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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to be annoyed by people who let their kids run round supermarkets 'playing'

669 replies

ProperLavs · 26/07/2018 15:04

Actually screaming and running into people.
I had an interesting 'conversation' with a woman when i muttered for someone to stop them screaming and running around. This woman, who didn't actually have anything to do with the kids, who were roughly 4 and 2, told me they were only playing.

I told her it was a very busy supermarket and they shouldn't be playing here
She then muttered about some people having to take their children shopping. I told her I had had to take all of mine (6 under 8) and no they were't ever allowed to run round screaming whilst I ignored them.
Wtf is wrong with people?

OP posts:
Original poster
ProperLavs · 27/07/2018 18:32

A degree in child education means diddly honey. I don't believe in bribery for obedience. Young children must do what you say because you are in charge. Try telling them and then applying sanctions instead.

OP posts:
auditqueen · 27/07/2018 18:37

My 80 year old father is currently in hospital recovering from a hip,operation due to some out of control little brat on a scooter crashing into him in a supermarket and knocking him over. The ducking stupid parent then had the gall to shout at my father for daring to walk down the aisle of a supermarket to buy some bread.

Luckily he'll be ok and luckily the manager of said supermarket was,apologetic to my father and banned the stupid arsehole twat from their premises.

Original poster
ProperLavs · 27/07/2018 18:48

fairy that's a very interesting angle you haven taken. I am actually a very laid back parent, however, in public my children have been taught that they are sharing the space with other people and they should behave in a way that doesn't upset others, be that on a train, in a supermarket, in a restaurant.
You tell them that you don't run, scream, shout, knock into people, kick the back of the cinema seat I front all the rest. You tell them not to do it be ausexthat's not How to behave in public.
They are mindful of people around them. They hAve not been bribed or had harsh words said to them .

OP posts:
noeyedeer · 27/07/2018 18:55

The worst I ever saw was in BandQ. Small boy, about 5 running up and down aisles whilst parents shopped.

We eventually made our way to the tile section. Big racks in rows with tiles displayed like roof tiles and big boxes underneath. Said small boy appears and starts pulling at the boxes, parents nowhere in sight. I said, "be careful, those boxes are very heavy." He runs off, then I hear giggling from inside the middle of the racks. Then there's an almighty crash and the rack behind me collapses. DH and I had to literally haul boxes of tiles off the small boy, who had a nasty gash on his head. Parents took a good few minutes to show up, after shop first aider, and proceeded to give the staff a mouthful. I gave my name, number and account of what had happened, and left shaking.

2010Aussie · 27/07/2018 18:57

Auditqueen So sorry to hear about your dad. I hope that he makes a full recovery.

It is beyond belief that a parent should blame an elderly man for getting in their child's way. Are these people really that selfish? But encouraging that they have been banned from the supermarket. Perhaps the parents might get the message.

A child free hour is a lovely idea. Then elderly people can shop in peace without worrying about this sort of incident. Quite happy to have a 'miserable old git' free hour as well. I will stay away while children and their entitled parents can run riot.

elephantfan · 27/07/2018 19:08

Years ago my elderly neighbour was knocked over by kids on roller skates. She broke her hip, got pneumonia and died.
So sad, she was a lovely lady.

CheeseTheDay · 27/07/2018 19:10

#Auditqueen* - very sorry to hear about your dad, I hope he makes a full recovery.

Sadly, I'm not surprised about the parent's response, as I've had similar while in a supermarket.

As I was grabbing something off a shelf, with my trolley right by me (I'm not one of those who leaves the trolley in the middle of the aisle!), a young boy once came round the corner on his scooter so fast, and crashed into my trolley. I could see what was going to happen, but I had no time to get my trolley out of the way, because it was all so quick. He landed flat on his face, but thankfully, wasn't badly injured.

Anyway, the mother turns to me, and shouts at me for having my "trolley in the way." Er, excuse me? I politely pointed out to her, that my trolley belonged in the supermarket, and that scooters don't!

auditqueen · 27/07/2018 19:12

He's going to be ok, Aussie, but he's lost a lot of confidence and suddenly seems much older. I'm so angry about the lack of basic respect and manners that many children seem to display these days. I don't blame them, just their fucking useless parents, but it's the kids who will suffer as they grow up and no one wants their company or to employ them.

As for my dad, he's going to stay with us for a while when he comes out of hospital. I'd be happy for him to live with us permanently, but he wants to return to his own house, so we shall see.

Original poster
ProperLavs · 27/07/2018 19:31

auditqueen really sorry about your dad. Parents who let kids cause that kind of damage should be sued .

OP posts:
2010Aussie · 27/07/2018 19:56

Hear hear, OP!

I would be interested to hear from any legal types as to whether it would be feasible to sue. Presumably it would be a civil action?

AuditQueen - it's the loss of confidence and independence which is the most worrying. I wish your dad well.

To all those posters who say "it's only playing", "they're only having fun" etc etc - how would you HONESTLY feel if your elderly relative or small child was seriously injured by a kid running up and down or charging round on a scooter in a supermarket. Would you REALLY say "Oh it was just an accident; these things happen". Or is it different if it's someone else's child?

Nsbgsyebebdnd · 27/07/2018 20:16

I found this whole thread very judgemental and pretty depressing read. Children are different - some are much easier to control than others. It can be incredibly hard for parents- it’s not usually a case of parents not parenting well. My dd was always so easy and never any trouble at supermarkets whilst my ds is a nightmare yet I’m exactly the same
Parent. sometimes I feel maybe I shouldn’t go out with him in case he behaves badly. This thread only makes me feel
More like that. People describing kids as brats etc on here is so depressing.

Nsbgsyebebdnd · 27/07/2018 20:17

Oh but I agree scooters should never be allowed in supermarkets.

Original poster
ProperLavs · 27/07/2018 20:20

Nsbgsyebebdnd different children need parenting in different ways. What works with one might not work with the other, but it can be done and absolutely should be done. It doesn't mean it will be easy, but it is your duty as parent teach them how to behave in public.

OP posts:
Nsbgsyebebdnd · 27/07/2018 20:22

Thank you for your reply proper. In my own situation my ds is being assessed currently. If only life were so simple. I’m a perfectly good parent

PrettyLovely · 27/07/2018 20:24

"People describing kids as brats etc on here is so depressing."

I Totally agree^^

Sirzy · 27/07/2018 20:25

It’s not about being a perfect parent. But it’s about finding ways to make it work without allowing your child to be disruptive and potentially seriously hurt someone else.

Ds is Austic and has adhd (amongst other things) however I would never dream of using that as an excuse for allowing him to run riot in a supermarket. Nobody is saying it is easy but something being tough isn’t a reason not to do it

Nsbgsyebebdnd · 27/07/2018 20:29

I don’t think anyone plans to let their kids run riot?! Of course parents need to control their children and not allow them to run around. However, sadly in my case he sometimes escapes!! It’s not a planned escapade!!! It’s rare and it’s hard.

Isawthelight · 27/07/2018 20:31

"People describing kids as brats etc on here is so depressing."

How do you describe children who have no boundaries and useless parents?

Sirzy · 27/07/2018 20:32

I’m guessing you haven’t read the thread if you don’t believe some parents try to justify letting their children run riot!

2010Aussie · 27/07/2018 20:41

Nobody expects perfect parenting and children from the same family can behave in totally different ways. And the odd tantrum from a small child ..... well we've all been there.

It's those parents who fail to take responsibility for their children who concern me. If the child injures itself or another shopper, then it has to be someone else's fault - either the injured person or the supermarket staff. The child cannot possibly be in the wrong.

As someone else has said, entitled children end up as entitled adults who can't hold down a job or relationship because they are used to getting their own way. But of course, it's always someone else who is to blame.

Nsbgsyebebdnd · 27/07/2018 20:44

I understand that some
Parents may allow their kids to do this but I think it’s rare. Instead it’s often a behaviour thing and sometimes maybe the parents are struggling for various reasons. I just think people shouldnt just assume and judge that they are brats and useless parents. I suppose that’s what everyone assumes when my ds escapes as it were. That’s what depresses me. Scooting is clearly dangerous. Kids running around can happen by accident

MrMeSeeks · 27/07/2018 20:51

I understand that some
Parents may allow their kids to do this but I think it’s rare.
No, it’s really not.

auditqueen · 27/07/2018 21:19

Thank you. I'm hoping he'll soon be back to his normal annoying self!

I dint know how else to refer to kids like the one who run into Dad other than brat. And that's being polite.

auditqueen · 27/07/2018 21:24

Nsbgsyebebdnd* I'm sure you're doing everything you can to parent your child. If a child is misbehaving and the parent is doing their best to handle it, then that's not a problem. No one is unsympathetic to that. It's when the children are running riot and the parents do fuck all, stand by and laugh at them or blame innocent bystanders who their child knocks into. That's where the children are being brats - but it's the parents that are making them that way.

SDTGisAnEvilWolefGenius · 27/07/2018 21:24

@Nsbgsyebebdnd - I don’t think anyone is complaining about a child who makes a quick bid for freedom, halfway round the supermarket whose parent is doing their best to catch them - they are complaining about children who,are being allowed to run riot, and use the supermarket as a playground and whose parents are doing bugger-all to stop them - there is a big difference.