To wonder why those who aren’t mums are on mumsnet?

[Blue09]

Not that I’m against it - I’m just curious really!

I'm the same as CheeseGirl4 - love children, but didn't want any myself.

I came to Mumsnet through a S&B thread and have stayed. I like dipping in and out of the various threads, hearing other opinions and getting ideas for beauty, style, home inspiration etc. I have cried with laughter at some threads, and been moved to tears by others, and sometimes wonder what sort of universe some people live in, judging by their comments. One thing MN is not, though, is boring, and I love it for that.

I started reading MN before we'd even thought about TTC as I ended up here after googling dreadful builders when I was in need of comfort! Stayed initially for the chat about books/gardens/education/TV/CFNs and am now here for baby related stuff too as I'm 17 weeks pregnant. Where do I even start with prams, people?!

I think non-parents should be encouraged: I definitely have more appreciation for the challenges of parenting after reading some of the threads on here

Shame some parents don't seem to reciprocate though.

i wouldnt, as a woman, even consider joining something calked 'dadsnet'. It would be weird.

Well user18 i hate to break it to you but as your a member of mumsnet you are in fact a member of "dadsnet" soooooonot only did you consider it but you joined so ......yep your apparentlh weird

But that aside "for parents by parents" are dads mot parents now?

The real injustice that nobody ever seems to care about is the fact that we at the Mexborough Umbrella Macrameing Society (estd 1927) were most blatantly and cruelly cybersquatted by this bunch of sweary lasses who took over what should most clearly have been our domain all along.

bakingdemon - John Lewis! Go and play with the display models and wheel them around and practice putting them up and down congratulations.

Not going to bother with the actual question, other than to say YABVU, because it’s been done to death.

I joined to play Mornington Crescent. It is on the 'other subjects' thread if anyone wishes to join in.

Fucks sake, this again?? How many more times

I cannot believe how annoyed people are getting about this when the site is a) called 'MUMsnet' and b) the tag line is 'by parents for parents' . OP was curious and wanted to know the answer to a question! And OP was being nice about it-I don't think she's saying it to be inflammatory or to get a reaction, it's a valid question in a place where I've seen people on threads say 'I have no kids and don't intend on having any.' That's made me wonder too, and where people say it's moved outside the tag line-if it's gone so far outside that you go on a site called mumsnet and say you hate kids then they really need to re-brand!! because makes full sense for anything parent/child/teen/baby/pregnancy/fertility related, but outside that I've wondered too!! And to the people who say things like 'not this again' why read a thread if it's obvious you've read something similar, then come on and moan about it? Leave the OP alone!!!!!!!!

If you google random things like I want a top to cover my ass. Or how to fold fitted sheet or about diets it’s mumsbet results that come up and again and again. Took me about year before gave up and clicked on answers and they were very helpful.

This question gets asked every bloody month and they always do the "ooh, it was a genuine question, I wasn't being goady, sorry if I upset anyone" shit.

But seriously, anyone with any semblance of intelligence ought to be able to come up with a few reasons why non-mums, men, childfree people might be on MN. It's really pretty damned simple.

I posted in the hopes that this is the last time this ridiculous question is asked

@shatnerswig

Wow. Missed your coffee this morning?

@Blue09 No, I don't drink coffee but I have had my morning cuppa.

But think about it. You're on a thread where for some reason you mention you don't have kids by choice, or you're a man. Time and time again you get asked by someone - sometimes politely, sometimes not - why you're on MN. It doesn't just happen once in a blue moon, it happens A LOT. Imagine having to justify yourself on a regular basis? Wouldn't you get a bit fed up of seeing this question not only being asked on threads - often with fuck all to do with kids anyway - but repeatedly being put as its own topic in AIBU? Often with a very nasty undertone from the OP.

It really, really isn't hard to think why non-parents might be here. Maybe they are someone who works with kids but don't have any of their own and come here for insight? Or an auntie, or uncle, or step parent or godparent? The vast majority of the boards and threads don't actually have anything to do with parenting.

But what's most stupid of all is that you yourself admit after asking your question that YOU CAME HERE BEFORE YOU WERE A PARENT!

Actually its obvious men come here to have a predominantly female peer group. Not that its a problem, but my argument that a lot of them hang around the sex topic is valid

Wow shatners Over invested or what? Maybe you need to take a break from Mumsnet and calm down.

Obviously this is a parenting website but some folk are just here for the shits and giggles - apart from shatnerswig who just likes to get annoyed with random strangers ...

@Thedutchwife No, I'm lots of threads at the moment not getting annoyed with random strangers. There's a particularly good one which has derailed into nonsense about a cat which the OP has enjoyed as taking her mind off the problem that had kept her awake overnight.

It's not being over invested. As I put, some people are fed up having to regularly justify our being on this site to others. If you can't understand why that might become somewhat annoying over many years, well.... Maybe I've been more blunt than others, but the vast majority of posters on this thread suggest exasperation with the question too.

It really, really isn't hard to think why non-parents might be here. Maybe they are someone who works with kids but don't have any of their own and come here for insight? Or an auntie, or uncle, or step parent or godparent?

Or maybe someone, parent or not, hears about Mumsnet as one of the last bastions of feminism & comes to have a look at the FWR boards? The number of people entering the site via Feminist Chat has gone up from 15,000 in June 2016 to 177,000 in June 2018.

The actual website may well be completely parent-focused. But if the boards were limited to parent-related threads they'd shrink a hell of a lot.

Naught actually 'nooooooo' there are mostly women, mostly feminists, here. Yes some men, which is fine. But on a predominantly male site, i wouldnt see what that would offer me.
It wasnt a criticism (although the sex bit was, slightly.)

user18 different sites offer different people different things.

There are dads that perfer female persective. There are men who want to help their wives through depression post natal depression, female cancers, etc information and understanding they cant get on perdomitaly male sites

Theres single dads who have bo one femake to bounce ideas off

Equally theres males that have a lot to offer advice and understanding that we wouldnt gef from females.

Your point of view is odd to me

Well like i said its mine.
Then theres men perving around the sex topic posting far more commonly than they do on any other area. The former i see your point. The latter are pervs

There's trolls and pervs on every forum though user18 actually all forms of social media, It's not exclusively a MN issue or a male issue.

Another though that voices an off beat opinion then when challanged on it, goes well it's my oppionin like yours is the only one ever allowed. I'm glad it's your opinion, very nice for you but it will and should be challanged

Challenge away. Men hanging round the sex topic is weird, when they dont post anywhere on the site elsewhere.
I want the views of other feminist women, which mumsnet gives. I dont need to justify myself to you, criticise away it wont change my perspective.
I never condemned other views just gave my own-thats what people on a forum do, and what you have also just done which is fine

I'm planning to be a parent through adoption or fertility treatment but I joined because I like the forum and the community of it.

Hi

I joined mumsnet recently and I'm not a mum, I'm only in my early 20s as well so I mainly joined for general life advice/hacks from other women/mums on a range of topics because unfortunately my own mum works a lot and I hardly see her. :) example - I'm going on my first holiday with friends and had no idea where to get decent suncream, what brand, is spray better than the cream etc and things of that nature - posted a thread and got some tips hahaa. Always super helpful.