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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Comment from director at work

153 replies

Karting1967 · 25/07/2018 06:27

Yesterday evening one of the directors at work emailed me to do something. Clearly it could have waited till today but it only took 10 minutes, I had my laptop out anyway plus it was more convenient to do it there and then as I’ll be out of the office most of today.

His reply (copied to the other 3 directors) was “Watch TV and do this tomorrow! Thanks anyway you nutter!”

Am I overreacting to think that was an unnecessary comment?

OP posts:
cloudtree · 25/07/2018 06:28

Confused I think he was trying to be nice and you're being massively over sensitive.

StealthPolarBear · 25/07/2018 06:29

I think he was worried you'd assumed he was expecting you to do it then and there. He should have made that clear in his original email but I suppose he wasn't expecting you to see it.

NonaGrey · 25/07/2018 06:31

Perhaps he was embarrassed that he’d caused you to work in the evening?

He recognised that you’d gone above and beyond to the other directors - that’s not a bad thing.

MissusGeneHunt · 25/07/2018 06:31

I think it was him trying to be nice and reminding you of your work life balance. Maybe he could have chosen his words more carefully but in essence I think he was trying to be jovial...

ellesbellesxxx · 25/07/2018 06:32

Ahh I read that as him being impressed and grateful you had done it so soon.. but that he hadn’t expected it

aaarrrggghhhh · 25/07/2018 06:32

Massively overreacting. He was being nice and wanted to make it clear that he didn't expect you to do it at night. Cripes.

Watda · 25/07/2018 06:32

Definitely overthinking imo. Whilst he shouldn’t have called you a nutter, I do think he was trying to be nice and praise you for going above and beyond.

newdaylight · 25/07/2018 06:32

You're not overreacting you think its an unnecessary comment

Does every comment have to be necessary though? Conversation would be a little boring if so.

I can't see anything wrong with it.

Melliegrantfirstlady · 25/07/2018 06:32

Nutter? I think that’s rude tbh

TigerDroveAgain · 25/07/2018 06:32

I wouldn’t make the nutter comment but would say: thanks! But just why are you working now? In fact it’s exactly the sort of thing I’d say to my team. If I knew someone was v conscientious I’d say “Bob, this can wait until the morning, just asking now while I remember “. So YABU

BlueBug45 · 25/07/2018 06:33

You are being over sensitive.

He was telling you to do it tomorrow not that evening so you didn't continue working.

Employers are responsible for the mental as well as physical health of their employees at work, and it is appears some of the people who you work with don't think you take enough down time.

AudreyBillingham · 25/07/2018 06:33

It's maybe a bit oddly informal (depending on your workplace culture) but it sounds like he was trying to be nice.

LineRunner · 25/07/2018 06:34

I'd raise an eyebrow at receiving that, yes.

LineRunner · 25/07/2018 06:36

Employers are responsible for the mental as well as physical health of their employees at work

Bit ironic he used the term 'nutter', then.

andadietcoke · 25/07/2018 06:37

He's setting expectations, and by sharing with the other directors he's highlighting you going above and beyond, and also putting on the record that he's not encouraging work after hours.

I think it's fine. The 'nutter' bit is the only questionable part but I think he's just being friendly.

I used to send emails to my team after hours and was horrified when it led to them working in the evening so now I put a delayed send on them so there's no risk of that.

Tarlu · 25/07/2018 06:39

Did you do the thing immediately or not do the thing immediately? You did? - then he was grateful I think.

I said to a man once, are you doing my job you nutter? because he'd done a part of my job that I hate. I meant it gratefully but also I didn't want to be chalked down as lazily pushing the responsibility for that on to him iyswim. Although we are colleagues not boss/employee

Jenijena · 25/07/2018 06:40

If I see members of my team working out of hours or responding late, I’ll call them on it too. I need them to be at their best during the working day. It works both ways though, they tend to tell me the same ;)

The nutter was a bit weird but I think affectionately/nicely meant...

Original poster
Karting1967 · 25/07/2018 06:42

I’m a senior manager in the business so surely I can be expected to manage my own time and workload. Yes it was obvious it could have waited but it made more sense to do it there and then for the reasons mentioned above.

Part of his request involved one of the other directors doing something which he also chose to do last night. He got a “Thanks” - no nutter mentioned,

OP posts:
StealthPolarBear · 25/07/2018 06:44

Yes I agree, I work in a flexible role and I can't bear it when people try to control when I work. It's infantilising.

StealthPolarBear · 25/07/2018 06:45

I also enjoy my job.

LotsToThinkOf · 25/07/2018 06:47

I think the expectation of another director is different, they should be working in non-work hours if the company requires something. You aren't expected to carry out work in your own time, hence the comment which was supposed to be funny to highlight that you shouldn't be working out of hours

YABU, that comment is fine.

Original poster
Karting1967 · 25/07/2018 06:49

Yes I don’t want to worry about when I choose to do stuff in case of similar comments. It was 8:30 not midnight. And I won’t get time to do it today as I’ll be out so it would have been pointless and more stressful to leave it.

OP posts:
Truckingonandon · 25/07/2018 06:49

If you're a senior manager, you really should be able to gauge how to respond to an email like this. It's hardly a complex, multi-faceted problem. You must have far more pressing issues to focus on and you must received much more head-scratching emails.

Original poster
Karting1967 · 25/07/2018 06:50

But why shouldn’t I be working out of hours? I’m a senior manager too, not an office junior. I’m also customer facing so expect to have to respond to customers after hours.

OP posts:
EmmaC78 · 25/07/2018 06:52

Sorry I am with Trucking. Why are you even worrying about this?!