wonderous stink...very organic & natural...especially useful when neighbour comes out into garden...place lid back on when she isn't!

TheABC · 29/07/2018 19:27

I truly hope it is just post party drunkenness and nerves, but your neighbor does sound bonkers.

Stand your ground, OP. And if you really want to upset her, add windchimes!

Theweasleytwins · 29/07/2018 19:49

My 86 year old grandad still has a fruit and veg patch😊fond memories of stealing all his strawberries when I was little

Imo the only acceptable action to reply with - we don't do that in this country - is queue jumping

ForalltheSaints · 29/07/2018 19:53

Lovely garden you have by the sounds of it.

Of course as the OPs next door neighbour most likely is a rabid right winger judging by the racist comments, they probably want no deal with the EU over Brexit. So your garden is preparation for a no-deal exit from the EU- surely she should support it?

WeeM · 29/07/2018 19:56

My garden is more like hers but I wish it was more like yours...I just kill everything I plant!

Ginny008 · 29/07/2018 20:01

Ooh what a lovely friendly garden - wish mine was the same!
Flowers

TooManyPaws · 29/07/2018 20:16

"we don't do this in Britain in case if you did not know".

Bollocks to that. It looks like my English grandfather's big 1930s-built garden, complete with kitchen garden bigger than the lawn, fruit trees and bushes. I have happy memories of picking peas and blackberries with my grandmother.

Grilledaubergines · 29/07/2018 20:24

Encourage her to sue you and be happy in the knowledge that a solicitor will laugh their head off. Or even better she issues the proceedings in person and a district judge throws the proceedings out on account of her wasting court time.

If you had a boundary full of Leyllandi blocking out her light, I could see her point, as people have been successful in bringing action against neighbours for overgrown Leyllandi. But this, this is bonkers.

eggncress · 29/07/2018 20:26

Encourage her to take legal action so she wastes her money Grin

craxmum · 29/07/2018 20:28

I went and spoke to her about the morning / garden / etc. Without any details, I think everyone who suggested mental health issues were right, also probably accompanied by some sort of substance abuse / addiction (which is weird, as she looks very polished and well adjusted).

OP posts:
Grilledaubergines · 29/07/2018 20:33

craxmum don’t fall for the well adjusted and polished appearance. All sorts goes on behind closed doors, including coke habits behind the doors of respectable appearing people.

Just ignore her. If she starts to become an issue and is harassing you then that’s when you take it up a gear and contact the police.

Lana1234 · 29/07/2018 20:40

Aw your garden sounds like what my nans garden used to be like! It was absolutely one of my fave things from childhood playing in there for hours. Agree with all above saying to ignore her but keep a record of anymore interactions like this morning. Hope she gets fed up and leaves you alone OP Flowers

Pippylou · 29/07/2018 20:51

And you could always make jam with the raspberries. (-:

Brave. Stay safe now.

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