AIBU to not move from this seat?

[Namechangerr2018]

Hi all, I’m a regular poster that’s nc because I don’t want people to find me irl.

So today I was traveling into work on the DLR and the front seat became available (you can see where this is going). I took my chance and sat there because it’s quite frankly fun.

Next stop a family gets on and the DS starts having a tantrum because he can’t sit there (bear in mind it’s getting really full up).

His DM asked if I could move but as my hip was hurting I replied that I could not as I can’t stand for long journeys.

WIBU?

[lottiegarbanzo]

But SheGotBetteDavisEyes there is a world of difference between offering and asking. I might offer, as am mostly a nice, sensible grown-up. I would really dislike being asked. It's bad manners for a good reason.

[WaxOnFeckOff]

Where does it say the child is 4?

Very rude to ask and I'd not give it for that reason alone. If I saw a child patiently waiting for it to become free or looking wistfully without being rude and there were other options then I'd offer but I can't stand pushy parents and demanding kids.

As a child I used to like sitting in the top front seat of the double decker, if it wasn't free then I sat somewhere else so it was exciting on the days it was free. I'm not traumatised.

[shumway]

I purposely don't sit on the seats at the front upstairs on the bus because I know kids like to sit there.

[SheGotBetteDavisEyes]

But SheGotBetteDavisEyes there is a world of difference between offering and asking. I might offer, as am mostly a nice, sensible grown-up. I would really dislike being asked. It's bad manners for a good reason

I get that. My point is that I would have offered before being asked! I'm always happy to do small things to make someone's day better/happier/whatever.

We all love it when someone does something unexpectedly kind for us, it's nice to be on the other end of that sometimes.

[80sMum]

YANBU.

[ch0c0milkrox]

sod that, i'm an adult and i love that seat and like to have fun too. YWNBU
i'd have smirked at the kid too

[GreenTulips]

Was their another seat available nearby?

What difference does that make?

[DarlingNikita]

YANBU. You can't always have what you want and it's not a bad thing for children to learn that.

[sunshinesupermum]

No you were in the right and I'd have also refused. Kids have to learn they can't have everything they want when they want. In any case your need was greater!

[Aeroflotgirl]

YANBU at all, you were there first, and your needs are greater. They should stop pandering to their child, I would never have asked such a thing.

[Backstabbath]

Are most of you looking at this from a normal train point of view and not taking into account the train the OP is on.
Under normal circumstances YWNBU to say no but this is the front seat of the DLR and in essence you become the train driver. He's a young kid who wants to drive a train. The OP is an adult, fuck sake let the kid drive the train

[reallybadidea]

Where does it say the child is 4?

I must have dreamt it, sorry

[sockunicorn]

she asked you to move without offering you a different empty seat . cheeky fucker!!!!! STAY WHERE YOU ARE

[thecatsthecats]

To be honest, to the peole saying it would be 'amazing' for a 4 year old to sit at the front, I reckon it's awesome for an adult!

I pay bills, mortgage, support friends, go to bloody work all week. I'd fricking love to be four again with no responsibilities, and occasionally facing tiny disappointments that only seem huge vs the grind of laundry and earning money to pay for things.

Enjoy your front seat, OP!

(also, looking forward to tiresome po faced comments about how 'little ones should come first' and that I have a 'horrible attitude', 'I hope you don't have children etc' - thanks in advance!)

[Trinity66]

haha what a cheek, I can't believe she had the nerve to ask a stranger to get out of their seat to appease a child with a tantrum

[LighthouseSouth]

the problem with "just asking" is you have taught your child that there might be a reason someone should accommodate you.

then you've got to explain when the person says no and I bet some people do an interesting job of that.

I'm horrified at this trend of adults falling over themselves to please their children - what kind of DC are they raising?

[GreenTulips]

He's a young kid who wants to drive a train

Yes and the seat was taken! Would the parents kick off other kids? Kick off a disabled person or pregnant lady?

It's not right to ask.

[Clionba]

The child is not entitled to that seat. They haven't booked or paid extra. It's the luck of the draw. I've no idea how old the child was, but the parents were cheeky.

[happygirly1]

You're not unreasonable no. No way on this Earth would I ever approach a stranger and ask them to move because my child would prefer their seat.

Yes it's a nice treat as a child to sit at the front but if someone's already there, then it's tough, just one of those things.

I might however, if I was sat there and heard a child crying to sit at the front, as long as there were other seats available, I may have offered. Shouldn't be expected though.

[StepBackNow]

Such a lack of manners to even ask.

[TrudeauGirl]

You had every right to stay where you were. It was rude to expect you to move just because of a tantrum.

[SheGotBetteDavisEyes]

Most posters here are - rightly - very keen for the child to be taught that they can't have everything they want. I teach my DC that every day, it's vital. They know that they'll be disappointed sometimes, cross, etc that they can't have/get/do something, it's all part of helping them become rounded people.

However, what's wrong with teaching them the value of small acts of kindness as well? If someone moved for my toddler so they could drive the DLR, then I would be really grateful, and use it as an opportunity to explain to my child why that person did a kind thing and how lucky they were that we encountered someone who did something thoughtful.

I think both things are worth teaching to kids.

• Again...I don't agree with a parent asking someone to move - I'm talking about offering without being asked!

[OutsideNumber79]

It was very rude of them.

And even ruder because there were (presumably) no other empty seats.

[RedPony1]

I might offer if a child is quietly and politely disappointed at there not being a spare seat there, but definitely would not offer if a child was having a tantrum over it!

YWNBU

[lottiegarbanzo]

Yes, totally agree BetteDavis but the starting point of this thread is that OP was asked to move.

She's told us why she didn't feel up to offering. She shouldn't need to feel obliged to tell anyone.