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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to be annoyed by people who let their kids run round supermarkets 'playing'

669 replies

ProperLavs · 26/07/2018 15:04

Actually screaming and running into people.
I had an interesting 'conversation' with a woman when i muttered for someone to stop them screaming and running around. This woman, who didn't actually have anything to do with the kids, who were roughly 4 and 2, told me they were only playing.

I told her it was a very busy supermarket and they shouldn't be playing here
She then muttered about some people having to take their children shopping. I told her I had had to take all of mine (6 under 8) and no they were't ever allowed to run round screaming whilst I ignored them.
Wtf is wrong with people?

OP posts:
SDTGisAnEvilWolefGenius · 27/07/2018 12:16

@MrsMarigold - why do you let your children go round the supermarket on their scooters? It makes absolutely NO difference that they are 'very competant' on them - it is NOT a suitable place for scooting.

Be the parent - tell them they cannot bring their scooters with them to the supermarket - or if they have to bring them (because they scoot to and from the shops), then make them fold the scooters and put them in the trolley before you go in the shop.

Be the parent.

5000KallaxHoles · 27/07/2018 12:21

I actually don't care, they are very energetic by anyone's standards

And how I look down on those unfortunate souls with "ordinary sluggish" children - fear my precious "spirited" and "very energetic" oh so special offspring - we scooter along on a cloud of superiority above you mortals. Apart from in the baked bean aisle - we just run around careering into little old ladies there.

lola212121 · 27/07/2018 12:25

@SDTGisAnEvilWolefGenius so you really think I don't do that already ? it doesn't work . things are not as black and white as some may think

SDTGisAnEvilWolefGenius · 27/07/2018 12:26

I don't know what you have or have not tried, @lola212121 - all I know is that, by your own admission, you have apparently stopped trying to get your children to behave in the supermarket!

lola212121 · 27/07/2018 12:33

@SDTGisAnEvilWolefGenius what would you do or have you done to try and curb their behaviour ? I will tell you what has happened when I do it or if I have tried it .

RedRedBluee · 27/07/2018 12:34

I used to work in a shop and one of the items sold was balls.
The amount of times I told a child to stop bouncing a ball and their parent had a go at me was unbelievable. “They’re only trying it out.” “Don’t tell them what to do you’re not their parent.”
Ermmm it was “tried out” 200 bounces ago and I doubt you’ll buy it, you just don’t want to parent your child.
And sooo many times the balls ended up causing damage to other display stands and stock which I had spent hours tidying. Angry

Ractify · 27/07/2018 12:35

Well, all I can say is thank goodness that scooters, bikes, trikes, skateboards, etc are banned from all shops here. I've never seen anyone racing about the shop on one, and am very grateful for that - it sounds completely ridiculous and very dangerous.

RedRedBluee · 27/07/2018 12:37

And confusingly some parents were thankful that I told their child to stop bouncing a ball because they wouldn’t do it themselves.
Because they were too much of a wet blanket that their child wouldn’t listen to them.

WowLookAtYou · 27/07/2018 12:51

So, monkeymummy, you don't live in the UK, you say that in Switzerland children don't behave like this and hat you've not seen such behaviour? But those of us who have seen it, are kid-bashing and parent-bashing to object to it?

SDTGisAnEvilWolefGenius · 27/07/2018 12:53

@lola212121 - I raised three energetic boys - ensuring good behaviour is a constant process, and you have to be consistent. Say No and mean it. If you threaten a sanction, carry through on it, despite tantrums. Be prepared to do the same thing over and over again, until the lesson is learned - if you try something and it doesn't work, don't give up. Have rewards for good behaviour too - if they walk nicely by the trolley, and are helpful going round the shop, they get a treat - I know the sugar police will faint, but a little packet of sweets to eat on the way home will not kill them.

Bringing up children is constant work - you have to keep reminding them of what you expect of them, and making sure they are doing it.

If I was really struggling with my children's behaviour at the supermarket, I'd do the bulk of the shopping online, for a few weeks, so I could do some really short, practice trips - for half a dozen, inessential treat items. I'd tell the children that I expected them to stay by the trolley/with me, and that, if they did, we'd be coming away with icecreams or cake - but that, if they didn't do as they were told, we would leave immediately, and there would be NO treats. And I would carry through on the threat, if, after a warning, they did not behave.

I would do that as many times as it took, for the lesson to sink in.

Sadly, the longer you leave it to try to teach them how to behave in public, the harder it will be, and the more times you will have to teach the lesson before they learn it.

Original poster
ProperLavs · 27/07/2018 12:56

lola just tell them what do you. You are in charge. If they don’t then sanction them properly. My guess is they know you are not able to set rules effectively. I could control them. Go on a parenting course.

OP posts:
FrancisCrawford · 27/07/2018 12:59

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Baumederose · 27/07/2018 13:01

I think there are a few times when you have young children where if you lose at key points you lose authority.

It means not backing down when it's tough.

No matter what happens they do not benefit by bad behaviour.

I went out with a friend once and her child to pizza hut. He couldn't sit still and started running round people's tables. I was mortified. My son knew the drill of restaurants, you sit down and we have a nice time. Or we leave if you can't behave. Pizza hut is a treat not a right. You don't get treats if you act like a bum. I would not have allowed it.

moanykids18 · 27/07/2018 13:02

As for the "needing" to take kids shopping, what about using online shopping. Who'd want to go shopping in this heat

Not everyone has access to online shopping and its not particularly warm everywhere.

BoxsetsAndPopcorn · 27/07/2018 13:07

If someone can access MN they can shop online. Even in rural areas there is a choice of online supermarkets.

Children need to learn how to behave and if the parents don't teach them how to do that then maybe external agencies are needed for the sake of the children.

moanykids18 · 27/07/2018 13:10

If someone can access MN they can shop online. Even in rural areas there is a choice of online supermarkets

Don't be daft, if you think for more than a second you know that not to be true.

JenFromTheGlen · 27/07/2018 13:12

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

DGRossetti · 27/07/2018 13:15

I went out with a friend once and her child to pizza hut. He couldn't sit still and started running round people's tables. I was mortified. My son knew the drill of restaurants, you sit down and we have a nice time. Or we leave if you can't behave. Pizza hut is a treat not a right. You don't get treats if you act like a bum. I would not have allowed it.

Did you leave when it started ? Because (dons flameproof suit) some might say that if you remained, you effectively condoned and enabled the shit behaviour.

scaryteacher · 27/07/2018 13:18

There was a little horror on a bike in IKEA this week. He just avoided my trolley stacked with bookshelves, as I couldn't move it quickly.

PrettyLovely · 27/07/2018 13:22

I have 4 pretty well behaved kids when out and about I get complimented on it alot. But like every single child they have their down days for example my 1and a half year old escaping from his pushchair last week whilst I nipped in to the shop to get some ice lollies for my kids on the way to the park, I had a lady giving me a filthy look whilst I picked him up and put him back in his pushchair, I do most of my shopping online as my one and a half year old although mostly pretty good sometimes he doesnt stay in his pushchair no matter how tight the straps are the kid is like houdini.
But I really cant stand how people look down on you if your kid is playing up especially when you are trying to sort them out hence my problem with ds last week.
It wasnt affecting her life there was no need for her sneering.

YouTheCat · 27/07/2018 13:29

Lola, try saying no and meaning it. You have to do it all the time and be consistent.

As has been said, do an online shop and only take the kids for short trips. Give them things to do.

My kids are both on the spectrum (now grown up). There was no online shopping when they were little and ds couldn't cope with supermarkets (too much noise, too many smells, too much to see and too bright). Once he was too big for a trolley, I did shopping during school hours. In the holidays I got my exh or his mother to watch him for an hour so I could shop. Even as an adult, he can only cope with short trips when it's quiet. If online shopping isn't an option, do you have a friend who could watch the kids for a short while so you can do the shopping?

There are always ways of doing things.

Also, I don't care how competent a child is on a scooter, supermarkets are not a playground, Mrs Marigold.

Baumederose · 27/07/2018 13:30

No she left with him. He isn't my kid and I am not responsible for what he does when she is there. It was embarrassing and it was the right thing to do. My son and enjoyed pizza hut buffet :)

Original poster
ProperLavs · 27/07/2018 13:32

Having a toddler strop isn’t the same as letting your kids run free whilst you ignore them. Whilst I hate the noise of screaming kids a stroppy toddler screaming is just part of life and we’ve all been there.

OP posts:
YouTheCat · 27/07/2018 13:36

I'd never judge someone who's clearly trying to placate a screaming toddler. I will judge someone who makes no effort to stop their kids running riot.

Sirzy · 27/07/2018 13:44

It’s amaxing the lengths some parents will try to go to to justify their poor parenting choices.

No child needs to run around in a supermarket. It’s as simple as that!