to be annoyed by people who let their kids run round supermarkets 'playing'

[ProperLavs]

Actually screaming and running into people.
I had an interesting 'conversation' with a woman when i muttered for someone to stop them screaming and running around. This woman, who didn't actually have anything to do with the kids, who were roughly 4 and 2, told me they were only playing.

I told her it was a very busy supermarket and they shouldn't be playing here
She then muttered about some people having to take their children shopping. I told her I had had to take all of mine (6 under 8) and no they were't ever allowed to run round screaming whilst I ignored them.
Wtf is wrong with people?

YANBU. Lazy parents who think that they are ‘so relaxed’.

I’ve an SN child and it makes it worse for me to try and teach good behaviour as they can see everyone elses kids running around! And then if he does have a meltdown people think I’ve let him run off (it’s usually because I’m enforcing the no running off... )

Well climbing into a trolley is pretty dangerous too! It shouldn’t be an either or!

A few people have said this but it’s great and simple advice.

To anyone with SN / ASD / Energetic children and it’s getting a bit out of hand, going to the shops...

Do most shopping online
Then do really short shopping trips - even 5 minutes - just focusing on getting your kid to walk around it either holding your hand, or with you, or without running, or in the trolley whatever.

I totally turned around shopping for my kids this way. And no old ladies were knocked over!

I don't see this a lot. Maybe once or occaionally twice a month. Not many let their kids run riot. Though any good kid can have a hyper time. And parents sometimes have to choose their battles.

'Engage them in the shopping process' is hardly a unique idea but sometimes people have a bad day. Or it's the 4th trip to Tesco in a week.

Understand employees must see it more and be frustrated. But as a customer I try not to judge.

It's usually very obvious when it's a Runner vs Tag Players.

Runners are solo and there's a parent not far behind trying to catch up. The tag players are usually a couple of 10 year olds shouting, laughing and absolutely bombing about the aisles.

I think 99% of people see the difference and don't judge the solo runners. No matter if the runner is 2 or 12.

I do online shopping and have a weekly Ocado shop, however I very occasionally pop to the shops with my children. They scoot there, so what are we meant to do with the scooters once we are there? They are competent, they don't bash people or things on their scooters, but they are quite loud and might do a quick zoom down an empty aisle, wouldn't you be tempted to do the same?

MrsMarigold Bring a lock? Teach the DC to walk their scooter in supermarket? Walk to the supermarket?

MrsMarigold

How about letting your kids walk to the shops without scooters? As for letting them zoom down an empty aisle, why do you think that's ok? Seriously?

Although my son is not allowed to run around screaming, we do play a game called “magic boots” where I will whisper to him “I’ve got the magic boots” and then we “follow the magic boots” to the next aisle, double back or run down an empty aisle quickly. It keeps shopping entertaining for my son and means he doesn’t get too bored. The baby squeals with delight too and loves it when we go backwards down an aisle (usually to pick up something we have missed) I’m always super mindful of other people though and if there’s too many people around we won’t do it or we restrict ourselves to emptier aisles

No one has ever been knocked over or even bumped by mine either. I feel these are the same people who get excitable on the tube when they see my children swinging from the rails or climbing poles, obviously they only do it if there is space but what's the harm at least they're occupied. I was with DH, DD and her friend and a woman was fuming at the girls but they weren't in her way, they weren't rude, there are a lot of very sanctimonious people out there.

I feel these are the same people who get excitable on the tube when they see my children swinging from the rails or climbing poles, obviously they only do it if there is space but what's the harm at least they're occupied

Bloody hell, you're a lost cause.

There's a time and a place to run wild. And a time and a place not to. Important to know the difference. I don't think that's sanctimonious. I think it's called being mindful of others. Lovely that some kids are so competent and in control of their scooters whizzing up an aisle that they could immediately stop if someone frail appeared round the corner.

"They scoot there, so what are we meant to do with the scooters once we are there?"

As I suggested earlier, @MrsMarigold, fold the scooters up and put them in the trolley. And teach your children that, whilst some things may be very tempting, we can't always give into temptation. Just because something is fun, doesn't always make it a good idea.

And frankly I am with the woman who was fuming when you let your children climb the poles and swing on the rails on the Underground - it is not a playground, and you should be making your children behave properly.

All three of my boys travelled by train a lot, and used the underground and buses, and none of them ever swung on the rails or climbed the poles - it is entirely inappropriate, and there is nothing sanctimonious in fuming at the parents who let their little darlings misbehave like that. It is not charming or funny and they are not going to become repressed and joyless if they are taught that different situations require different behaviours.

Quite FrancisCrawford "yet" is exactly right. Just by luck no doubt.

"You might have perfectly behaved children in the supermarket but I have a sneaking suspicion that these children growing up with a parent who actively goes out of their way to make such cutting, direct comments may have different kinds of issues growing up."

@fairymuff - I promise you that I managed to ensure good behaviour (not perfect - I am not perfect, and my boys were not perfect nor did I expect them to be - but I did expect them to try to remember the rules) in my boys without resorting to cutting comments, and all three have grown up to be pleasant, well-adjusted, socially adept young men who are a pleasure to be around (not just my opinion, but the opinion of their friends and their friends' parents).

It is not an either-or situation - you can get a child to behave nicely without terrorising them or giving them lifelong issues.

I'm seeing more and more of this stuff as well. The thing is, adult clothes and food shopping is mind numbingly boring for kids, so why on earth take them in the first place?

ToffeePennie, I was quite enchanted reading about that game in your post.

I feel these are the same people who get excitable on the tube when they see my children swinging from the rails or climbing poles

The tube isn't a playground...even if it's quiet they should not be swinging or climbing on poles. I'm not surprised people get mad really.

With so many parents seemingly given mixed messages to their children it’s no wonder so many don’t learn how to behave in different environments.

Supermarkets, public transport and similar are not places to run around. I can’t see why that causes any confusion or debate!

what are we meant to do with the scooters once we are there?

Kids don't need things with wheels on to be able to go any where. They can walk

Oh gosh. Entitled kids and piss poor parenting.

Well not for lack of trying and putting every behavioural technique I have in place.

Nope, my two still run riot, refuse to listen and no amount of bribery works.

I don't use scooters in shops though. They just like to bounce off each other and drive me insane.

Btw I have a degree in child education and lots of experience.

What a shit post to make me feel even shittier about my parenting.

It is true that online shopping isn’t accessible to all, e.g those who shop at Aldi or Lidl and also maybe it’s cheaper driving there and back than paying for a delivery pass each month. Also, most people in supermarkets aren’t doing a full shop and have just popped in for a few bits.

But children shouldn’t be allowed to run around in supermarkets, of course. They are basically on a collision course and will either wind up hurting themselves, someone else or they will smash something.

I totally agree it's dangerous for them to be running about and I have been belted into many a time in our supermarket.

The comments about how children shouldn't be allowed in supermarkets and how people with children should only be allowed to do an online shop are totally ridiculous. I don't do 'big' shops and I don't always want to order £40 of nearly out of date food. I quite enjoy taking my 3 year old. He either sits in the trolley or has to hold my hand and he 'helps' me. He's never been allowed to move from my side and he's quite a handful usually.

No child hour? I'd go for a no miserable fucker hour.