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Original poster

Have you got any CF stories/Experiences

127 replies

Lorddenning1 · 27/07/2018 12:38

Inspired by a couple of CF threads, what are your

CF stories, we are due a new thread of collective CFkery

OP posts:
BearCubX · 27/07/2018 19:47

@macattack52 do you get told a lot you're a few sandwiches short of a picnic?

macattack52 · 27/07/2018 19:48

@BearCubX do you get told a lot that you are being quite rude?

BachAtTheMoon · 27/07/2018 19:49

Calm down mac!

Have you got any CF stories/Experiences
viques · 27/07/2018 19:49

my cousin and me not my cousin and I

Just saying.

RideOn · 27/07/2018 19:49

I also was in Lush at the time this happened (behind the soaps) I saw the bathbomb hit the employee but then it ricocheted (had to check spelling for that one) off him and hit me on the head, knocking me senseless and I shouted "I want my Daddeeeeeeeeeee", do you remember that?

I'm going to put in a claim against you, once I recover my senses.

macattack52 · 27/07/2018 19:54

@RideOn Not very funny.

macattack52 · 27/07/2018 19:54

@RideOn what branch was this?

SilverDragonfly1 · 27/07/2018 19:55

Can also confirm, it was my son and I had to leave my work as a High Court Judge to come and pick him up. Very annoying.

SoShinySoChrome · 27/07/2018 19:56

It ricocheted against me too and actually made a hole though my body. It’s the exact shape of a bath bomb and there’s still glitter round the edges.

The hole is useful for keeping my umbrella in, like today. So I suppose I owe you thanks for my bodily upgrade and modification.

Okaassan · 27/07/2018 19:58

How do you know he got suspended?

There are a lot of open questions with the story, but the suspension on the spot needs more clarification.

Otherwise I doubt I will get any sleep tonight. 😂🤣

Celticmombella · 27/07/2018 19:59

I think @macattack52 has decided that this thread is where cf put their hands up and say I'm a cf and proud of it!!! 🤣 🤣 🤣 🤣

macattack52 · 27/07/2018 19:59

@Okaassan the manager reprimanded him in front of me and the rest of the shop.

RideOn · 27/07/2018 20:00

Concussion, I can't remember exactly. The 30 yr old ended up asking me out, we had a lot in common overdependence on parents but sadly his DM was a bit OTT and he wouldn't go NC . . . . . . I believe she is on mumsnet actually

RideOn · 27/07/2018 20:01

x-post with Silverdragonfly1 #awkward

TheOxymoron · 27/07/2018 20:03

Oh look the bullying sheep have flocked to a post.
True or not, there is no need to all take a pop at one person.
I detest bullies.

witchofzog · 27/07/2018 20:09

I was looking forward to lots of cf stories and it's mainly just lots of piss taking out of one poster Hmm Its boring now and not kind. Lay off people

SilverDragonfly1 · 27/07/2018 20:10

RideOn I strongly suggest you don't commit any serious crimes in the near future.

My Bubs doesn't need the likes of you hanging about.

CardsforKittens · 27/07/2018 20:13

Most of mine are fairly trivial and a bit weird rather than outrageous.

A few years ago there was a leak in my bathroom so my landlord arranged for someone to come and fix it. I am not sure this was an actual plumber because (a) my landlord was rather tight with money, and (b) the workman arrived with a teenage boy and a middle aged woman in tow. I was working from home and was stressed about meeting a deadline so I didn't think about the situation: I got on with my work and let the plumber get on with his.

The teenage boy seemed to be helping in the bathroom, but the woman must have been having a look around because she appeared in my office 20 minutes later, complimented me on various aspects of my home, and asked to have a go on my laptop so she could check her email. I was clearly in the middle of using it, but that didn't seem to matter to her. It was just so odd.

RideOn · 27/07/2018 20:13

macattack52 has posted details of the assault as a separate thread so maybe the more serious aspects of it can be discussed there

I'm keeping a low profile from now on

RideOn · 27/07/2018 20:15

separate thread now deleted

mmmgoats · 27/07/2018 20:23

Maybe Maca needs to start an AMA.

The most CF experience of my life was a misunderstanding and mistake on my part but initially seemed to be the most brazen cheeky fuckery.
On holiday in a lovely chalet, in a little row of them.
I put my bikini out to dry on the back of a chair overnight.
Next morning I went out to discover it was gone, only for neighbour to swan along in said bikini, say hi breezily and swim a few laps before going back.
I stewed over what to say to her all day before finding the bikini down a gap between the patio and the little fence which i hadn’t known was there, and hadn’t spotted.
Not my bikini at all she was wearing - imagine if i’d said something!!
So no real cheeky fuckery but still makes me laugh when i think about how appalled and bemused i was at the time.

HunterofStars · 27/07/2018 20:25

I have several cf incidents that have happened in my parent's village.

  1. My parents have a bus stop outside their house and one day, my dad noticed a young lady standing under their french doors. He politely pointed out that it was private property and could she wait for the bus in the proper space. The young lady whined it was raining and my dad said he didn't care, he didn't want her standing there. She said he was a mean man and stormed off to where the actual bus stop was.
  1. A friend of my parents has a house in the village that has a lot of historical interest and he is happy to allow tourists access to certain parts of the building. One day, he went out into his private garden and found a couple sitting on his patio table and chairs eating their picnic.
  1. Another couple were walking in parents' friend's field and saw his working farm dog out and took the dog to a rescue centre. Because the dog was microchipped the rescue centre sent the dog to some kennels where he was reunited with his owner. Parent's friend had to pay the boarding fees. He was Angry.
MeMyselfand · 27/07/2018 20:38

macattack52 Grin It's already been said but had to repeat it, you have made this thread you crazy cat

GinUnicorn · 27/07/2018 21:11

Oh I have one!

Years ago. I was driving home after a long shift feeling knackered. (I started around 4am and finished around 2pm)

I go up my road and try to turn to my drive way when I see there is a car blocking it. A lady is sat in the passenger seat. I’m a bit confused so wait a minute then toot my horn.

She looks flustered and gets out and calls to someone.

I’m getting a bit annoyed waiting and am blocking the road so toot again more insistently. Her husband (I assume) comes back into the car.
I have my windows down and see him looking at me.

I think he’s obviously going to apologise- ah well no harm done.

No he rudely shouts “you couldn’t have just waited ten minutes.”

He then moves his car and I suss out his intention is to park on the curb behind my drive way.

After his rudeness I think no bloody way so go into my drive but leave the back of my car over the dropped curb.

He was clearly livid but couldn’t say anything.

TellMeItsNotTrue · 27/07/2018 21:22

31 pages of CF stories Enjoy Grin

(Btw, it feels wrong to post as it's my own thread Blush and I don't want to hijack yours, but you wanted CF stories and if it was the other way round I would just be glad to be linked to so many)