AIBU to not move from this seat?

[Namechangerr2018]

Hi all, I’m a regular poster that’s nc because I don’t want people to find me irl.

So today I was traveling into work on the DLR and the front seat became available (you can see where this is going). I took my chance and sat there because it’s quite frankly fun.

Next stop a family gets on and the DS starts having a tantrum because he can’t sit there (bear in mind it’s getting really full up).

His DM asked if I could move but as my hip was hurting I replied that I could not as I can’t stand for long journeys.

WIBU?

[JustABrokenDoll]

Where does the OP say she was asked to swap seats?

That came from @Backstabbath who claims she was also on the train and witnessed this happening ...

[Eliza9917]

Aren't there three other seats at the front? So two 2 seaters? Couldn't the kid have satin one of those? (I've only been on the DLR once or twice and a long time ago).

I don't agree with this thing now on public transport that adults should get out of their seats for children. When I was growing up, children got up for adults, and even sat on the floor (if a suitable environment).

[Gasp0deTheW0nderD0g]

We live near a DLR terminus so when my children were little we had an excellent chance of securing the front seat for them. We have been known to let a train go, in fact, so as to get in first on the next one. However, no way Jose would I ever have asked somebody else to move for us if we hadn't been able to go to the first stop! I'm blushing just at the thought. If they'd had a tantrum about it we'd have been turning round and going home, not asking a complete stranger to do us a favour on a crowded train. Goodness me.

[yerbutnobut]

YANBU, they shouldn't have asked you to move, I wouldn't dream of it!
Seems to have become a thing in recent years i've noticed where parents expect adults to move out of their seat, rather than little ones being placed on parents knee which is how I always used to do it when DC were little.

[Whirlytastic]

Sod that - the front seat of the DLR is fun for everyone, whatever age you are. I'd knock small children out of the way in my haste to plonk my arse there

[BitOutOfPractice]

The real question is how they reacted when you said "no"

[MrsGrindah]

There was a thread almost identical to this a while ago. I never realised Londoners has such dilemmas to contend with! But then I’m one of those who think kids should sit on an adults lap if someone else is standing...

[JustABrokenDoll]

Never been on the DLR but this pic seems to show more than one seat up the front?

[Youtopia]

@JustABrokenDoll There's four seats up front.

[Eliza9917]

@CherryDrizzleCake Mon 23-Jul-18 12:25:31
In all honesty, children should give up seats for adults. I always did that with my children

Ditto, it's how I was brought up too. During the school holidays my local branch line to the coast (which I use to go to work) is crammed with teenagers by the time it gets to my stop. I'm 50+ currently have a strapped up (pulled ligament) ankle and a walking stick. It's pretty painful keeping my balance standing up on the train. None of the kids have ever offered me their seat. Not once, ever.
I wouldn't dream of asking nowadays either, after seeing threads on here where the overall attitude appears to be that just because you're older, it doesn't entitle you to ask a teenager to move just on the grounds that they're young and fit even if you have an obvious injury.
Nope, kid was there first. These were the answers on a thread I once saw where an elderly woman with a stick asked a young girl to let her sit and the young girl refused. The majority appeared to think she was an entitled manipulative old bat, and the young girl could have had some sensory/autistic issues and the old lady was harassing her.

It's another world.

That thread was about an older lady who walked past loads of other people/seats to ask that specific girl to move, so not comparable really.

I do think teenagers should give up their seats for you though - but just shows how badly they were all raised imo.

[KokoandAllBall]

I would never ask someone to move. Once an elderly couple spotted me and DD sitting a few rows back and asked if we'd like to swap which was lovely, but asking anyone to move when it's not necessary is plain rude - and bagging the fun front seats is never a necessity.

[JustABrokenDoll]

There's four seats up front.

Not sure why the OP was asked to move and not the other 3 people up front?

Can either OP or Backstabbath clarify?

[TrudeauGirl]

Sod that - the front seat of the DLR is fun for everyone, whatever age you are. I'd knock small children out of the way in my haste to plonk my arse there

Just had an image of you racing down the train and elbowing people.

[HattieAndHerBoy]

Op, to be honest if there were others seats I wouldn't have needed to be asked. Id have just offered my seat up to a child if there was another one available for me to sit on because sitting on the front seat of the bus and pretending to drive is just what children like to do and life is way too short to bother about something like this.

[socraties1234]

No way. The child was being a brat. The mother was taking the piss.

[Cliveybaby]

@ElementalHalfLife haha I was fuming! I was trying to be nice, since it didn't make any difference to me (it was the second of a connected flight, and I'd been up since 3, so sleeping was a higher priority than the view).
Of course I should have been less british about it and made them move back after half an hour though!

[TheHalfBloodPrincess]

These were the answers on a thread I once saw where an elderly woman with a stick asked a young girl to let her sit and the young girl refused. The majority appeared to think she was an entitled manipulative old bat, and the young girl could have had some sensory/autistic issues and the old lady was harassing her.

If it’s the thread I’m thinking of, the woman asked the teenager to move from her reserved seat at the beginning of a 6 hour journey on a packed train. It wasn’t the teenagers responsibility to seat the older woman, it was the older woman’s responsibility to either reserve her own seat or find a guard to seat her.

I agree to not giving in to tantrums (I have 3 dc, I’m quite the expert) but there is a big difference in a 2 year old throwing a wobbler because they haven’t quite grasped the understanding of reason, and an 8 year old tantrumming and demanding their own way.

[HattieAndHerBoy]

There was a thread almost identical to this a while ago. I never realised Londoners has such dilemmas to contend with!

I remember that thread.

But then I’m one of those who think kids should sit on an adults lap if someone else is standing...

I agree.

[Frazzledmum123]

Thecatsthecats yes my life is frazzled at times, and simple things make it more fun I agree but seriously, riding up front of a train, I actually can't believe a grown adult would take that away from a child, it's beyond childish. I don't care how busy my life is, it is that because of decisions I have made no one else. Yes a child's life is more fun but so it should be, they have all the crap of being an adult to come. Childhood in my mind should be as fun and magical as possible and if I can help that in any way I will. Still don't agree with the mother asking, that was rude but I still think it's sad to think of a grown adult knowing a child wanted a go and refusing when it sounds like there were other options available.
What bugs me is the hypocracy of people too 'children need to learn the world doesn't revolve around them, children are entitled, children need to learn to share' but adults dont? If my child regularly had the opportunity to sit at the front and I could see another child wanted to then I'd ask my child to move for them, it's just nice. But apparently because the the op is an adult, and even though she had had a go already on that ride, apparently she shouldn't have to consider a child (or it's mum who may have been having just a shit a day as you)

[Thefourmuskateers]

Nah. I'd be disappointed for my child but I wouldn't dream of asking anyone to move.

[HattieAndHerBoy]

It's just a nice fucking thing to do for a child

You said it better than I did.

[SleeplessInSuffolk]

Trudeau, totally!

[DailyMailReadersAreThick]

Please don't ask people to move from that seat. I took a seat yesterday and a woman holding a toddler glared and huffed at me and made me feel like shit for not offering it to her. I have spinal stenosis and was about ready to cry with pain from standing up.

It's still making me feel like shit 24 hours later.

[JamPasty]

But apparently because the the op is an adult, and even though she had had a go already on that ride, apparently she shouldn't have to consider a child

Did you miss the bit where the OP said she has hip problems that mean she's not actually able to stand for long periods?

[JamPasty]

Hugs DailyMailReadersAreThick. Please don't feel like shit - that mum was being awful to you!