Telling SIL to not smoke before coming over

[CorrsIsMyGuiltyPleasure]

More of a WWYD. SIL is a smoker and myself and my husband aren't. I sent her a friendly message asking her to not smoke before coming over to visit DC. She seemed offended but obliged but my baby my rules right?

theveryhighlife- I forgot that people on the internet knew my whole life story! Silly me! 🤦‍♀️
You wouldn't let someone with whooping cough, cough over you and your kids would you? Just trying to protect my little one 🙂

What does whooping cough have to do with it 😆
I still think you're unreasonable and you did ask.
Probably not the best category to have chosen if you don't want people to disagree with you!

Bonkers. YABU.
Multiple name-change mistakes OP.

Sorry. I'm a non smoker but still think YABU you can't tell people what to do outside of your home. Yes you can ban smoking in your house and ask your sister not to smoke around your baby if you are out together.
Your baby is 18 months old and if you take them out they will be around smokers at some point.

YANBU, your house your rules, smoking is vile.

Right ok, I've the answer, buy a hazmat suit and keep it at the door. Make folks wear it when they come in. On the rare occasion anyone wishes to that is...

Is it a crime to have multiple accounts 🤣
It was more of a WWYD and it's okay if people don't agree with me.
My point about the whopping cough was if I wanted DC to smell like an ash tray I would take her to the pub I wouldn't want someone to come to my house and bring something unwanted to me!

Ur bubz etc.

Out here in the real world you are unreasonable though.

I suspect SIL won't lament the extra space.

OP I totally get it and think you're right. And yes, if a smoker smokes before holding your baby, your baby will smell of smoke. smokers never appreciate quite how much they smell of smoke nor how much it lingers. Disgusting.

Bluntless good idea 🤣🤣

It was more of a WWYD and it's okay if people don't agree with me

Why because it gives you the opportunity to call them "dickheads"?

Tabatha- exactly right just like when people eat tuna sandwiches, that person may love it but others may not be fond of the smell haha.

If I were her I think I'd be happy for the excuse not to see you again.

Dljlr No one forces anyone to come over. If she really is offended then I dont care. But she seems to be fine as she arranged to come over later this week. People really seem to exaggerate the story more than what is written on MN.

I'm going to be honest: if your passive aggressive posting style is anything to go by, you wouldn't need to worry about me stinking your house out, because you wouldn't be able to drag me inside!

I grew up with a father who smoked and I had asthma, never did me any harm. You can’t ask someone not to smoke unless it’s actually on your property.

I think your request is fine, but then I'm a non-smoker and I don't think many smokers realise just how much they stink (and I can still smell smoke on people hours after they've had a cigarette. My DP used to smoke and after he told me he had quit thought he could be clever and change clothes/brush teeth after having a cigarette several hours previously. I could always smell it through his breath).

Likewise she's perfectly entitled to tell you to go do one.

Just buy a plastic bubble for your baby so people may admire it from afar.

never did me any harm

And there it is.

I can see both sides as an ex smoker!

But I remember worrying about mil when I had dds as she would like up outside take a few drags then peck it out and put it in her pocket! It fucking reeked!
(She would also and still does smoke in her car with the windows up )

She was asked not to smoke before she came

For the record, midwives advise against allowing smokers near a baby for 40 mins or so and only after washing hands, brushing teeth and changing clothes.

OP- we said much the same to my SIL. She visits rarely as she lives too far away but I had no issue with putting my baby first. The same SIL had form for smoking right next to me when I was pregnant and blowing the smoke towards me. Selfish smoker attitude.

Tabathatwitchett I was waiting for that response as well.

When I had my DD, the midwives said to not let anyone hold her if they've had a cigarette within the last half hour.

I've upped that to an hour personally. I just tell people that's what we've been told.

They probably think that in a bit OTT but it's worth it for my peace of mind!

You can't stop people from having a cigarette before, but you can control when they hold your DC

I wish I could tell smokers to not smoke before going anywhere near me, never mind a baby.

Get a cigarette smoker, especially someone who has just had a fag, sitting next to you on public transport and it is absolutely revolting. You utterly stinky bastard.

I wish there were smell censors to prevent you from going on trains and buses if you stink.