to be annoyed by people who let their kids run round supermarkets 'playing'

[ProperLavs]

Actually screaming and running into people.
I had an interesting 'conversation' with a woman when i muttered for someone to stop them screaming and running around. This woman, who didn't actually have anything to do with the kids, who were roughly 4 and 2, told me they were only playing.

I told her it was a very busy supermarket and they shouldn't be playing here
She then muttered about some people having to take their children shopping. I told her I had had to take all of mine (6 under 8) and no they were't ever allowed to run round screaming whilst I ignored them.
Wtf is wrong with people?

rainbow, I feel my generation of parenting is discouraged from saying no. So much pressure to make memories, enjoy family time and enjoy every second with your child. Lots of pressure from children around this time of year especially that they are going to have ) weeks of pure fun as it is school summer holidays. I have read loads of parenting advice and even a lot seems to say avoid saying no and find other ways to say it. It is a complete mine field and there is so much conflicting advice. I am going to try the short practice shopping trips though. My problem there is that DC1 will probably behave well enough to get the treat item. DC2 probably will not. Then they will fight over the item and the rest of the day will be awful. I’ll try it though.

That should say seeing kids, not weeing

Why not make the treat something that he gets at home? A hot chocolate or an extra story? Rewards are good but I wouldn't make it something that costs much. Hopefully, dc2 will see dc1 getting rewarded and want the same.

My best memories of the summer holidays are racing round in the park on my bike and being allowed to go to the library on my own. I realise things have changed rather a lot since the 70s and letting kids loose outside is often not an option. What all this crap about making memories doesn't say is that children need downtime too. That's what holidays are for - having a chill, reading, drawing, making strange contraptions out of cardboard, etc. Children shouldn't need constant adult input. How will they ever gain any self-confidence if they are micro-managed all their lives?

Yes that treat idea might work, thanks You. My kids play outside but that is a whole other thread (that I usually get flamed on!).

Hahaha making memories 😂

"Remember the time Gustav got his fingers ripped off on the luggage belt at Heathrow? Oh how we laughed. And that lady told us to behave and you gave her such a stare Cressida - you were really cross with her, weren't you."

Or "Remember the time Jayden took his BMX into Asda and crashed into the Carling display. Then we were escorted out by a nasty security guard and told not to come back?" That kind of thing?

Names have been changed to protect the ineffective.

I have to say that I felt like clapping a mum today who attempted to sit down with her two children in a cafe but as their behaviour quickly deteriorated, she quietly but sternly marched them out of the cafe as a consequence, apologised to the waiting staff for wasting their time, and didn't come back. I later saw her on the beach with some shop-bought sandwiches and the children playing happily. Nice one.

However, my original comment from yesterday still stands - the level of intolerance towards fellow parents on here is staggering, and I can't quite believe this doesn't somehow spill over into your own parenting. I'm optimistic this is a just cathartic outlet for spewing pent up anger and frustration about other people but, in my experience, attitudes that seem so deeply entrenched like those held by some poster on here always seem to rear their ugly heads in real life.

I'm not saying you're wrong to express opinions about this issue but I can't quite fathom why they have to be so vitriolic and personal. I might share your disapproval or dismay of how some people choose to parent their children, but it's not helpful to anyone to be this hurtfully judgemental without really knowing them in real life.

I’m heavily pregnant and had a little shit run into me in Boots this morning. Parents walking 6 paces ahead, no awareness at all.

I shouted at the boy to watch where he was going, then I thought, actually, the parents shouldn’t be off the hook that easily so I caught up with them and challenged them. I told them that they need to keep their --little shit-- child with them at all times as there are also disabled and elderly people in the store who have a right to walk around without fear of being toppled simply because they can’t be bothered to parent.

They looked at me, shrugged their shoulders, gave me a muted apology and kept on walking. Husband shuffled away in embarrassment...

I've definitely seen kids on bikes in supermarkets. One nearly crashed into me a while back and his mum just tutted and said something about him "only being little". He was on a bloody bicycle with no stabilisers. Who on earth thinks bikes should be ridden indoors?

I work in an airport and children on wheels are a massive nuisance (not counting wheelchair users, obviously. We do get the odd drunk adult mobility scooter user being a pest). I understand that kids get bored with all the waiting, but that doesn't make it okay for them to whizz brainlessly around an arrivals hall that's about to fill up with grumpy jetlagged people who don't always know where they're going. Scooters and heelys need banning from the indoor spaces, but there's no-one to enforce it so it won't happen.

There is no need to even take a pissing scooter to the airport, or the supermarket, or the shopping centre. Just leave the bloody thing at home so the situation doesn't arise. I saw a man the other day screaming blue murder at a little girl who'd nearly ridden one of those stupid balance bikes into a road, in the shopping precinct. I appreciate he was trying to parent her, but why even bring the bike if it's not safe to use there?

People bring bikes, scooters etc as t may be a long walk and much easier for children on a bike or scooter. Or they are going to the shop before or after school and so have their bikes and scooters. It’s over a mile to school. We bring scooters. Or maybe your child is a nightmare to get out of the house on foot but will come out on a bike. I’m sure there are other reasons too. Possibly the children want to bring a bike / scooter and the parents don’t feel they can say no.

But if they ate going to school and tehres time to luck about with scooters (and let's face it it takes longer) then there's time to shop when u drop them off.

Or you simply don't take them when you have to go shopping after.

Or you leave them.in the car boot

Its not always safe or practical to scooter or cycle anyway. you can surely get them out the house those days? What do parents do when they have to go to the hair dresser or dentist or swimming pool or vet or drs etc? Surely at some point you have to introduce the fact the bike or scooter cant be taken?

Possibly the children want to bring a bike / scooter and the parents don’t feel they can say no.

And therein lies the problem in a nutshell really.

@AmyRhodes, if any one of my sons had behaved so badly in public that someone else felt the need to bollock them, I would have a) felt ashamed that I hadn’t dealt with the behaviour more effectively, b) told the child that they deserved to be bollocked, and c) apologised to the other person and made my son apologise too.

Just to make it clear - I think that most parents do their best - none of us are perfect, and anyone can have a bad day. But letting your child use the supermarket as a playground is very different from a child making a bid for freedoms and escaping their parent for a moment or two.

No child needs to ride a bike or a scooter around the supermarket, and a parent who lets them, is an ineffective, poor parent. By all means let them ride to and from the shops - but chain the bike up outside, or fold the scooter and put it in the trolley. Ignore the whinges.

No child needs to use the straps and bars in an underground carriage as a climbing frame - if the train has to stop suddenly, they could get badly hurt. Tell them to sit down and behave, otherwise I will judge your parenting.

Possibly the children want to bring a bike / scooter and the parents don’t feel they can say no.

There we have it right there. SAY NO.

God almighty, it was a mile and a half to my school and my mum walked us there and back every day. I didn't always feel like it and nor did my sister, but we did it because, well, we just did!

Or let the child bring the bike/scooter to the supermarket, but insist that the bike is chained up outside or the scooter is folded and put in the trolley. Really not difficult.

Amy and if your child ran off and caused someone an injury you wouldn't expect them to bollock you or them ?? 😟

@franciscrawford

You have a legitimate reason for sounding off - it DID happen to you in real life. The point I was making was about posters making ad hominem comments about other posters' parenting based on the sole evidence of this forum, having never met them in real life.

DD when much younger: Mum, can I take my trike with me to the shops?
Me when younger: No sweetheart, you can go on it when we get home.

DD when much younger: Mum, can I have Heelys for my birthday please?
Me when younger: Hmm, we'll see. [Doesn't mention it again, buys other presents from enormous list of things DD has requested]

.....and the parents don’t feel they can say no.

Here's a parent who apparently didn't feel he could say no:

www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-wiltshire-44924264

No childneedsto ride a bike or a scooter around the supermarket, and a parent who lets them, is an ineffective, poor parent.

Same as no 13 year old girl needs acrylic nails and they are categorically banned in the school uniform policy (and reminders go out each term to parents, and tutors say it, and heads of year say it in assembly, and it's in the journal, and it's on the website) but some parents still insist on letting their children get them. Then they get cross at the school when we say removed in 24 hours or you're in isolation for defiance. Then the usual 'but they're just nails. You're ruining their education'. Nope. It's defiance. The rules are clear. The child is willingly breaking them and you as a parent are enabling defiance.

But that is what is so annoying Maisy. They are just nails. Why on earth can’t they have them except for it being the rules.

If you have a load of pointless petty rules people will break them just to prove a point, or end up completely ground down. I want my kids to have the confidence to remove their blazers in 30 degree heat before they keel over, whatever the rules say.

Rainbow - so what's the alternative we just don't bother with rules and everyone just does what they want!!?? There's a massive difference between breaking the rules for fashion and breaking the rules on health grounds. It isn't necessary for kids to wear false nails to school- what benefit is it to their education? After all that's why they go to school isn't it??

Well I perhaps shouldn’t have brought up the blazer issue as it is a subject for another thread. There is no benefit to their education but unless I am missing something really obvious there is no detriment either, unless they are so long they can’t do DT or something. Kids go to school for far more than just an academic education.

I think you need to know which rules to follow and which rules to break.

I sort of agree but don't mind so much in the toy aisle or kids clothing areas. not to the extent of running wild of course but its kind of their area.