Comment from director at work

[Karting1967]

Yesterday evening one of the directors at work emailed me to do something. Clearly it could have waited till today but it only took 10 minutes, I had my laptop out anyway plus it was more convenient to do it there and then as I’ll be out of the office most of today.

His reply (copied to the other 3 directors) was “Watch TV and do this tomorrow! Thanks anyway you nutter!”

Am I overreacting to think that was an unnecessary comment?

“Ahh I read that as him being impressed and grateful you had done it so soon.. but that he hadn’t expected it”

This.

But now I know from this thread that there are people who get all up in a heap about this sort of friendly, jokey appreciative comment I will revert to entirely formal language and etiquette with my staff.

FFS, talk about over-thinking.

Reall? Really? Stop it. Stop looking for things to be offended about. He's asked you to do something. You've done it. He's grateful and surprised you've done it so quickly and is thanking you.

I would have replied "Its already done, you big fat twat" in my head

I don’t think it’s friendly and jokey, I think it’s condescending.

He could make a joke about it the following day in the office, why email then and cc 3 other directors in? Couldn’t a simple thank you suffice?

All he’s doing is trying to cover his own arse so that it doesn’t look as though he’s overworking you.

If the 3 other directors were already part of this email chain I digress, however I do think the comment itself is more condescending than it needs to be.

This isn’t a friend, it is a director at work so the language used needs to be professional and not insulting and condescending jokey.

Most of the posters here sound like they’d be a lovely lot to work with

Do you always spend energy like this on analysing 'throw-away' comments? It's obvious that this was affectionately intended, despite the use of the word 'nutter'. This isn't some hidden reprimand is it? 🙄

If you insert 'daft sod', 'muppet', 'numpty' or any other 'affectionally meant' remark in place of 'nutter', would you still be offended? People say these things all the time! Get a grip!

@Fivelittleduckies it depends ENTIRELY on the workplace culture! Not every workplace is 'properly formal'.

That's a nice comment, meant to show he wasn't expecting you to see it until 9:00 the next morning.

This will do you good rather than otherwise.

I would have replied "Its already done, you big fat twat"

@chaffymcchaff indeed - and I totally get that. However the mere fact that the OP feels it is inappropriate tells me that this workplace is not like that.

You ask If you insert 'daft sod', 'muppet', 'numpty' or any other 'affectionally meant' remark in place of 'nutter', would you still be offended?

In a work context? Yes. I would find it inappropriate for a director to use any of these terms in speaking to me. I genuinely find it disrespectful within a professional work context.

I think the 'nutter' comment was meant affectionately (and not in a romantic affection way). DP's family, all boys, constantly josh each other like that, often in stronger terms! It's a weird kind of inverted bonding thing. Can be quite a shock for women coming into the family, especially if they haven't had brothers.

I'd take the whole thing as a compliment - he cc'd the other directors after all - and that he sees you as part of the team. Though for his own sake he should be more careful about the kind of language he uses at work. But hey maybe he was tired himself.

This kind of thing is fairly common where I work. It's a close, friendly team (with one or two exceptions!) and the CEO expects us to work hard - but not at the expense of our families/ leisure time. I wouldn't think twice about it tbh. I think it's a sign of a nice, appreciative working environment.

I agree with you, OP. It comes across as condescending.

It's ok for him to work out of hours, and it's ok for the other (male) director to work out of hours, but when you do it you get ridiculed.

He's treating you as a junior staff member who's working hours he dictates, instead of a senior manager who's capable of managing her own time.

I hope you clocked it and don't do that again, OP. It was jovial but it had meaning.

Are you in the habit of leaping to do things very promptly? I used to do that and it can be a tactical error. Far from looking efficient, it can make you (general) look as if you're looking around for something to do, that you haven't anything better to do and that you're desperate to please. Lethal.

In addition, in providing something so quickly you reduce the value of it. The fact that the speed and efficiency is down to experience is glossed over.

I've done this before - never again. I might do something straight away but I calculate a reasonable time for them to expect it - and send it maybe 10 minutes before that point, no sooner. Over-delivered, under-promised... with years and years of people-pleasing before that.

You obviously feel a bit 'off' about it because you've corrected read that comment as a pseudo-compliment.

Massive over reaction on your part.

^Employers are responsible for the mental as well as physical health of their employees at work

Bit ironic he used the term 'nutter', then.^

< that. Can't stand MH related insults.

Otherwise the comment was fair enough imo, albeit informal. I've jokingly said 'Oi, what are you doing working at this hour' type things to colleagues before, and they have said the same to me. I do freelance work when I can/ feel like it, would be mortified if anyone felt they had to respond there and then to an e-mail at 10pm.

....Wonders if this is the Mum from a few days who argues head teachers should be contactable all holidays. Attempt at a reverse?

He was tying to say nicely that it wasn’t urgent that night. Do you have a reputation for being a work aholic? I’m sure it’s all in good fun.

Calling someone a nutter is about as offensive as calling them a silly sausage

Grow up

Question for everyone having a dig at the OP...

Would this response have been appropriate if the OP had emailed her director with that when he first sent her the work request?

If she had said “What are you doing working at this time of night, you nutter?!” Or something to that effect?

Yabu. Very.

OP, please can you clarify the part of the message you think is inappropriate?

My first reaction from your OP was that you'd taken offence at the suggestion you would be watching TV if you weren't working.

People have picked up on the word nutter and have suggested it might be that.

But from your follow up posts, it seems that it might be more to do with the fact that directors are expected to be working in the evenings but you're not, and you don't agree that the expectations placed on you and the directors should be different.

Fivelittleduckies, is my post coming across as a pop at the OP? It really isn't intended that way; I bloody wish that somebody had done a 'word to the wise' thing for me when I was younger.

I was an inordinate and totally enthusiastic people-pleaser and I cringe now. It never does make people think well of you and, the less nice ones, use that to their advantage.

I learned my new 'skill' watching people who didn't care, do the minimum and deliver 'just in time'. I modified that for myself to 'aloof, competent and utterly reliable', or that's what I'm trying to do. That and keeping colleagues as colleagues, no more than that.

Oh my, it was just friendly acknowledgment you’d done something when it’s your own time. Just friendly for goodness sake.

My DC are mid-20s, and both regularly respond to emails/texts out of working hours, if they are available to do so. They're keen and building their careers.

Nice to have it acknowledged.