To think I'll never be slim... I cannot diet

[Takiwatanga]

I have tried it all. The only thing that kept me slim was starvation or cigs. Neither appeal to me now as a mother! I am just so upsry with myself and lack of self control. I cannot diet, i literally cave after a day or 2. I hate diets. I try to eat sensibly but struggle so much with moderation. I'm so depressed with feeling fat and having no self control. I'm not obese, but I'm porkeier than I have ever been and cannot see a way out. I just wish I could view food how normal folk do. Aibu to give up and simply be a chubster for life.?

Chromium piccolinate helps curb sugar cravings. Though I’m thin, I recently started taking it as I’m prediabetic, and it has done wonders for making me feel pretty ambivalent about chocolate and crisps. I otherwise eat really healthily, but these were my absolute downfall.

Thanks everyone! I have decided to ditch the diets and start eating less crap and more healthier. I'm also going to read Paul McKenna and try a yoga DVD...

Please don't fall for the 'cut out all carbs/sugar' crap. All that will do is reduce the amount of calories you are eating, which is all you need to do to lose weight. Eat fewer calories than you burn and the weight will come off. For weight loss (not for health, ofc) you could eat a diet of pure carbs/sugar, fat or anything else, as long as you take in fewer than you burn. Join MFP, log your cals and eat in a calorie deficit. I'm nearly 6-stone down doing this, no fads or diet clubs. Best of luck.

I love cooking.
I love food.
But I love not having joint pain more.
So I actively stay slim - I happen to use 5:2 to do so.

But the tricks that EVERYBODY can use are
NO SNACKING - eat at meal times and never ever in between.
Portion control - eat whatever you like, but all of your food should fit on the flat part of a standard dinner plate, not up the sloping sides.
water - start every meal with a large glass of water or three, even if you are having wine as well.
stand up - make a point of doing stuff standing up (like MN posting) as standing burns lots more calories than sitting

Cutesy - that's all very well in theory, but a) eating all your calories in sugar and carbs would obviously be very bad for your health and b) lots of people find sugar and carbs addictive but not filling for very long, which isn't very helpful if you're trying to stop snacking or stick to a calorie limit.

Ta1kinpeace - those are very sensible rules! I find I tend to snack when I'm bored or procrastinating. Atm whenever I feel the desire to snack, I have a glass of water, and if that doesn't help, I give myself permission to go and do something else enjoyable for 5 or 10 mins instead (read a bit, go on MN, knit a few rows etc). I don't always choose to take myself up on the offer of the 5 mins break, but giving myself the choice kind of shakes me out of thinking I wanted a snack iyswim.

I can’t Diet either never have, I’ve put on 3 stone since kids and only really managed to shift 1.5 over the years and recently am the biggest I’ve been for a long time.

So, no diet I’m just cutting out cake, chocolate, crisps, takeaways and junk type foods. Unhealthy snacks. So trying my best to eat better and smaller portions and not beating myself up if I slip up on one day and I’m actually not so hungry, don’t crave junk at all and I was terrible for binge eating.

You just need to find what works and don’t label it.
I need to start exercising just not quite there yet but soon I hope

Hmm. I think some slim people just aren't that interested in food, some don't have very big appetites, some just managed to acquire healthy eating habits growing up, some do loads of exercise, some appear to just eat healthily naturally but actually work hard at it and some genuinely seem to have speedy metabolisms or great gut biomes and eat loads but don't put on weight easily.
But whatever the reason, it seems that getting overweight in the first place and then dieting sets many people up for a lifetime of unsuccessfully battling their weight. And that for many, if they had just thought age 20 "Oh I've put on a couple of pounds but never mind", rather than gone on a diet and started on the whole weightloss merry-go-round, they might still only be a couple of lb overweight 20 years later, instead of 3 stone overweight with a messed-up relationship with food!

@Takiwatanga I'd also recommend running. I'm on 2 medications that make people put on lots of weight , and I'm managing to avoid that through sensible eating and running. If I didn't do the running I'd definitely be a lot heavier. I run to eat and eat to run, so it makes me more mindful about what I'm putting in my body (most of the time) and I think it helps achieve a good balance. You definitely can't starve yourself if you run and most people need carbs as part of their diet in order to perform well as a runner- hooray! You apparently get keto people but I've never met any in real life and I strongly disagree with that way of eating, for health and for the environment/sustainability. I've met loads of vegan/veggie, carb loving runners though.

Amazing advice PostNot and huge congratulations on your weight loss. So impressive.

From reading this type of thread and from chatting about weight in RL, I get the impression that some people think that there is a special species of being that is A Slim Person, who doesn't like food, or puts up with being hungry a lot of the time, or denies themselves. The problem with that is that it suggests that anyone who isn't One Of Them can't possibly become slim.

This ^^ 100%

It's always trotted out on threads like this and it's so unhelpful to anyone trying to lose weight.

OP you have my sympathy. I have been overweight for years,but was finally goaded into action 2 months ago when I had a serious health scare. The health scare wasn't actually caused by my being overweight,but probably wasn't helped by it. And being weighed in the hospital was so embarrassing. . Believe me,I know all about having no will power. I just could not stick to a diet before caving in after about 2 or 3 days. It's also not helped by the fact that an existing health condition limits how much exercise I can do.
But this time I've tried a different approach. Rather than obsessively counting calories,I've decided to just concentrate on eating a better diet. I've cut out all sweet stuff,such as cakes,biscuits,sweets,the flapjacks that I was practically addicted to and restricted myself to no more than 2 (small) packets of crisps a day (crisps and savoury snacks are my downfall). I've upped my fruit and veg intake,and have just 2 meals a day. I estimate that my average calorie intake per day is between 1300 and 1700,so a total of about 10,500 per week. I know this is not a particularly low intake,but I had a hell of a lot to lose at the start (over 100 lbs) and compared to what I was eating before (around 3000 a day) it is a significant reduction.
I started on the 28th May,just after I was discharged from hospital,and to date have lost 1 and a half stone (21 lbs) which is not a colossal amount,but it's a step in the right direction. I'm prepared to stick at it for however long it takes to get into the approved BMI bracket for my height,and if I only lose a pound a week,that's fine. So OP,my advice is start off with small adjustments. And just keep making tweaks as you go along. Believe me,it does get easier. I found the first week hell,but it got more bearable after that. Best of luck. And never say never!

1lb a week is 4 stone in a year
and done by making minor changes in your habits it will only have to happen once
go for it

I'm slim and I've never been on a diet, restriction isn't effective long term.

jellomello
But what you do not realise is that your normal way of eating
is a diet for somebody who is severely overweight.
They will look at your normal lunch and think you are starving yourself

Thank you all for sharing your insight and experiences. I have found this thread so interesting and enlightening.

I was one of those slim people until I began starving myself, or having bouts of bulimia, then food became a massive issue for me. For years I simply smoked so food became a non issue. If I smoked I could be obsessed with that as opposed to food. For me my issue with food is much deeper than simple greed.

I should add I haven't starved or vomited for years now. However the unhealthy food habits have stayed and I am totally an emotional eater and definitely see my weight as a bug part of my self worth. For years I was always the skinny one, everyone complimented me on being so. Now I'm chubby and I've lost that respect, and therefor I've lost respect for myself. So sad, but true.

I’m trying to do small changes too, willpower is too rubbish for anything more. So far:

Go for a good walk most days
Don’t bother with crisps
No big bars or bags of chocolate and sweets
If I want chocolate, walk to the shop for one small bar only
It’s okav to be hungry between meals

It depends on your definition of 'slim'.

My body really wants to be a size 12, I can eat 3,000 calories a day and not exercise and maintain it. I think I look terrible as a size 12, I'm much happier being an 8; so, I eat far less than I'd like and I exercise every day for at least 45 min.

I don't know any women over 40 who maintain a size 8 or smaller by eating just what comes naturally to them.

I'm verging on a 14, I can look slim as a 10/12, an 8 on me makes me look really ill. I'm fairly tall though.

I was really worried about my long term health (late 40s) after getting high blood pressure last year and doctor suggesting I lost a bit of weight by taking stairs instead of lift and slightly smaller portions. I knew that would have zero effect, so did the 8 week blood sugar diet, lost 2 stone and sorted BP out. I don't know where I got the willpower from when no diet lasted more than 2 days in the past but I did it right through Christmas.

After many years of being sceptical of fad low carb diets I am now a convert to lower carb Mediterranean style and that's my permanent way of eating 80% of the time now. It's lovely, fresh food, no starving cravings for sweet stuff mid morning or mid afternoon. Honestly I'd never have thought a couple of scrambled eggs or plain yoghurt would keep me going till lunch but there it was. The difference between that and a toast breakfast was immediate. You don't need as much willpower becuase your system isn't crashing/ screaming for a sugar hit.

I believe it is about calories but the food type matters and to stick to a diet and lose weight you should indeed cut out a food group: "crap food" i.e. sugar and white carbs. The NHS pussyfooting around this is doing the country no favours.

Hi OP. I'm 5ft9, and slim (almost skinny), size 8-10 in clothes. The key IMO is not what you eat but HOW you eat.

I was a size 16 when I was in uni over 20 years ago and I absolutely hated it. I like food but preferred myself slim so I started intermittent fasting (like 5:2 diet). I figured if I ate much less one day, I could eat what I wanted the next.

I also started thinking about my actual body; about how our body processed what we feed it, does our body 'need' to be fed 3 times a day, everyday? Surely, you wouldn't water a plant if the soil was soggy, you wouldn't add more fuel to a tank if it was full.

The result of my eating pattern was that I physically became unable to eat as much on my normal eating days. Till now, if I eat a large meal, I'm simply unable to eat anything all day the next day except some pieces of fruit or nuts. Your body just changes the way it accepts food over time. At least my body did. I don't think I can do a traditional diet - I have to be able to eat everything!

When I was pregnant, I didn't 'eat for 2' either so my body didn't hold much fat after birth. I have saggy tummy skin but that's another thread!

I now naturally also use the 16:8 method (it's still intermittent fasting) where you only eat in an 8 hour window. You're asleep for most of the rest anyway. My window is around 12-8pm. I haven't eaten a proper breakfast in about 16 years. My body just isn't ready for proper food in the morning. Maybe a piece of fruit. I do my feeding from around noon.

I eat WHATEVER i like, but I can't physically eat large quantities of it.
Here's what i ate yesterday (not in order): rice with chicken, ice-cream, hot chocolate, lemonade, bread, nuts, grapes, dried fish, grapefruit juice, my daughter's discarded MCnuggets, a boiled egg with the rice. I always have lots of chocs, sweets, crisps, biscuits at home but I'm one of those that can't eat more than 3 biscuits in a day. I eat a sharing bag of Haribo or other sweets over 1 week.

Are you doing the 10000 steps a day? If you aren't maybe you could start that. Many people use a fitbit (other brands available) to monitor their steps.

Here's a home walking video that I still use when I feel I've been inactive during the day (or that I've eaten too much)

10,000 steps has been debunked, it's better to do more intense short bursts of activity. Weight is mostly determined by food, not activity levels. The one thing that being more active does help with, however, is realising how much activity you have to do to equal the calories of a particular food or meal. Most of the time I'll now look at a doughnut and think "I haven't earned this today" or "that's not worth the amount of calories it would take to burn it off" whereas if you're not mindful of how many calories you burn whilst walking etc there's no way to compare input and output.

Exercise! I cannot diet but I can exercise. I rarely actually WANT to but I always feel better afterwards.
I don't eat more because I exercise (but I do exercise because I love food sooooo much).

Also a really interesting point is that some calories in food are harder to get at than others due to processing.
For example raw carrot calories are harder to get than cooked carrot calories because you need to use more energy to chew and digest the raw ones. Totally makes sense when you think about it.
So avoid over processed foods! Walk to the shops, carry the bags, prepare and cook the food... this uses a lot more calories than tapping the app.