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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to be annoyed by people who let their kids run round supermarkets 'playing'

669 replies

ProperLavs · 26/07/2018 15:04

Actually screaming and running into people.
I had an interesting 'conversation' with a woman when i muttered for someone to stop them screaming and running around. This woman, who didn't actually have anything to do with the kids, who were roughly 4 and 2, told me they were only playing.

I told her it was a very busy supermarket and they shouldn't be playing here
She then muttered about some people having to take their children shopping. I told her I had had to take all of mine (6 under 8) and no they were't ever allowed to run round screaming whilst I ignored them.
Wtf is wrong with people?

OP posts:
PookieDo · 29/07/2018 19:12

The parents I am talking about are actively ignoring their kids - if they even know what they are doing and can see them doing it. Because you are concentrating on your shopping, it’s hard to also concerntrate on your kids. If you feel pretty confident your child doesn’t run off, knows the rules/boundaries then you feel more at ease taking them out. I can spot a parent a mile off who is struggling but trying their best with distraction methods and really trying not to let it get out of hand.

But there is undoubtedly a massive increase of parents who are so laid back with their kids in public places they are ignorant nightmares. They aren’t paying attention to their kids, aren’t talking to them, don’t know where they are in a shop, no awareness that other people might be pissed off by their bored kids using it as a playground - no one really blames the kids, it’s crap lazy parenting. I was born in 80’s on a council estate I know exactly what kids/parents these are - the grubby noisy kids still kicking a ball on your fence at 11pm at night whose parents do not give one flying shit who they bother as ‘its their right’ to do whatever they want no matter who it annoys

XingMing · 29/07/2018 19:49

It is simple laziness from the parents. You can't be bothered to discipline them, so let the world suffer your entitled brats. I bark!

Hanywany · 29/07/2018 20:13

Pookiedo spot on!Grin

RedDogsBeg · 29/07/2018 20:24

Here’s a nice shiny star for all the parents out there whose kids apparently always do as they are told 100% of the time

always said defensively, I wonder why.

Sauvignonne · 29/07/2018 20:25

My kids were in the trolley when they were small. Then when they got bigger they had to walk alongside me with one hand on the trolley. Then when they got old enough I would give them a particular item to look for on the shelves of the aisle we were in. I had no-one to leave them at home with and anyway I thought it was a good skill to learn. I bought the bulky boring stuff online.

And before anyone piles in with 'oh it must be great to be perfect' - it isn't difficult to talk to your kids, at home or when you're out in public and make them aware that they are just part of a bigger world. It just isn't hard.

RainbowBriteRules · 29/07/2018 20:27

It just isn’t hard But lots of people have said they do find it very very hard.

manicmij · 29/07/2018 20:31

Adults wandering about looking at phone, or chatting to someone whilst kids are running about yelling at one another, I have told someone that I thought I was in a supermarket, but seemed to have become lost as it is more like a playground with her children running wild. Even say an adult male kicking a football about with two kids. Also, at a checkout an assistant came up and asked if the two children emptying the shelves belonged to anyone in the queue. Woman being served said they were hers. Assistant brought the offenders to Mum who didn't even apologise for the mess. Kids just then ran off chasing one another waiting on the totally disinterested parent. The kids looked about 8 and 10. Scooters, roller blades, toy prams, bikes, skipping ropes,seen them all in stores. YANBU

bluebellsparklypants · 29/07/2018 20:36

There's a big chance they could get knocked over or knock into someone who isn't expecting a child to be running around regardless, I think it's sensible to keep young kids in the trolley/buggy in a supermarket (also it's much quicker to shop for parents if kids are contained)

PookieDo · 29/07/2018 20:44

Kids don’t have the ‘right’ to do any of these things in an inappropriate environment like shops just because they are kids, it is bordering on or is antisocial behaviour

I actually think it’s part of society now sadly that shopping has become some kind of family activity. All going shopping in town on a Saturday, can’t think of anything else to do? I only go to town if I actually need to get certain things, not as a stroll around with my children on scooters bored out of their minds while I buy vest tops in Primark

YouTheCat · 29/07/2018 20:59

I used to love taking dd window shopping in town when she was little. It was our time as ds (who is autistic and non-verbal) would go to the pub with his dad for a couple of hours. We would occasionally go to a museum or the cinema instead. Dd is also on the spectrum. She was never a pick of bother, never ran off etc. I accept that having a mooch around the shops where your focus is totally on your child is different though.

Lucyccfc · 29/07/2018 21:05

I got told off by some parents on a 7 hour night flight back from Qatar for waking them up. They both went to sleep and allowed their 3 year old to run up and down the aisle on the plane, shouting and poking people who were trying to sleep.

No one, including the staff said or did anything, so I took him back to his parents, woke them up and asked them to look after their child as he was running round and waking everyone up. The father responded by moaning that I had woken him up. I wasn't particularly polite back and told him that if he wasn't going to parent his ex-pat beat, then maybe he should have gotten the snip. Had most of the other passengers smiling though.

Just came back yesterday on a night flight from the US and a parent moved to another seat and went to sleep leaving her 2 kids (age about 7 and 4) sat behind me and my child. The youngest one kept kicking the back of my child's seat and banging the tray up and down. I had no issue with politely asking them to stop.

There were some lovely, well behaved children on the flight who's parents talked to them, engaged them and didn't allow them to Mia-behave. The vast majority of parents and children are great, it's just the odd few who have no idea or are lazy parents.

My friend had an accident while we were on holiday and ended up needing a wheelchair. Lots of children and teenagers opened doors for her and offered to move so we could get past. We made a big deal of saying thank you and telling their parents what lovely children they had.

Boulty · 29/07/2018 21:11

Nothing wrong with bashing rubbish/lazy parenting. If they are really badly behaved and you really cannot control them in a supermarket there is this great thing called online shopping.... try it. Or engage the children and get them to help.

YANBU the parents who cannot parent are being unreasonable.

manaftermidnight · 29/07/2018 21:30

Nothing wrong with bashing rubbish/lazy parenting

A lot wrong with it when you can't tell the difference between rubbish parents and children (or their parents) with additional needs.

YouTheCat · 29/07/2018 21:59

I'm quite good at spotting the difference between a parent struggling, children with additional needs and those people who just can't be arsed with their own kids.

QueenoftheSilverDollar12 · 29/07/2018 22:21

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FrauNeuer · 29/07/2018 22:30

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gandalf456 · 29/07/2018 22:39

Oh I hated them helping. They always put stuff in the trolley I didn't want or slowed the whole thing down.

The best thing for them to do is sit tight and let you get on with it with the promise of a treat afterwards.

I work in a shop and see too much of the Supernanny involvement technique. I see a lot of tantrums, too, where the parents try to give them a choice but don't want them to have Coco Pops for breakfast or yell at them for not choosing 2 for 1 offers. As if they'd know?

I also see a lot of impatient customers stuck behind someone right in the middle of the aisle trying to show their 5 yr old how to use the quick scan thing

Lethaldrizzle · 29/07/2018 22:44

So the aisle's not big enough for them to just walk around that 5 year old?

manaftermidnight · 29/07/2018 22:45

@manaftermidnight I was wondering when the ASN card was going to be playe

how offensive to the people whose daily lives you are demeaning as a "card to played". Disabilism at its finest.
Same for "its an excuse".

You're disgusting,

Baumederose · 29/07/2018 22:55

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gandalf456 · 29/07/2018 22:59

Not with the trolley parked diagonally and the mum standing to the side of it, no.

Lethaldrizzle · 29/07/2018 23:02

'Excuse me please'?

TheMonkeyMummy · 29/07/2018 23:04

Just to lighten the mood a little...

Spotted on social media and thought of this thread.

to be annoyed by people who let their kids run round supermarkets 'playing'
gandalf456 · 29/07/2018 23:08

Yes but I think it's just manners not to leave space to pass. It is possible to stop at the sides and I think showing a child is one thing but not on a Saturday lunchtime then wonder why people get stressed.

Personally I am used to it though have had enough by 6. It just surprises me how inconsiderate people csn be of other shoppers and they get worse the busier it gets.

I am not referring to parents specifically. There are loads of other exsmples such as those who haveca reunion and pile their trolleys down an aisle and have a chat or those who do half their shopping when they get to the till

Lethaldrizzle · 29/07/2018 23:10

Monkey - I've always thought that notice was gross