To say, should HAVE / could HAVE / would HAVE?

[Basta]

I know some people have learning difficulties, dyslexia, etc., but this is so common (surely more so than the incidence of dyslexia and so on) and it drives me bananas.

Also "your" being used to mean "you are".

I probably ABU to let it bother me (and to start a thread on it) but really, it's Year 2 stuff. Doesn't anybody read any more??

Dyslexia etc aside, no yanbu.

I have a weird hatred for “I just got out my bed”, “I’m going out the house”, “I’m going Tesco’s”. Instead of “out of my bed”, “out of the house”, “going to Tesco’s”. Hate it. Don’t know why.

Also “I was sat in the cafe” instead of “sitting in the cafe”.

Also brought / bought getting mixed up. “Put it in my draw” I was once emailed at work. I was very till I realised “oh you mean drawer”!

English is my first language, but I’m not English. I’ve lived in Ireland, USA, Scotland, the West Country, even France and now bear London. I’ve noticed these mistakes so much more since I moved to the south east of England. I don’t know if it’s down to how English is taught in schools here maybe? Don’t know. Or maybe they’re just becoming part of everyday speech, so I hear it more?

In the words of Guy Ritchie “I thought this country spawned the fucking language, and so far nobody seems to speak it” . That’s about rhyming slang actually... But I still love it as a quote.

*near

I say what sounds like "could of" but I'm actually saying "could've" etc

Buswankeress
^However, someone has mentioned the use of "DH and I have been invited to..."
Is this incorrect? I was taught at school to use that rather than "Me and DH", the explanation was that it was 'rude' to put yourself first in the sentence, and secondly using 'me' instead of 'I' was incorrect.^

'DH and I have been invited' is correct because without DH, you would say 'I have been invited'. If you remove the reference to the second person in the sentence, you would use 'I'. However,'me' does not always need to be changed to 'I'. 'DH and me' would be correct if you would use 'me' in the sentence without DH. For example, 'Come and walk the dog with DH and me.' Remove DH from the sentence and see whether you would use I or me. 'Come and walk the dog with I' or 'Come and walk the dog with me'.

I have a close friend who teaches Y5 who regularly does this. Fortunately she is the maths lead not the literacy lead.

I hate:
Could of
Hence why
Hung instead of hanged
Less instead of fewer (when the item is countable)
Itch instead of scratch
Off of
I am an unashamed pedant.

•@AtSea1979 is your post a joke?• Yes it was @harrietm87, almost certainly. There were another three glaring errors besides the ones you mentioned - no-one gets that many errors into what purports to be a single sentence without doing it deliberately.

Phew well I hope so!

It baffles me how people who insist "could of" is an acceptable variation make "of" work as a verb elsewhere. Would they write "I of been to the shops" or "We of a new cat"?

Myself yourself yourselves themselves grrrrrrr. I. Me. You. Them.

Oh, forgot this. Haitch.

And 'for free'. What happened to 'free'?

That cup is great! Where do you get those or should I say can I get one?

Myself yourself yourselves themselves grrrrrrr. I. Me. You. Them.

Yes! Unless the person saying it is Irish. In which case, it’s fine. I always point this out on these threads. “I saw himself in town” I’d perfectly acceptable in Ireland. “Could of” is acceptable nowhere.

Reflexive pronoun overuse is a huge bugbear of mine. It does not make anyone sound more intelligent!

Alot
Aswell
Definately
All of the OF misuse
Youse
I seen it/I done it
Brought and not bought
Can I lend that off yer
Bizarre punctuation use
Thank-you or thankyou (mate with a PhD does this and it's fucking pathetic)

I hate them all! I love this thread.

Agree yousee, acceptable if Irish otherwise noooooo.

Why is it acceptable as Irish idiom but not estate agent idiom?

Defiantly instead of definitely
Carnt/can't
Chester drawers/chest of drawers
Thankyou/thank you
Could of/could have
Sat/sitting

riddley

I think (non Irish speaker) that it is a hangover from when we all spoke Irish in Ireland. The direct translation of him is the same as himself in Irish... I think? Maybe an Irish speaker can correct me.

My Irish readers are no doubt jumping up and down and waving at me by now! Although using a reflexive pronoun instead of a subjective or objective pronoun isn’t acceptable in most varieties of standard current English, the situation is different in Irish English, where such uses are regarded as grammatical. Here’s an example of a reflexive pronoun as part of a compound subject from the letters of the poet W. B. Yeats:

Miss Horniman, the architect & myself were inspecting the theatre. [Irish English]

Miss Horniman. . . & I were inspecting the theatre. [British English]

and a reflexive used as the object of a preposition (to) from an Irish news website:

Claire didn’t win but it was no mean achievement to reach the final and for this we send our congratulations to herself and her family. [Irish English] congratulations to her and her family. [British English]

From this:
www.google.co.uk/amp/s/blog.oxforddictionaries.com/amp/2012/11/07/some-reflections-on-reflexives/

Helping your uncle jack off a horse" translates to "Helping your Uncle Jack, off of a horse"

There's no need for a comma after Jack, and "off of" is horrible.

"Helping your Uncle, Jack, off a horse" would be hyper-correct.

I of have noticed "he's" instead of "his" used several times on MN and FB recently. Plus a very peculiar use of "to which". I cannot think of an example but it's extremely odd and I have seen it many times.

Ect is still enjoying plenty of use too.

It's LOSE, LOSE, LOSE, (as in weight), not "loose."

I also can't bear 'for free' instead of 'free' or 'for nothing'. It's just wrong!

People who talk about hot temperatures - no - it's either 'hot' weather or 'high' temperatures.

Mixing up lend/borrow.

'Can I get' in a cafe/restaurant and the inevitable 'enjoy' when you are served.

'Invite' instead of 'invitation' drives me mad!

"Helping your Uncle, Jack, off a horse" would be hyper-correct. No, it would be incorrect, because "uncle" in this sentence is a general noun (with Jack being used as to specify which uncle) and so it shouldn't have an upper case U.
"Helping your uncle, Jack, off a horse" would still be incorrect to many of my generation because you'd never call your uncle "Jack", only ever "Uncle Jack" but
"Helping your uncle, Uncle Jack, off a horse" is so clumsy, that in practice you'd go for
"Helping your Uncle Jack off a horse".

Hot temperatures is an interesting one. I don't think I would say it but is it actually wrong?