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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to not move from this seat?

281 replies

Namechangerr2018 · 23/07/2018 09:53

Hi all, I’m a regular poster that’s nc because I don’t want people to find me irl.

So today I was traveling into work on the DLR and the front seat became available (you can see where this is going). I took my chance and sat there because it’s quite frankly fun.

Next stop a family gets on and the DS starts having a tantrum because he can’t sit there (bear in mind it’s getting really full up).

His DM asked if I could move but as my hip was hurting I replied that I could not as I can’t stand for long journeys.

WIBU? Hmm

OP posts:
reallybadidea · 23/07/2018 09:55

Not in the slightest. You're probably doing them a favour if they're in thrall to a 4 year old's demands.

deenagh · 23/07/2018 09:56

Nope, you were there first and kids can't just get what they want because they throw a tantrum. I'd never ask someone to move just because DS wanted to sit there.

AnyaChristinaEmmanuellaJenkins · 23/07/2018 09:56

if there is nowhere else to sit - then no
do you get to sit in the front often?

the ds should have been 'managed' as in you dont get to assume that you will always get what you want

the DM WNBU to ask, and YWNBU to not move

Liverbird77 · 23/07/2018 09:56

You were certainly not being unreasonable. They shouldn't have even asked. It is a learning opportunity for the kid. You can't always have your own way.

KellyBailey · 23/07/2018 09:56

YWNBU. Doesn't do kids any harm to learn the world doesn't revolve around them and hear the word No sometimes. You had a need for a seat and might not have easily been able to find another empty one.

Wadewilson · 23/07/2018 09:57

If you can stand and there were no other seats then yanbu
If you could've moved to a different seat then possibly yabu, but it isn't like you refused to give a priority seat to a disabled person or heavily pregnant woman so I'd still say yanbu tbh.

Could the child not have sat next to you with his parents stood there or was there no room?

Wadewilson · 23/07/2018 09:58

can't stand even

9amTrain · 23/07/2018 09:58

YWNBU!!

wellBeehivedWoman · 23/07/2018 09:58

YWNBU and honestly the woman was rude to ask you to move for her son - she should be teaching him that he can't always get what he wants!

Stalmida · 23/07/2018 09:58

No and I think it's quite cheeky of the parent to ask. Sounds like it'll do the kid some good not to get his own way after throwing a tantrum.

GreenTulips · 23/07/2018 10:00

I wouldn't have moved either!

Tough luck!

IfYouDontImagineNothingHappens · 23/07/2018 10:00

You are both fine to ask and decline.
It wasn't a demand and you were happy to stay were you were. Don't think any rudeness here at all.
Maybe super British cringe but that's it Grin

PalePinkSwan · 23/07/2018 10:01

I’m one of the people that will ask strangers if they’d mind giving up the front seat for my DCs but I would absolutely understand and think it was fair enough for you to stay put, don’t worry about it.

GreenTulips · 23/07/2018 10:03

I’m one of the people that will ask strangers if they’d mind giving up the front seat for my DCs

Why would you even ask? Why do you think it's ok to interrupt someone else's day and guilt them into moving?

ThanosSavedMe · 23/07/2018 10:04

Ywnbu

Parent shouldn’t have asked, my kids also used to like that seat when they were younger but if someone was sitting there, tough.

Can stand this attitude of children getting what they want all the time. I knew someone who would have expected you to move for her little darlings and would think it showed character when their child kicked off!

jay55 · 23/07/2018 10:05

No way should you have given it up. Even if you could stand it’s a normal first come first served seat.

reallybadidea · 23/07/2018 10:07

OMG Palepinkswan, why would you do that?! I'm cringing for you.

Clionba · 23/07/2018 10:09

Pakepinkswan why do you ask people to give up seats for your children??!

9amTrain · 23/07/2018 10:09

You shouldn't ask people to give up their seat just because your child fancies sitting there! Don't ask anyone again! 😂

NotAnotherUserName5 · 23/07/2018 10:10

She’s cheeky to ask you to move for her child Shock
Who does that? A CF for sure

Clionba · 23/07/2018 10:11

In all honesty, children should give up seats for adults. I always did that with my children.

Shampooeeee · 23/07/2018 10:14

YANBU. You were there first and it was your turn to drive the train.
I hope you made all the right noises and pushed the imaginary buttons.
Agree with pp that children shouldn’t always get what they want.

lottiegarbanzo · 23/07/2018 10:15

I can't believe they asked really. That is bad public transport etiquette and just not on.

Either the dc is big enough to stand, or can sit on the parent's knee. The only time I would give up a seat, or hope anyone else would - so any seat, not to pander to preference - would be if there were no seats at all and the dc was too small to manage standing.

However, the top right inside seat on any double decker bus I travel on is MINE. I don't care who you are. If you are already in it, I shall feel a bit miffed silently, in your direction. You have been warned.

OliviaStabler · 23/07/2018 10:15

YANBU. She is really cheeky to ask.

Sounds like the kid is pandered to and this will be a good lesson for him that you can't get what you want by having a hissy fit.

purpleanorak · 23/07/2018 10:17

I think the front seat of the DLR is one of the only times when it is OK for parents to ask if somebody would mind moving for their children (it is fun sitting there!) - but only if there are other seats free. It is also absolutely fine to decline to move.

Personally I would generally offer to move if a child came on, but the situation would be different if I had any difficulty standing or had a long journey with no other seats free.