AIBU to not move from this seat?

[Namechangerr2018]

Hi all, I’m a regular poster that’s nc because I don’t want people to find me irl.

So today I was traveling into work on the DLR and the front seat became available (you can see where this is going). I took my chance and sat there because it’s quite frankly fun.

Next stop a family gets on and the DS starts having a tantrum because he can’t sit there (bear in mind it’s getting really full up).

His DM asked if I could move but as my hip was hurting I replied that I could not as I can’t stand for long journeys.

WIBU?

[kmammamalto]

What @purpleanorak said!
You weren't unreasonable to not move but I think some people are missing the point. It wasn't just a seat it was the front seat of the DLR. I would have moved. You didn't. As long as the mum didn't huff on about it then it's all fine.
Although if you're posting about it clearly it's on your mind...

[Cliveybaby]

Don't move...
I was once travelling alone on an aeroplane and had the window seat, when the family of 3 who came to sit next to me asked if their son could sit there so he could look out of the window.
Sure I said, I'm gonna sleep anyway, so I moved.
The little brat spent the whole 3hr flight screaming and whinging (he must have been about 5/6). While the parents kept gently ASKING him to please be a bit quieter! Was very tempted to ask for my seat back, since I had been kept from sleeping.

[PrincessHairyMclary]

DD wouldn't have thrown a tantrum and would have been fine if you had said no but I would have asked if you wouldn't mind moving (if there was another seat nearby) as we don't live in London (go once a year or so) and DD really, really looked forward to 'driving the train' when she was little and it was a big highlight of the trip for her.

[Frazzledmum123]

Number79 no stuff doesn't stop being fun when you are an adult, no one said that. I still love building towers with blocks and colouring in but the difference is, I wouldn't stop a child from doing these things so I could! I know a train is a bit difference as it's not a toy but my god as an adult if you really value your own enjoyment of something like sitting at the front of a train over a child's I think that is pathetic. It's so sad that so many people on here seem to judge kids as nothing more than a nuisance, some of the replies are just ridiculous

[Backstabbath]

@Nothisispatrick

Visiting London or living in London and out of the day still means the child has a lot less opportunity to 'drive' the train than the OP who was on her way to work, having multiple opportunities.

It's just a nice fucking thing to do for a child.

Adults need to stop being dicks

[Katiepoes]

I'd have moved, but I don't think you were unreasonable not to. Bit off topic but it reminded me of when a Dutch (very well travelled) friend of mine saw a double decker bus for the first time, insisted we sit upstairs, and was so excited a very nice man sitting in the front seat offered it to her. She was in her late 30s at the time .

[ToDarnHot]

I love the psychics on Mumsnet; probably just visiting _ you know this how?

Travelling at the front is a rare treat, so no way would I give it up for a random child.

[Clionba]

Yes, but Princess I'm sure you didn't tell her she was going to drive the train, only if the seat was free.

[Backstabbath]

Travelling at the front is a rare treat, so no way would I give it up for a random child.

Proves my point the some people are just dicks

[Weepingangels]

Yanbu. Does not matter what seat it is, fun or not. You were in pain and couldn't stand for the journey.

If OP answered that she could not stand then surely that shows no other seats were available by then?

I have painful hips from spd after baby is born still. I would not stand either. I am always thankful to get a seat and not hurt more.

[thecatsthecats]

FrazzledMum

Your username suggests there is a degree of stress in your life, related to childcare nonetheless.

What do you think of my earlier point that adult life is full of stresses, children's lives hopefully far less so?

Some weeks doing something silly and fun on my way to work is literally the only good bit of the day. I doubt many four year olds have to deal with handling racist behaviour from an employee, bill paying or anything like that.

If we're going to extrapolate the 'child probably visiting as a tourist' idea, the child is going off to have a great day. OP is going to work.

[Silentnighttwo]

I would have moved for a DC as I know how much my DS enjoys “driving” the train.

But I don’t think you were being U to refuse if you had a bad hip.

[Backstabbath]

@thecatsthecats

It's a family on the DLR in the school holidays. There are only so many possible reasons they are.

Let's forget why they are there then and start again.

Would I give my seat up for a child to 'drive' the train and sit somewhere else.... fucking right I would and hope I can see the joy in his face. It would give my a thousand times more enjoyment seeing that, than sitting there myself.

[TheHalfBloodPrincess]

What a bunch of Mizogs!

Yes, children need to be taught that they can’t get their own way all the time but surely letting a child have the drivers seat on the DLR isn’t going to create an army of entitled adults?
I’d gladly give up the seat if I knew I could make the journey that bit more special for a child. (Pretend) driving a train is a big deal! Let them have the pleasure.

[DarlingNikita]

HalfBlood, it's the fact that the child was having a tantrum that a lot of posters object to (me included). I don't think you should give in to your own child's tantrums, let alone accommodate those of another person.

I was recently coming up to a crossing on foot. Stretched out my hand to press the button but then clocked the group with a small child approaching from the other direction. Small child looked nervous and a bit sad. Obviously wanted to push the button himself. Of course I stood back and let him. It's different.

[Nerdybeethoven]

I've been in the position of both commuter and parent with kids on that line (and, I love sitting at the front in both situations). I generally think if someone is already sitting there, than that's life.

I'd be more likely to give up my seat to a patient child looking at it longingly, with a parent who wasn't likely to ask, than to one having a tantrum. They could just wait for another train! They shouldn't indulge tantrums or expect other people to do so.

You do sometimes get chucked out of those seats by the guard. That happened to us once but he let my youngest sit next to him and make the announcements 'The next station is xxx'. An unforgettable joy!

[ToDarnHot]

Well it's not me that's being a dick on this thread. Besides it is probably a journey that the family make several times a week during the holidays (or every week if the child is not of school age) as the live in London and make the most of the brilliant stuff that is available.

Which is just as likely as your belief that they are on holiday.

[ElementalHalfLife]

I might give up the 'driver' seat to a child on the train, depending on how I was asked, entitled parents with an attitude that their precious offspring should always be and immediately deferred to would get a polite refusal. But you'd have to prise my cold dead body out of my window seat on a plane! You're a far nicer person that I am Cliveybaby, mind you, seems you've learned the lesson that no good deed goes unpunished!

[Youtopia]

@OutsideNumber79 Ah, I see you and the OP are both in the same preschool class.

[Teasavedmylife]

Simply - if someone is sitting there already, and the next person don’t need the seat because of a disability / pregnant / etc, then I’m afraid that’s life whether you’re a toddler or an adult! No one is entitled to sit in a specific position just because it’s more “fun” - first come first served!
If it was my toddler (even if it had been a holiday or one off trip on the DLR) I’d have not given in to their tantrum!
YWNBU OP

[FruitOnAPlatter]

In all honesty, children should give up seats for adults. I always did that with my children.

Depends surely on the age of the child, and what the journey is - I live in Rome, and I put my kids on seats ahead of me (small, so they both fit on one, then I make a standing cage around them with my arms) because it's downright lethal for them to be standing on a crowded bus going over cobbles with people twice their height and bags.

I was also on the tube once when a school trip got on, and I moved out of my seat and stood so that one of the women escorting could sit with one of the kids on their lap - but then I was fit and well, only going a few stops, and could see that the helper was flagging!

I might, or might not give up the window/driver's seat - depends on how I was asked, how far I was going, how I was feeling etc. I certainly don't think anyone is obliged to though.

[CherryDrizzleCake]

In all honesty, children should give up seats for adults. I always did that with my children

Ditto, it's how I was brought up too. During the school holidays my local branch line to the coast (which I use to go to work) is crammed with teenagers by the time it gets to my stop. I'm 50+ currently have a strapped up (pulled ligament) ankle and a walking stick. It's pretty painful keeping my balance standing up on the train. None of the kids have ever offered me their seat. Not once, ever.
I wouldn't dream of asking nowadays either, after seeing threads on here where the overall attitude appears to be that just because you're older, it doesn't entitle you to ask a teenager to move just on the grounds that they're young and fit even if you have an obvious injury.
Nope, kid was there first. These were the answers on a thread I once saw where an elderly woman with a stick asked a young girl to let her sit and the young girl refused. The majority appeared to think she was an entitled manipulative old bat, and the young girl could have had some sensory/autistic issues and the old lady was harassing her.

It's another world.

[BolleauxtoBankers]

Where does the OP say she was asked to swap seats? She was asked to move, that doesn't mean she wouldn't have lost out on a seat and then have had to stand the rest of the way with a hurting hip.

[Teasavedmylife]

@CherryDrizzleCake that’s awful! If I was there I’d be asking the teenagers to move for you

[paxillin]

Best thing for kids is standing in front of the big window in the middle anyway.