to ask how much you enjoy motherhood and what are ages/genders of your children?

[beclev24]

Recently I've been feeling that motherhood can be a bit of a slog. I have 3 DC, all boys. I adore them all but the days tend to feel fraught with breaking up fights/ dealing with mood swings/ managing their behaviour etc on top of all the day to day stuff like cleaning/ washing / cooking etc. I rarely feel relaxed around them and always feel "on duty."

I'm interested to know if there is any correlation between how many kids people have and their ages and genders and how much people enjoy being parents on a day to day basis. I'm not talking about how much people love their kids- I think most of us do. I'm talking about the day to day experience of it and how much it feels like a joy, and how much a slog or a challenge. Would love to hear other peoples' experiences.

Im 45 and have 5 boys.23,22,10,8 AND 7.I find it a slog,because they are killing each other.[The younger 3].

Its brilliant and i love it when they get along.But overall i love it.

I'm 36 with a 3 year old boy and 7 month girl. I love them immensely and am glad I had them but I don't love all parts of being a Mum. Yes parts of it are amazing and mind-blowing but to be honest I find a lot of it very boring, stressful and exhausting. I woke up this morning desperately looking forward to bedtime as I knew I had a lot (hot!) day all on my own with the 2 of them. I used to love having lots of time on my own to read, study, pursue hobbies like sewing and gardening. Now all that time is filled with childcare and to be honest I do sometimes wonder why the heck I wanted this so badly 🤷‍♀️

I'm early 40's.

Dd1 is 16.
Dd2 is 13.
Ds is forever 10.

I love being a mum. Miss being a mum of three.

I’m sorry muddling. For all my moaning I know if I lost them the hole in my life would be immense

We have 1 dd through choice and no, we don't feel guilty.

We have an absolute ball. She is a joy and has always been well behaved. Not a stepford child by any means, quite eccentric really, but very kind and caring.

We get to spend a lot of quality time together.

it's stressful but I couldn't imagine doing anything else. I love it. I'm 26 and my daughter is nearly 9. I would say my favourite age is about 3. when they still have those few mornings a week a nursery so you get a little break but young enough to still need you.

I’m just clinging on to my early 40s - may have drifted into mid! I’ve three daughters - 13,10 and 7. To be very honest I find being a Mum easy, I always did. The only way I think to describe it is in the same way people describe a job that they’re very good at — I find it easy, enjoyable and I don’t really stress over it.

Some other parents/friends would maybe say I’m a bit stricter than they are. Not with bedtimes/screen times/going out but I’ve always told them off for misbehaving, I don’t feel the need to explain every “no you’re not allowed” decision, I or their dad make the decisions not them. I don’t talk parenting to death. If they fight, they are told to sort it out now or if they want to ignore each other that’s fine. As long as their moods don’t hurt anyone else they can relax, have a bit of a moan etc in their room.

DD17 almost 18. Enjoyed 90% of being a mum and have a great relationship with DC as does DH.
Age 15 was the worst but I remember the saying what doesn't kill you makes you stronger.
We're all very strong now

Very interesting thread!

I have a 2 year old and a 3.5 year old. Both boys. It’s a real slog right now. The moment my back is turned they are killing each other. It’s impossible to get anything done around the house, and the 3 year old doesn’t seem to listen to a word I say!. I do enjoy it more if I get one to one time with them, but this rarely happens as I’m either working or looking after them both.

I do consider myself very lucky though. We had fertility issues and did ivf for ds1. Ds2 was a surprise who arrived 16 months after ds1. That doesn’t stop me finding it difficult and relentless though!

I’m hoping it gets easier as they get older...maybe I’m deluded!

I'm a SP to 2 boys 16 and 14.

I love being a SP to them and we have a good vibe in the house. My favourite part of every day is sitting down for dinner with them. I work FT and have always made sure we have dinner together every night. We have fun, we talk things through and the connection we have warms the cockles of my heart every day. We are one of those families that talks about everything and anything and its sprinkled with piss taking ( and swearing )

Although, post GCSEs DS16 is here a little less often and that makes me a little sad. I'm so happy he is independent and enjoying life but I miss him.

I have twin DS, 16yo. I am pleased they are growing up is all I can say!

I’m 42 and have a DS (8) and DD (6). I found the baby and toddler years a soul sucking drudge of mess and boredom despite having a lot of help. I enjoy it a lot more now that they are developing into people with more defined personalities and interests.

It’s weird because I’d die for them without hesitation but I just don’t really enjoy parenting. A couple of people have said they think I’ll hit my parenting stride in the pre-teen/teenager years so maybe the best is yet to be.

I'm 32 with a 9 month old DS. I love the bones of him but I won't be having any more.

He is only happy sleeping in my arms, and I've been trying to change this for ages. I'm going back to work in 2 months and have been trying in earnest to get him napping in his cot but he screams the minute he's put down. I'm covered in scratches and bruises because he's a wee livewire. He's going through big separation anxiety and screams every time I leave the room. He's a dear wee man but I couldn't do this again.

I look at these babies who nap in their cots and sleep 7-7, and sit calmly in their prams while their mums chat and think HOW?

I have 3 DS aged 13,10,7 and am really enjoying this stage of motherhood.

I found the early days pretty relentless and I'm not looking forward to the teenage stages but at the moment it's pretty good fun (although way too much of my time is spent on laundry, cooking, cleaning and running then to all their clubs). I think I am lucky as mine all mostly get on well with each other.

I have one daughter who is one next month. She's amazing and the best thing that's ever happened to me, absolutely adore motherhood about 98% of the time.

I’m mid 40s, dd 10 & 6. I don’t enjoy motherhood at all. I’m permanently knackered, acting as a bouncer, kids falling out and they don’t get on at all. Youngest has behavioural issues which means it’s constantly hard work. If I had my time over again I’d not be a mum

Oh and I'm 22.

i have 2 primary aged kids. 1 girl, 1 boy.

I love them very much, but given my time over again, I wouldn't have kids. Motherhood doesn't fulfil me like other things do. Everything is so hard, and we're so skint. Nothing is any fun. I miss fun.

I have 4 children, 2 girls 30 and 28 and two boys 23 and 21. I have loved every day with them. My favourite time of year was always the summer holidays (and yes I have worked full time).

Eldest never slept - still doesn't much but is a new mum after some lost babies. Estranged from 2nd daughter. 3rd has autism. 4th is very close to eldest. The most interesting thing I have ever done.

I have 4 children. 3 amazing wonderful DDs and 1 DS who was born asleep. I also have 3 grandchildren and a step grandson. Can't believe how much I love them all. Being a mum has been a gift and a privilege. And at times a complete head fuck. But I wouldn't change a thing apart from wanting my DS to be here with us all. I miss him everyday. Having grandsons is turning out to be an amazing experience though - so so different from raising girls, and I'm hugely enjoying it.

Two boys, age 7 & 10. I really enjoy and am happy with motherhood (though it’s just one facet of what makes me «me»).

But I have:

No money worries - we are not rich, not poor but we have enough as long as we cut our cloth etc
A DH who pulls his weight, is a great dad and our marriage is strong.
No job / childcare hassles - I live in France where state childcare is great, I’ve been able to be a SAHM and a part time, school hours job has just fallen into my lap.
Great, helpful parents who love my boys to bits - ditto for PIL though they’re getting on a bit
No SEN or any other developmental / disability / mental health issues with the boys

I Imagine that if i had to handle any of the above, I’d find it all a bit harder going.

I’m 25 and have 2 boys aged 3 and 6 months. I adored being a mum to ds1. I was young but loved his company and was proud to have him. I love ds2 equally as much but I am not enjoying being a mum of 2. I feel inadequate at parenting both of them. I feel I’ve let ds1 down by not being as good a parent as I was before. I feel guilty about how I feel about ds2.
I didn’t expect my early 20s to be spent exclusively around small children cleaning up, washing, feeding babies, changing nappies. I don’t regret having them but it wasn’t until ds2 was born that I felt I was missing out on anything.
I feel guilty writing this.

Also for info I am married and work full time plus an extra job at nights on my days off.

Some tough and powerful experiences. for everyone feeling the strain.

OP what made you ask? Are you researching this area?

I do agree that the number of children you have must play a part in most cases? Or maybe that's just my perception.

I am also an introvert and find it tough enough with 1 child. That is the perfect (if any!) number for me. Any more than that would tip me over the edge into insanity. I 100% know I couldn't cope, especially if I had another precocious child. My child is brilliant, but totally draining.

Maybe if I had a super laid back baby/child, I could cope with another, but I cannot take that risk.