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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Comment from director at work

153 replies

Karting1967 · 25/07/2018 06:27

Yesterday evening one of the directors at work emailed me to do something. Clearly it could have waited till today but it only took 10 minutes, I had my laptop out anyway plus it was more convenient to do it there and then as I’ll be out of the office most of today.

His reply (copied to the other 3 directors) was “Watch TV and do this tomorrow! Thanks anyway you nutter!”

Am I overreacting to think that was an unnecessary comment?

OP posts:
RB68 · 25/07/2018 12:30

He needs to learn to set his emails to send in the am whenever he is working late

Strippervicar · 25/07/2018 12:33

I wonder whether he was trying to put you back in your box, OP?
I wasn't a senior manager, more technical, but this happened to me once. I had managed to book christmas off and due to a restructure by christmas there was no one cross trained to do my work whilst I was away. The woman who I was supposed to cross train could barely operate a printer and she hated me so refused to be trained. Then she found out she couldn't have christmas off and refused to speak to me for three weeks.
So, I took a laptop (with director's permission) and did the work from home as soon as I could for reporting to go out in the morning. All she had to do was email it on.
She complained and sent emails to every director saying she couldn't send the emails and she had no training.
I got a disciplinary and was banned from ever taking a laptop home again. All for sending an email at 3am whilst trying to help.
The director quoted "at your level." at me.

Tldr, director felt threatened. If he had a big problem he'd have had you in an office not sent a 'jokey' email. And yes, he sounds like a tool.

HermioneGoesBackHome · 25/07/2018 12:38

directors in the OP's company are expected to put in extra hours whereas managers aren't.

Sorry but that made me laugh.
I have yet to see a company where managers aren’t supposed to outbthe hours or aren’t held acciuntabkw to get their job done.
In that case, the OP KNEW she couldn’t do it the day after so did it when it was convenient for her.
I’m pretty sure said director would have been pissed off if she hadn’t ‘dare’ working at 8.30pm but hadn’t done it the day after either.

Somwhilst i wouod never advise anyone to work out if hours/at home etc on a regular basis, I also think that at that level, it’s up to you to organise your time.

Trinity66 · 25/07/2018 12:40

Bloody hell most people would be happy they have a boss like that :/

catlady34 · 25/07/2018 12:41

He's being nice YABU

lisahpost · 26/07/2018 17:30

he sounds like he was being nice in a joking way letting you know he didn’t expect it done then in your spare time .
Over reaction much !

Suebreo · 26/07/2018 17:33

Park it, your over thinking it. You are a good employee and I am sure you are valued. Smile

Scarletrose28 · 26/07/2018 17:36

I think his comment was spot on. Why were you working so late and where is your sense of work/life balance? Working late and disregarding your family commitments isn’t something to be praised. It’s the sort of thing that creates a barrier for career progression for those employees who do need to attend to their family commitments. So good for your director and be thankful he’s with your organisation.

Clandestino · 26/07/2018 17:49

FFS, get a grip. He was trying to be nice,.
Probably failed because you are so stuck up your own self-important senior manager arse you can't take a joke.

bluebeck · 26/07/2018 17:51

YABU and over reacting.

supersop60 · 26/07/2018 17:51

Sounds jokey and informal to me. I call people 'nutter' all the time. People that I like and get on with.

butlerswharf · 26/07/2018 17:53

I think you're massively overreacting. That was a friendly response.

PowerPantsRule · 26/07/2018 17:58

God I feel like I am from another planet when I read these replies. He was being NICE!! What are we coming to when people think he is not being PC ...everyone is so senstive nowadays. The poor bloke cannot win - if he was authoritative he would be criticised for bullying!

How does anyone get anything done when they're so busy over-analysing and judging??

pandarific · 26/07/2018 18:34

I think it's a bit unfair to say with absolutely certainty that the op needs to get a grip / is being ridiculous.

The intent behind the message from the director is good obviously, for all the reasons people have said. However, the delivery of the message, with all of the other directors cced is a bit clumsy - it's coded clearly in it that she's considered subordinate and yes, she is less senior but it's a tad patronising. Not the end of the world and kindly meant, but it's a bit tone deaf and as a senior manager vs an office junior I'd be a little niggled by it too.

TheFormidableMrsC · 26/07/2018 18:46

For God's sake, what a massive overreaction. This is half the trouble in the world these days, everybody is terminally offended by every comment. You wouldn't have lasted five minutes with the senior partner at the practice I worked at for many years. The things he used to say to me...BUT...we had a great working relationship and it was affectionate and jovial and meant as such! You could, of course, make a massive thing about it and complain and make him feel a prick, or you could just give as good as you get in a similar vein. Dear God, sometimes you just have to lighten up!

LipstickHandbagCoffee · 26/07/2018 19:02

He used a light hearted colloquialism,And you’re really overthinking it

Shitonthebloodything · 26/07/2018 19:02

If it weren't for mumsnet, I'd never believe people read so much into light-hearted comments. This is so much of whats wrong in the world.

Tistheseason17 · 26/07/2018 19:04

Clearly said in jest.

Mountain and molehill spring to mind....

LipstickHandbagCoffee · 26/07/2018 19:04

I volunteered to complete complex outstanding report
Got emails saying you’re mad! It was good humoured that’s all

HeffalumpsnWoozles · 26/07/2018 19:26

I get this if i respond to emails out of hours, it’s my bosses way of telling me to forget about work and relax.

I think you’re overthinking and taking offence where none was meant, sounded quite light hearted to me.

MrsSarahSiddons · 26/07/2018 19:31

The phrase "no good deed goes unpunished" comes to mind. He was trying to be nice and you are massively overthinking this. YABVVVVVU.

Awhoosh · 26/07/2018 20:04

I think he may have meant it well? but I don’t think it was a great email OP. I’m with you.

Commonpeoplelikeme · 26/07/2018 20:08

You seem like hard work. Part of senior management is having a thick skin and knowing when to draw the line when it comes to banter and humour. He didn’t cross it in my opinion.

manicmij · 26/07/2018 20:09

Take it he was grateful for you responding so quickly.

bringbacksideburns · 26/07/2018 20:13

You sound like the kind of person I'd walk on eggshells around!

I'm sure he didn't mean to belittle or insult you!