To think I'll never be slim... I cannot diet

[Takiwatanga]

I have tried it all. The only thing that kept me slim was starvation or cigs. Neither appeal to me now as a mother! I am just so upsry with myself and lack of self control. I cannot diet, i literally cave after a day or 2. I hate diets. I try to eat sensibly but struggle so much with moderation. I'm so depressed with feeling fat and having no self control. I'm not obese, but I'm porkeier than I have ever been and cannot see a way out. I just wish I could view food how normal folk do. Aibu to give up and simply be a chubster for life.?

I really like all the brilliant advice on this thread - anicissimma and PostNotInHastes's posts have struck a chord, I've copied and pasted them to read again.

This is such a supportive site for food/weight issues. :)

Healthy mummy uk might work for you.

Good grief, 10,000 steps is always going to be better than 5000 steps as it is more activity. All these fads.

Good grief, 10,000 steps is always going to be better than 5000 steps as it is more activity. All these fads.

Not all steps are created equal, though. Any movement is good, but getting your heart rate up and keeping your body uncertain of what's coming next is better.

Reading this thread, it has occurred to me that maybe we do far too much thinking about exactly what we are going to do to lose weight (to the point of getting bogged down in exactly how many calories, how many steps, what type of carbs etc) and not nearly enough time thinking about how we are going to make ourselves stick to the plan. Because what goes wrong with diets and exercise plans isn't the details but the willpower. Most diets will make you lose weight if you can stick to them.

I think the most helpful ideas on this thread have been about how to make these plans fit in with your normal life. Little fixes you can make without it occupying much headspace or taking much planning. Otherwise dieting seems to become a kind of rather boring hobby!

Stop splitting hairs.
For many people, just standing up rather than sitting down while they post on MN will make a significant difference to their muscle tone and calorific needs.

HiiT or 10,000 steps are utterly irrelevant when people are disabled or severely overweight.

Learning how to get out of chair without using hands
or getting up off the floor without using hands
or going up the stairs without using hands
or standing on one leg while brushing teeth

are better first stages

Try the Paul McKenna I can make you thin app. It helps to reprogram your mind to adopt a healthy attitude to food. It has helped me lose 3st and keep it off.

Don’t diet. Change your lifestyle. I’ve dropped 3 dress sizes in 8 years and kept it off. I’ve never dieted. I just make sure to get a lot of activity in my daily routine. Need to walk at least a couple of miles every day and make a concerted effort to do some aerobic exercise. I eat healthily during the week and have one biscuit a day. I don’t actively count calories but estimate I’m within 2000 calorie limit. At the weekend anything goes. That’s it really.

I find all this really interesting. I'm slim (not as slim as I was since turning 40 but still 5ft7 and 9 1/2 stone).

I've a friend who since having children has put on a lot of weight and is always trying to lose it. When we go out she is always choosing a huge desert even after she has stated she is full up. At a Chinese buffet her plate is refilled more times than everyone else. I have no issue with this but just don't moan about putting on weight!!! I think a lot of people have forgotten to listen to when they are full and will continue to eat regardless

I’m exactly the same OP. I’m just starting back on intermittent fasting. Eating between 12-6pm each day and trying to eat healthy, lots of vegetables etc. I’ve put on a stone in a year due to a bereavement last year that saw me take solace in food.

YANBU at all.

All the research shows diet do not work for 95% of people because they are based upon principles people cannot maintain.

The 5% who do maintain weight loss do so because they discover exercise in a big way,

You are better off focusing on exercise. Start small and build up .

The 5% who do maintain weight loss do so because they discover exercise in a big way,
Do you have a link for that ?

You cannot exercise off a bad diet
you need to eat less

I stopped focusing on being thin and focused on getting strong. It has changed my life. I took up Martial Art training in which we do lots of strength and conditioning. I didn't diet but I did cut right back on biscuits/cake etc. The weight fell off and I got muscles to boot.
Strength training burns the calories and tones you up. Now I am at peace with my body and even like and respect it. I'm not thin but I'm toned and I have good posture due to core strength. I'm a size 12. It suits me and my body type.
Now I eat healthily but heartily and I keep training and my weight has been the same for a long time. I drink wine at the weekends too

Everything that goes in your mouth you have chosen to put there.

"You cannot exercise off a bad diet
you need to eat less"

Of course you can. But the point is, it takes mere minutes to pile in 1000cals, but hours to burn it off.

OP, are there any forms of exercise you'd find it easy to fit into normal life? Cycle to work, walk to the shops often instead of 1 trip in the car? Some kind of hobby that works around your family responsibilities. I wouldn't count the gym in this, can't see any fun in this. I found that being fit you tend to eat healthier meals anyway.

I've been on and off low-carbing for years now and I'm even heavier than when I started. I can stick to a low-carb diet for months and months, but after the first month I just stop losing weight.

I've just ended a 3 month low-carb diet because I wasn't losing weight. I'm now on a vegan diet and the weight is creeping on without me eating much at all. I eat 3 small meals a day, mostly veg and no snacks.

I think weight gain is inevitable for most middle-aged people. At least I'm healthy and not that fat (size 12 to 14).

Talk there is MASSES of research out there proving that diets don’t work...masses of it. Just google it and you will find it but I will find some links for you.

Exercise is key...it’s not an option. Weight loss should be slow so you don’t starve your body but actually trick your brain into feeling okay while using slightly more calories than you take in.

Weight loss is slower but you will keep it off.

delores
I accept that diets don't work.

I'd like to see the link that the 5% who keep the weight off all get into exercise
as that is quite a claim.

I’m 59 years old and for last 20 years have struggled with weight. I am 3 stone overweight.
I hate my body. I have tried EVERYTHING
I am now considering gastric band procedure but am very worried if it’s the right thing to do.
I would love to hear from someone who has actually had a gastric band please. What was your experience? Is it worth it? How does it change your life? Anything you can share would be most welcome please??

Hi OP, you asked for exercise recommendations. I have stumbled across Betty Rocker. She has a free 30 day exercise programme. It is 15mins a day (takes me about 25 mins by the time I have removed small children and double check what she is doing etc). But it is amazing!
I am on day 10 and hooked. It is very hard work (be warned) but you really feel like you have achieved something, and it is easy to fit into your day. I also feel a lot happier (must be endorphins) and that is meaning I am snacking less.
As for eating. I had a serious problem with eating (compulsive overeating/ bulimia) and eventually decided to take control or spend the rest of my life like that. I viewed it as a long term project but normalise my eating. Denied myself nothing but started off rigid about eating patterns, three meals, off a small plate, no snacks (but if was genuinely hungry could have somehting like fruit/nuts/oatcake). It took about a year, but you do readjust and your body learns to recognise when hungry and you learn to stop eating when sated. I think all the crap I was eating was destroying my body's natural ability to self regulate. I'm much happier now.

Avaz
There is a gastric band thread here
www.mumsnet.com/Talk/weight_loss_chat/3225261-gastric-bypass-in-2-months

but if you can avoid surgery it would be better for you

Talkingpeace, kindly do not patronise me. The OP is not obese or disabled, she is a size 14. HIIT vs 10,000 steps is entirely relevant.

Thank you so much! I’ll check it out. 👍

@MrsJamin, what do you mean 10000 has been debunked? It wasn't a scientific fact in the first place and another group of 'experts' gave their own opinion on what works better.

There are hundreds of ideas to lose weight so if yours actually works, give it without needing to 'debunk' someone else's.

@insideoutsider The NHS made a big deal of the 10k steps so the science was good enough for them for some time. I think we agree tbh and you're just trying to get one over me on who knows more! It's worthwhile saying it has been debunked as so many people cite it as something important to manage every day. Fitbits are sold on the back of the idea. Many people can manage 10k by not doing the best kind of activity that could actually make a difference to their health. 150min per week of heartbeat-raising activity is a better aim.