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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to be annoyed by people who let their kids run round supermarkets 'playing'

669 replies

ProperLavs · 26/07/2018 15:04

Actually screaming and running into people.
I had an interesting 'conversation' with a woman when i muttered for someone to stop them screaming and running around. This woman, who didn't actually have anything to do with the kids, who were roughly 4 and 2, told me they were only playing.

I told her it was a very busy supermarket and they shouldn't be playing here
She then muttered about some people having to take their children shopping. I told her I had had to take all of mine (6 under 8) and no they were't ever allowed to run round screaming whilst I ignored them.
Wtf is wrong with people?

OP posts:
0h · 27/07/2018 13:45

I've had to bark, "it's not a playground," many many times. I use a walker so can't dodge the little 'darlings.'

The parents often mutter but not one of the idiots has tried to start something with me as they know they're in the wrong. Plus they know they'll look like an utter cunt bellowing in the face of a 4' 11" disabled woman. Ha! Though I'm sure one day that'll not stop someone!

MarthasGinYard · 27/07/2018 13:48

Op

Yanbu

Agree entirely

edinburghlass1991 · 27/07/2018 13:49

Yes I completely agree but my son has asd and can’t talk nor understand and if he’s in a pushchair or trolley he screams I try my hardest to keep him away from others but if someone said something I’d probably burst into tears as I really can’t win

bringincrazyback · 27/07/2018 13:52

I'd never judge someone who's clearly trying to placate a screaming toddler.

I once heard a flustered couple trying to soothe their screaming toddler in a supermarket by saying 'What do you want? Point to what you want and I'll get it.' I judge the hell out of that sort of approach. That's how kids get to be entitled brats in the first place.

YouTheCat · 27/07/2018 14:00

Yeah. Fair enough. I'd judge the hell out of that too.

Edinburgh, I certainly wouldn't judge you. I once had a lovely chat with a woman in a queue in Superdrug. One of her kids was stimming a lot as his way of coping and I could see she was feeling a bit judged/embarrassed as some people were staring. She said it was nice to talk to someone who knew how she was feeling.

Smellbellina · 27/07/2018 14:03

This thread hilarious!

MrsPreston11 · 27/07/2018 14:08

YANBU

We were in a supermarket the day before yesterday and there was a boy of maybe 8 or 9 laying on the floor having been running around chasing/fighting with some siblings.

My 5yo looked at him like he had two heads and my 7 year old nearly tutted. But then I get funny looks for letting them hang off/sit in the trolley. So I'm no supermarket angel, clearly.

Sleepyblueocean · 27/07/2018 14:17

Why do those whose children run away/around not use reins?

PrettyLovely · 27/07/2018 14:20

"Why do those whose children run away/around not use reins?"

Reigns dont work for my toddler he just sits on the floor and doesnt move like a dead weight, Thats why I put him back in the pushchair.

PrettyLovely · 27/07/2018 14:27

@edinburghlass1991 I wouldn't judge Flowers

EmergencyNamePanic · 27/07/2018 14:31

I am another one with a child with ASD. We do our shopping at 8am when it is quieter in the hope it is easier for us and other people. We try and keep control however it is a challenge when we have a 4 year old and a just turned 3 year old who is only just starting to grasp why her behaviour rules are different than her brother’s.

We don’t shop online as it is important for him to do the every day tasks other people take for granted and to ensure he is learning some life skills. I do get upset when people judge us as bad parents and don’t necessarily think about other reasons.

0h · 27/07/2018 14:31

The running around kids I see are always waaaay to old for reins.

Sleepyblueocean · 27/07/2018 14:36

Pushchair instead of reins is fine. It's the I can't stop them running around all the time but don't use reins that is the problem. I've got a much older child with challenging behaviour still in reins so I don't have much sympathy for those who leave their child running about ( you are not one of those).

tillytrotter1 · 27/07/2018 14:48

We were out eating a meal with our granddaughter, aged 7, yesterday and at more than one point I told her to cut her food and not simply bite it off a fork, 'It's not a lollypop'. The woman with the children at the next table loudly commented to her family, 'Snooty bitch' nodding towards me. She she staggered when on leaving, I said to her 'Thank you for your comment, it's gratifying to see that one's standards are acknowledged and appreciated, even here'. Her jaw is probably still on the floor!

LittleCandle · 27/07/2018 14:49

At my last job, I shouted at badly behaved children when the need arose and management always backed me as they were too scared to say anything themselves. One little darling, of about 3 or 4, was being allowed to climb up the outside of our glass-balustrade stairs. A colleague rang down from upstairs to see if we knew where said brat was, as the parents were paying no attention to him. My colleague was just in time to hear me bellowing 'get down right now!' both over the phone and wafting upstairs. The parents took umbrage and left, vowing never to darken the door again. Like we were bothered.

Another time, I shouted, having been ignored the first few times I had asked politely, to stop 11 and 12 year old children climbing through a table and knocking piles of clothing onto the floor. The parents had seen them and said nothing. I got several black looks, but I can guarantee if the kids had hurt themselves, they would have blamed us. Likewise the ones that wanted to 'play' with the very expensive mannequins and the parents objected when I said that if the kids damaged the mannes, they would be coughing up to replace them and £8000 or so is not something most people have lying around.

21stCenturyMrsBennett · 27/07/2018 14:57

Why do those whose children run away/around not use reins?

What makes you think the children being talked about are young enough to use reins?

21stCenturyMrsBennett · 27/07/2018 15:00

It’s amaxing the lengths some parents will try to go to to justify their poor parenting choices.No child needs to run around in a supermarket. It’s as simple as that!

Gosh, really? It's that simple? i do try not to take my son to the shops but occasionally have to, and his medications can make him incredibly hyperactive, to the point where he can't keep still and can just run off. We try very hard to control him but we are not perfect and sometimes we fail.
Good to know that we are just very bad parents though, thanks so much for that!

Sleepyblueocean · 27/07/2018 15:05

"What makes you think the children being talked about are young enough to use reins?"

My 12 year old wears reins.

LovelyBath77 · 27/07/2018 15:07

I have seen it in Waitrose and the staff came out gave the kid a lolly to calm it down!

likeacrow · 27/07/2018 15:13

While children running riot in the supermarket is annoying and frustrating, saying someone's kids should be taken into care because they can't always control them is fucking stupid, not to mention unrealistic and unbelievably nasty.

bringincrazyback · 27/07/2018 15:15

Do people still use reins? Can't remember the last time I saw them, but they always seemed helpful to me from a child safety POV.

Mummymummums · 27/07/2018 15:16

Totally agree OP. Whenever I see children playing 'it' or generally charging around a supermarket it always worries me what will happen if they charge into a frail person. My late DM had a physiotherapist to test her for falls and with one behind her, the other tapped her on the shoulder with modest force. DM went straight backwards (obviously not far as 2nd physio was ready for it). Yes, I did her shopping but she still occasionally went herself.
One knock is all it takes. I wish people would think this through. My DD11 has ADHD but I lay out ground rules before going shopping, and she has helped with basket, scanning, choosing etc. Accidents will happen, but some are preventable.

Sleepyblueocean · 27/07/2018 15:18

21stCenturyMrsBennett you are not letting your son play in supermarkets and then trying to say there is nothing you can do about it.

Summerlovin24 · 27/07/2018 15:19

My kids sat in trolley eating an apple. When bored I wd let older one climb in and out of trolley. Wdnt let them run about. My son waa physically capable so i knew he was ok and thought it better than running about annoying people. However people still thought it was ok to pass comment. #health and safety police

fairymuff · 27/07/2018 15:20

I started reading this thread thinking that I agree with the poster. Having actually read it, I think I'd rather be the mother of misbehaving children in the supermarket than one who is as harsh and judgemental as some of the posters on here. You might have perfectly behaved children in the supermarket but I have a sneaking suspicion that these children growing up with a parent who actively goes out of their way to make such cutting, direct comments may have different kinds of issues growing up. Telling another parent (who may possibly may be vulnerable or struggling for reasons you don't know) to go on a parenting course or similar in such a direct way is pretty insensitive.

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