To think I'll never be slim... I cannot diet

[Takiwatanga]

I have tried it all. The only thing that kept me slim was starvation or cigs. Neither appeal to me now as a mother! I am just so upsry with myself and lack of self control. I cannot diet, i literally cave after a day or 2. I hate diets. I try to eat sensibly but struggle so much with moderation. I'm so depressed with feeling fat and having no self control. I'm not obese, but I'm porkeier than I have ever been and cannot see a way out. I just wish I could view food how normal folk do. Aibu to give up and simply be a chubster for life.?

I feel you. I slimmed down to an 8-10 once by eating minute portions and never ever having pasta or cheese, which I adore. I couldn’t keep it up. One rule I do have though is to never have chocolate, biscuits or a cake in the house. If I want to pick up a little bar of choc once a day then I might get one but having it all sitting there spells disaster for me. I have no self control. Also try reducing your portions a bit. It is really hard I agree.

Depends whether you'll honestly be able to stop worrying about your weight and just enjoy living. If not, I suggest trying counselling for your eating issues.

The ultimate aim is not to 'diet' but to eat in moderation, which is as simple, and as difficult as it can be! A diet suggests a time limited eating plan which ends at some point. If it does end, you'll gain all the weight you lost.

Could you try just leaving the last two mouthfulls at every meal? Then giving yourself smaller portions, then leaving 2 mouthfuls of that portion. Over a longish period.

I hear ya. In the overweight category (just) and 75% of my clothes don't fit. Zero willpower.

Someone gave my kids a bag of those Malteser buttons each earlier! So I had to check them for poison of course...! I just love food so goddamn much.

Godiva - so good to hear I am not alone, thank you.
I feel-that's a lovely idea, but would it really help any? I'm unsure I'd lose weight... I hate being chubby but hate not eating. 😫

Goddam-"Someone gave my kids a bag of those Malteser buttons each earlier! So I had to check them for poison of course...! I just love food so goddamn much." same. 😂

I say it on every thread like this - check your carbs/sugar intake. It makes us fat. I know you think it's just another fad thing, but a calorie is not a calorie, it really matters what calories you put in your body. Carbs will make you fat.

Check out what women are saying here and read the FAQs, or even google High Fat Low Carb diet and learn for yourself

www.reddit.com/r/xxketo/

Diets are generally unhelpful. I know it's harder mentally because it's more complex but it is physically easier to do, just try to eat a bit less and more healthily (more veg is always a good idea). Try to exercise too if you can at all find the time.

And remember you don't get fat from what you eat in one day so there's no need to obsess over it. Keep trying, don't let yourself see it as black and white failure or success. Treat each meal and each day as a new opportunity to make a choice you'll be happier with, and don't guilt yourself over the times you weren't happy because that's only going to make you less happy!

Don't think about being "slim" either, just focus on what's right in front of you and in your short term control: eat a bit less over the course of a month or so, lose a bit of weight over the course of that month or so. You don't have to have a big dramatic goal and a big dramatic diet, as you've found out, for most people including yourself it's counterproductive.

YANBU if you want to be the weight you are though. This is just advice for if you don't. If you would actually be happier not thinking about any of this, for now or forever, that's completely up to you.

(Carbs is a fad thing and if you've previously tried to lose weight by smoking and not eating you really don't need to get into bullshit like that. They're about due for a new fad so you'd just waste time learning all the new, scientific, set in stone, obvious rules that they're about to do a full 180 on.)

It's awful that so many people torture themselves like this, sometimes for decades.
As long as it's not seriously harming your health, just do what men do - don't give a shit. You may also find that you actually lose weight as you're not focusing on food all the time.

PS: I'm 20 pounds overweight and couldn't give a fig.

Dieting is hard.

I'm currently so skint I can't afford food. I'm properly hungry, ATM. Dieting is enforced hunger.

It's REALLY difficult to not eat when you're hungry but have food.

Thanks everyone.

Jen - I'm really sorry to read that. Feel even greedier now. I don't even know what to say. 😲

Rinabean, such wise words, thank you.

Disquited-i know... I can't imagine living this way for another 50 decades! Something Has to change, but I just can't seem to change either way.

You could try Slimming World? I have a massive appetite and while SW is quite limiting about the types of food you can eat (ie super tiny portions of cheese / bread / cereal / sugar / booze), you can eat unlimited quantities of rice, pasta, potatoes, lean meat, fruit & veg. Worked for me & my general greedy nature!

5:2 fasting? I'm crap at diets too, it's prettymuch fixed me in terms of food issues - I'm currently pg but when not, using it had me stabilised at a pretty happy weight, no obsessing or worrying that each choice had to be a 'good choice' etc etc.

Worth a look for you? It works for a lot of people, there's a very good and active section for it here, and a great 5:2 UK facebook group too. It's great for blood sugar and general health too.

Don’t diet if you hate them. It’s not sustainable so counter balance the calories you’re consuming by burning more through exercise.

I agree with Mooncup - after a lifetime of dieting (I am now 60 ) I have really adapted well to the Low Carb way of eating (have a look at the Boot Camp threads on Mumsnet) - it really works and you are eating lots of normal, but tasty, high fat food - cheese, cream, meat, eggs, avocados etc.

I have lost one and a half stones by following this in the last 10 weeks.

Give up carbs and go higher fat, you don’t feel full, so it’s far more sustainable than diets that you always feel hungry on, so you cheat.

Www.dietdoctor.com

I've done keto and lost weight, but then I just got sickened by the amount of fat I was eating. I also hated the restrictions and depriving myself... I have no discipline. Did 5 2 also, although a while ago... Worried it'll be too hard to maintain as I need energy with 2 young kdos and aa very active job. I never stop. I should be a size 8 haha.

I'm actually thinking of just smoking again, to lose the weight, then worry about keeping it off when I'm actually slim. 🙄🤔

I think you need to find your own real motivation to keep going and feel like it is worth it. What would being healthier and fitter mean that you could do that you would enjoy? For me it means that I can dance and walk longer distances without being out of breath. As I am stronger I can get out the spare bed by myself. What would be your motivation, what would result from you being fitter and healthier?

I’ve cut out dairy, wheat, meat and my fat is melting off. Sometimes I’ll have some fish

Alcohol had to go 😢

There is loads of stuff that is vegan (eg walkers crisps, ice cream, cereal, alpro milks) and it really helps at night time when I need something extra.

It’s not cheap and I spend a lot of time googling vegan and gluten free relies and mooching on the ‘free from’ isles but it’s working. I eat loads too.

It’s worth a shot. The hormones in dairy messes with you a lot

Takiwa concentrate on what Rena has said.
I'm a life long dieter too but have lost 4 stone by doing pretty much what Rena said.

My weight started coming off when I cut out all snacks and drinks but water and black coffee plus a low ish carb sugar free diet. And no alcohol. And breakfast no earlier than 10 and dinner no later than 6. Only 1-2 portions of fruit per day.
It's fairly easy on the days I exercise, but on the days I don't, I find it hard weirdly enough.

I've done keto and lost weight, but then I just got sickened by the amount of fat I was eating. I also hated the restrictions and depriving myself... I have no discipline. Did 5 2 also, although a while ago... Worried it'll be too hard to maintain as I need energy with 2 young kdos and aa very active job. I never stop.

Do you mean you couldn't face eating more fat because you were full? If so, that's the bloody point and don't eat - fast until you can eat some more.

If you mean you psychologically felt weird eating fat, then you've not understood it all properly

If you want more energy to run after your kids,a high level of carbs won't do it, but yeah smoking fags sounds like a winner

Couple of things I've heard over the years in therapy groups which have stuck with me:
If diets worked, they wouldn't be a multi billion dollar industry.
Slim people aren't the ones on diets.

Diets trap people because they set you up to fail. Either they deprive you of calories, they deprive you of nutrients or they deprive you of satiety/enjoyment. Sometimes all three! Your brain needs enough of those things and, if you aren't getting them, it will nag you into rebellion.

You don't need to diet. Especially if you only have 2-4 stone to lose. You need to start with tiny changes that you can get used to and build them up. Never dieting, just changing, substituting and adapting. Make sure most of your diet is healthy - but it doesn't all need to be.

I love this post:
It's awful that so many people torture themselves like this, sometimes for decades.
As long as it's not seriously harming your health, just do what men do - don't give a shit. You may also find that you actually lose weight as you're not focusing on food all the time.
PS: I'm 20 pounds overweight and couldn't give a fig

I want to have that mindset so badly. It's the right way to live life and view people and yourself, in my opinion.

I'm 20 pounds underweight and I hate my body and the way I feel about myself. I obsess about everything I eat and, while I wouldn't say anorexia has ruined my life (I have a good life in general!), it's certainly not something that has enhanced it. Caring about what I look like has been nothing but a negative. Care about health, for sure. But (within reason!) the size and shape of your body is not (or should not be!) important.

Don’t take up smoking again!! Just try to get out and exercise more and try for healthier choices. I have stopped making pastas etc because I will go back for seconds, then thirds. Foods like bread, pasta, cake, crisps, chocolate just make me stuff myself until I’m ready to burst!!! I honestly feel like I can’t stop!

So now I avoid having those foods at home and eat more protein and veggies and carbs like sweet potato. If I want to snack, I eat yoghurt and nuts and that way, I feel satisfied and don’t usually want more.

I have no idea how people can buy a packet of biscuits and only eat a couple a day! I inhale the whole packet in one go, so it’s best if I just don’t buy them...that’s the only willpower I have and it works for me!!

Don’t give up, you will get there, you just need to eat healthier foods that will make you feel satisfied and figure out what works best for you!

Good luck!!

For me, it’s the first three days of a diet that are the hardest, so if I want to lose weight, I just accept that I’m going to be miserable and pathetic for three days and plan for early nights and lots of distractions. After that, I get into it and am motivated by not wanting to undo the work I’ve already done.