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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To say, should HAVE / could HAVE / would HAVE?

138 replies

Basta · 22/07/2018 13:42

I know some people have learning difficulties, dyslexia, etc., but this is so common (surely more so than the incidence of dyslexia and so on) and it drives me bananas.

Also "your" being used to mean "you are".

I probably ABU to let it bother me (and to start a thread on it) but really, it's Year 2 stuff. Doesn't anybody read any more??

OP posts:
PaulRuddislush · 22/07/2018 13:46

You're brave, MN really seems to hate "grammar nazis".
I don't like these examples either but I'm not confident enough in my own grammar to comment on anyone else.

Polarbearflavour · 22/07/2018 13:46

Yes. I’ve worked with engineers, project managers, healthcare professionals etc and most people can’t use correct grammar.

In my last job I worked with a woman who was constantly going on about being a trained journalist with a degree yet her social media outputs, press releases etc for the company always contained things like should of and your instead of you’re.

Anxious2niteaaah · 22/07/2018 13:47

It grates on me when I read could of, should of, would of instead of could have, should have , would have....

could of, should of, would of doesn't even make any sense

MilkTrayLimeBarrel · 22/07/2018 13:47

Totally agree. People must have been taught correct grammar at school so really it is just pure laziness.

Racecardriver · 22/07/2018 13:48

Not as bad as nufink instead of nothing.

sausagenegg · 22/07/2018 13:49

As someone who has quite a broad Yorkshire accent it's very rare i say any words in full, it depends on who I'm with and what conversation we are having but usually and especially when angry/in full flow conversation my words get shorter and shorter

xJessica · 22/07/2018 13:50

It really grates on me ! Also "I seen/ I done" - it seems more people say it than not, especially where we live. Even the teaching assistants in my DC's school say it.

Anniegetyourgun · 22/07/2018 13:51

Of you done that job yet? Yes, I of.

JacquesHammer · 22/07/2018 13:51

Do you mean “say” or write?

If you mean write it is of course “could have” etc.

However colloquially saying “could’ve” - which may be heard as “could of” is also correct

Sparklesocks · 22/07/2018 13:55

I don’t really let it bother me, as long as they get their point across I don’t chastise people for errors. They might struggle with spelling/grammar and it feels a bit mean to embarrass them on it.

Seniorschoolmum · 22/07/2018 13:55

Nuffink is the one that drives me crazy.

YellowTelescope · 22/07/2018 13:56

I agree, it's really annoying but I think getting on your high horse about it isn't going to change anything. I am shit at maths, but someone posting a thread about how they can't believe people struggle with basic maths isn't going to suddenly turn me into a mathematician.

InspectorIkmen · 22/07/2018 13:58

YANBU OP but you'll probably get hung, drawn and quartered here for this!
There's a terrible outbreak of 'been' instead of 'being' on here lately too. It pains me to read it. Do these people not read what they've written? Do they not see 99% of other posters doing it differently and do they not wonder why that might be?

RockYourSocksOff · 22/07/2018 13:59

I do tell Ds when he says ‘should of’ but he tells me he’s saying should’ve Hmm

Original poster
Basta · 22/07/2018 14:02

As someone who has quite a broad Yorkshire accent it's very rare i say any words in full, it depends on who I'm with and what conversation we are having but usually and especially when angry/in full flow conversation my words get shorter and shorter.

But you still know that you're saying "should've" not "should of", don't you?

OP posts:
SweetSummerchild · 22/07/2018 14:03

I can’t stand it when people use ‘alot’ instead of ‘a lot’.

Why do they do it?

I am a bit of a Stannis Baratheon about ‘less’ and ‘fewer’ as well.

Original poster
Basta · 22/07/2018 14:04

Of you done that job yet? Yes, I of.

Great example! Grin

OP posts:
bilbodog · 22/07/2018 14:08

Jacques is correct - its not so much how it is said but written. Could have does sound like could of when could’ve is spoken and that is ok its just that so many people dont know how to write it correctly! Also texting and sending messages on social media dont always help with random auto correct and predictive text. As you can see i dont put apostrophies where they are due because i am typing with one finger on an ipad. If i was typing properly on a keyboard i would.

Now dont get me started on yourself and myself instead of ME and YOU!!!

ThroughThickAndThin01 · 22/07/2018 14:10

I’m with you OP, it’s an annoying mistake.

I don’t care too much about grammar but that’s the one that grates.

SwimCap · 22/07/2018 14:10

'alot' when they mean 'a lot' annoys me.

Original poster
Basta · 22/07/2018 14:11

However colloquially saying “could’ve” - which may be heard as “could of” is also correct.

Well yes, of course.

OP posts:
chalkiegirl · 22/07/2018 14:12

What really grates on me as well as all the grammatical errors is how, when asking for something in a shop, so many people say 'Can I get x y or z'. What's wrong with 'Can I have . . ' ? Another creeping Americanism I fear.

Original poster
Basta · 22/07/2018 14:14

YANBU OP but you'll probably get hung, drawn and quartered here for this!

Um, it's actually "hanged... " Blush

OP posts:
harrietm87 · 22/07/2018 14:15

Omg yes I can't stand this.

Another one that drives me mad is "I was sat", "I was stood". Sorry no, unless someone placed you there you were SITTING or STANDING.

And another Americanism I see creeping in more and more is "swap
out"...what's wrong with just "swap"? The out is completely redundant.

ThroughThickAndThin01 · 22/07/2018 14:16

Pissed for pissed off too, hate that one.

Just “pissed” to me is drunk.