to be annoyed by people who let their kids run round supermarkets 'playing'

[ProperLavs]

Actually screaming and running into people.
I had an interesting 'conversation' with a woman when i muttered for someone to stop them screaming and running around. This woman, who didn't actually have anything to do with the kids, who were roughly 4 and 2, told me they were only playing.

I told her it was a very busy supermarket and they shouldn't be playing here
She then muttered about some people having to take their children shopping. I told her I had had to take all of mine (6 under 8) and no they were't ever allowed to run round screaming whilst I ignored them.
Wtf is wrong with people?

Rainbow
Because it removes the peer pressure and bullying over who has what nails, who has parents who'll let their 11 year olds have a face full of makeuo and acrylic nails etc.

One thing that always makes me is when I hear grown adults start going 'but who cares if they have trainers? Who cares if they... It's not like it affects their brain'. It's like listening to teenagers who want their own way.

I've worked in non uniform schools. Loved it. The major difference was the culture. I look at how our 6th formers dress (non uniform) vs how my IB class dressed at the non uniform school and compare it to attitude to learning. Non uniform school people came dressed to learn, focus was on academic achievement. Some of our 6th formers (also non uniform), tanned up, massive nails (one of mine before the summer was complaining because she couldn't type using her nails), silly slip on fluffy flip flops etc.

Anyway, I digress. The point is non uniform works when there is a culture of hard work and respect and parents who tell kids that they will behave in school etc. It doesn't work if you have a school where it's not Timmy's fault for disruptinf because he is spirited, Alice can wear her hair in neon blue braids because that's her creative side, yes Jim was violent to a teacher but the teacher must have provoked him, my child can run around supermarkets because they are kids, my boy shoved another child but 'boys will be boys'. There's a chunk of parents who are of the view that their child only has to follow the rules they feel like following when they feel like it. It is an attitude problem and a sense of entitlement. Then whole school rules, uniform and policy have to be designed around the idiots who can't grasp simple rules.

Not being allowed to wear Crystal nails is not a petty rule.

Not being able to wear socks over tights as was at my school, is a petty rule. It meant in the winter my feet got cold.

Children are not in charge. Adults are; although the bbc news story about that total moron on the train station makes me wonder.

I actually cba to break petty rules because it sets you up for a life of utterly pointless confrontation. If I'm going to break a rule it will be one that is wrong and may well be a big one! But it will be worth standing up for.

I have never, ever seen a child riding a bike or a scooter round a supermarket.

In terms of riding there I think that actually children need to learn to walk. A mile really isn't that far. It also isn't generational, MIL told me fairly early in my parenting journey that children 'won't walk'; I was .

But none of them are perfect. Supermarket is a nightmare as there's too much space, not enough confinement but not enough space to play (like a field where they can). I caught dd6 doing a cartwheel down an aisle recently. So maybe this thread is actually about me......

I get annoyed when parents allow their children to be annoying and then stare and sometimes glare at my 13 year old having a meltdown because of those kids being annoying.

My lo sometimes gets carried away but might rush to something on an aisle that we're both walking down. But never runs off or plays games. However I was there the other day and I saw two children rushing up the aisles and I realised I knew them. The mother couldn't even see where they'd gone!! I agree with you. They shouldn't be allowed

But never runs off

You do realise that some dc are naturally bolters and others aren't right...? I had one that was and one that wasn't. It had FA to do with parenting.

I'm not greatly bothered if am exuberant child is running around whilst I shop. It's not something that occurs often enough for me to see it as a societal problem. But then may be my attention is elsewhere, like feeding my family.

Children are not in charge. Adults are.

Hollow laugh. I know loads of parents who openly admit they do not feel that way. If you struggle with your child’s behaviour then you can feel at their mercy, especially on trips out to a supermarket. Society is set up so children are in charge now in many areas.

No society is not generally set up for children to be in charge @RainbowBriteRules. What ridiculous statement. Adults are still in charge and children want and need their known and trusted adults to put rules, boundaries and rewards in place for them, to allow them the best chance to be fully functioning members of society. What a ridiculous statement. 🙄
Unfortunately some parents don't see it that way, hence the discussion here about entitled behaviour where kids and parents don't believe the rules of society apply to them.

Mine never runs off because he never gets the chance to. The consequences of him doing so could be dangerous to himself and others.

You do realise that some dc are naturally bolters and others aren't right...? I had one that was and one that wasn't. It had FA to do with parenting
But then as another poster said, in trolley, on reins are options before they are big enough not to need them, sanctions after, bring them back etc. Sure some kids may be bolters, but I would expect a parent to parent the child if it happens.
I'd never be if a child makes a break for it or has a bit of a cry or tries it on. I get in shops when a child does those things and the parent stands back and allows it or does that silly 'noooo darling... noooo. Nooo we use our kind hands and sensible feet... nooo... darling... darling'.

The best one I saw was a kid having a massive tantrum over something she wanted and by the end of the tantrum, the mum had offered hwr something bigger than tje original item if she comes to the checkout. It was hella disruptive, mum had threatened to walk off and leave the child so thr nasty men would get them and it went on for ages. I remember thinking that child will be fun in their teens.

When a child is in the throws of a tantrum, they are often not equipped to make any decisions. That's why negotiating and cajoling just won't work. That's when you step up and make the choice for the child.

I look after a very challenging child. She would often refuse to come in at the end of playtime. I didn't give her any choice in the matter. I might have reminded her that she's going to miss something she enjoys in the class but I wouldn't start negotiations. It's not her choice to make. She doesn't really do it anymore. It took at least a month of playtimes but now she likes to race to at the front of the line instead.

One solution to the epidemic of marauding wild children invading and swarming the supermarkets aisles causing chaos in their wake is online shopping.

Yesterday I was in John Lewis.
Woman wondering around calling for "Sam", not shouting just calling.
Saying to her other child "stay with me, don't want you to disappear too"
Shop assistant said "there is a child over there, who seems to be alone"
Mother marches over, saying "that bloody child" and grabs a five? Year old by the arm and drags him out.

That "bloody child"?
Embarrassing her.
Nothing to do with the parenting of course...

I'm not sure why some posts seem upset at those of us who don't like to be in an environment of badly behaved children. It has taken years of hard work and grim determination to get my children to see that "no" means "no" and that there will be consequences if they test this. They are now happy and peaceful as we walk around shops and we laugh at the children and parents who can't seem to behave appropriately. Smug? Absolutely, because at times it took every ounce of patience and determination I had to enforce the boundaries to get them to this place. Yanbu. And lazy parenting is to blame - the indignation of some posters in response to this accusation is both disheartening and funny.

If you struggle with your child’s behaviour then you can feel at their mercy, especially on trips out to a supermarket.

And if you ‘struggle with your child’s behaviour’ to the extent that they may run into me as a pregnant lady or push into an elderly person, then that’s ok by you, simply because you’ve lost control, is it?

So everyone else should be at the mercy of shit parenting because you don’t want to be unpopular with your kids and pull them into line is basically how I interpret that.

I don’t think I’ve ever heard anything so ridiculous.

You can feel at their mercy. What an absolutely ridiculous thing to say. It's also not fair to make the rest of the world suffer the consequences of your shit parenting.
Tbh most of the kids I see running around don't seem to be uncontrollable. From their parents' reaction it seems they think their children have a right to behave like that.

Quite, I don't often see parents who simply can't control their offspring. What I see is: parents who won't even try; don't want to try; don't believe they should try; don't actually believe there is anything wrong with their off spring's shocking behaviour in the first place.

They are now happy and peaceful as we walk around shops and we laugh at the children and parents who can't seem to behave appropriately.

How lovely you and your children sound

We don’t laugh At poor parenting and badly behaved children but my kids are aware that what they are seeing is bad, ineffectual, selfish and an active choice by said parents to enable anti social behaviour . My kids are rightly disapproving of shit parenting and the consequences.
If a screaming toddler makes them cross I explain they they too did that.

They are now happy and peaceful as we walk around shops and we laugh at the children and parents who can't seem to behave appropriately

Yeah.. nothing to be proud of that.

"We laugh at the children and parents who can't seem to behave appropriately"

Laughing at people who behave differently is not a good thing to encourage.

What I see is: parents who won't even try; don't want to try; don't believe they should try; don't actually believe there is anything wrong with their off spring's shocking behaviour in the first place.
This ^^
Some children have challenging behaviour or additional needs or kids being kids and testing boundaries and you see parents dealing with it. Only total dickheads would be judgey of that.

The half arsed 'no delilah.. nooooo... but what happened when the lady saw you last time you ninja kicked a display when playing? Oh well... i'll let you carry on' types are being lazy parents (and often the ones who in secondary behaviour meetings will say 'yeaah that's just teens isn't it. Always glued to their phone. They never listen to us parents but what can you do eh? We've tried everything' but clearly haven't if their child has just been bought a brand new phone despite being a brat )
Equally the 'aww aren't they funny / cute' types are being lazy parents and it's worse when thry whip their phones out to video their child's hilarious behaviour

On another not , its good to see that the majority think that this behaviour is totally unacceptable

To the rest , you need to get used to saying no or I predict your life is going to be very hard when your little darlings get older