To ask what time your 7YO goes to bed?

[shoelaces]

Just that really.

I want him up by 7.30am but it's just not working for us right now, and hasn't for a long time.

What time do they go to bed? And what time do they wake up?

Do you let them read in bed by themselves after stories, or is it a strict lights out?

We currently stay in his room until he falls asleep, he gets very upset at the suggestion of leaving him to get to sleep by himself. He is not falling asleep until 9pm - 10pm. We have bath at 7pm, then reading and lights out at 8.20pm as a strict lights out, no exceptions.

Please help me work out how to do this differently so that DH and I actually have some time together in the evenings before falling asleep!

I leave dd all tucked up in bed by 7. She reads, some songs and talks to herself for up to 2 hours, but I can’t do anything about it and she drops off on her own.

Ds is 8 and he is left alone at 8pm whereupon he drops off immediately.

Ds is wide awake by 6 though EVERY day. Be careful what you wish for!

Mine vary but usually between 7 and 8 but he reads to himself for half an hour to an hour then goes off. Normally up between 6.30 - 7am. But in the holidays the kids play out until late so bedtime will be more like 9.

Dd1 is 8.5 I have only just let he stay up past 7.30. She can read until about 8.15 now. She gets up at 7.30. I put her to bed and she slept with dd2 who is 5 until very recently she needs the sleep

My son will be 7 in September. He is in his room by about 7:30 and we read him a chapter of a book. Then he is allowed to play quietly by himself until 8pm, when he is allowed to read in bed until 8:30. I also have a four year old who goes to bed pretty bang on 7:30.

It’s a bit later n the holidays.

Anytime between 7-8pm goes up with a book, chills out some nights he’ll drop off other nights he’ll be up and down the stairs asking lots of daft questions until 10. Wakes up at 6 irrelevant of what time he went to bed

All I can suggest is some way of not staying with him from 8 to 9/10pm. That’s crazy. Do you have other kids?

I try to get her upstairs at 7.30-45 and read her a few chapters until 8-8.15. Lights out then, no further reading.

Mine would quite naturally sleep something like 10-8am, but obviously this doesn't work very well with school. We do bath/bed around 7.30pm, she is in bed from then and I usually do her stories / listen to her read at 8 after I've read to my 4 year old. She can read till 9 then lights out and audio book on. She struggles to sleep before 10 though.

I don't feel like I'm missing the evening though, as she stays in her room reading or listening to audio books. I do feel for her though as she's really tired when I wake her up (has to be 7.30am absolute latest). Holidays are easier as she can revert to her natural pattern...

DD goes at 730 during week and 8 at weekends. She's allowed to read/ use her tablet til 9

I try to have her in her room by 8ish and then she can play quietly in bed (dolls usually) or read until she falls asleep but this can be until 9/9.30.

I've been looking at getting something that I can play audio books or music on for her to help.

Thanks everyone. This helps me understand what is reasonable. He has friends who are asleep by 7pm and I feel like we're failing.

He gets distressed if we say we will not stay in the room until he falls asleep. If he's distressed, he's not sleeping. This has led to him being awake until 11-12 until he is cuddled to sleep. I want to change this but need to do it in such a way that he will be happy with the change.

I think he needs to feel like he's getting/winning something else that's more important to him.

7:30pm on a school night but he has to get up at 6am on a school day. 8 or 8:30 at the weekend. I'm not sure the variation does him any good tbh but that's what we do atm. He has older siblings so 7:30 on non school nights would seem harsh, and only he needs it.

He isn't a great sleeper but is tireder if he goes to bed later.

Audi books helped break my youngest of needing me to sit with him, and of waking me in the night.

In that case I’d say that he can play for a bit in his room BUT you won’t stay. Seven is old enough to understand that grown ups need some time to themselves.

My 7 yr old twins are in their bedrooms between 7 and 7.30pm
They play quietly/read until about 8.30pm when I go up and tuck them in/turn lights down etc
Think they go to sleep pretty much immediately after that - I don’t hear from them again anyway!

I have to wake them most mornings at 6.45am for school. Weekends they wake somewhere between 7 and 7.30 although that varies hugely depending on how tired they are overall and/or how excited they are about what we are doing on any particular weekend!

Is it just a habit you’ve got into of staying until he’s asleep or are there underlying issues of some sort, eg anxiety? If it’s just habit then I think you need to break it ASAP. Perhaps with some sort of fabulous reward system?

We had this with DD who is 7. She would not go to sleep unless one of us was there with her.

we bought her a nice nightlight (that she chose), and we put soft music on her ipad for her to listen to as she falls asleep. we'd put her to bed, give her a kiss and cuddle and then leave her. the first few nights we had a few "mammy/daddy, i need you". i'd pop my head around the door so she knew we hadn't deserted her and just say "time for sleep now, good night, i love you".

No problem at all her getting her into bed now xx

Mine used to be upstairs by 7ish,in bed by 7.30,We would read a book then lights out.Some days if she wasn't tired I would just tell her that her body still needed a rest so to stay in bed and that everyone sometimes felt like that.She went through a phase of coming downstairs for a drink then would sit next to us and hope we wouldn't notice.This was sorted by putting a glass of water ready for her and switching of the TV so by the time she got too us we were apparently reading books,minimum conversation.She stopped coming down as it was so boring.
Down side was she was up at first sparrow fart,this was regardless of when she went to bed so if she went to bed late she would just be grumpy and up early.

My 7year old gets sent to bed sometime between 7 and 8 on a school night depending on how knackered she seems. She will normally have a story but more often than not she won't have a bath these days (she has the odd one but sometimes has a morning shower instead - or just stays grubby for a few days!)
The aim is for her to be in bed and us to be downstairs by 8 so length of story and amount of faffing about will be determined by what time I announce - "off to bed now".

She plays in her room in her bed a bit if she isn't tired (as proven by the amount of plastic tat in the bed with her in the morning). Sometimes until 9pm.

We stopped sitting with her to go to sleep a few years back. If she has a nightmare or feels ill she comes down. Sometimes when I go off to bed she is not where I left her (she may be asleep in our bed or on the floor in a "nest" made of blankets or some other odd place). I pick her up and deposit her back in her bed before climbing into my own.

There is no way she'd be asleep at 7pm every night anymore although she was a couple of years back.

A 7 year old needs 9 - 12 hours sleep. Yours is only getting the minimum if he goes to sleep at 10pm. Far too late for a 7 year old.

You need to apply some tough love. There’s no reason for you to stay in his room until he goes to sleep. He gets upset so you stay. How long are you going to do this for?

You need to sit him down and explain how things are going to be. Take him to bed (at a reasonable time) and do not stay. Do not go back yet if he gets upset (this is learnt behaviour and you need to break it).

I have ds - 6yrs he goes to bed at 7pm has a story & is usually asleep almost immediately.

Ds8 yrs goes up to bed between 7.45 - 8pm. He's allowed to read for a bit using his book light (shares with his brother) but is usually asleep by 9pm. These light warm evening have pushed everything back a bit so often they go up together around 8-8.30pm which is too late for DS6 really.

Both up around 7.15am or later at weekends.

Does your son have special needs? If not, then you have to get out of the habit of staying in his room until he goes to sleep - that way madness lies.

Do it with gradual withdrawal like you would with a baby. Explain that you're leaving him and will go downstairs to load the dishwasher (or whatever) and you'll pop back to check in 5 minutes, go back and check, then leave for 10 minutes etc etc.

I'm sure it's not that easy but it's got to be a start.

In answer to your question, we try and aim for 7.30pm but it's more likely 7.45 by the time the light's out. Some nights she goes straight to sleep, some she's still faffing about at 9pm - yawn. If she can't sleep after 30 minutes she puts her light on for 15 minutes to read, and then tries again.

I can't be doing with up and down stairs with them. I'm far too selfish with my evenings.

Oh, and she gets up at about 0645 on a good day and 0545 on a bad day (today). Both her and DS (9) seem to self regulate, they'll get between 9 and 11 hours sleep but it's not consistent.

Dts 7 lights out 9pm, wake up 7.30.

This is a very timely thread for me. My nearly 7 year old is awful at bedtimes.

I aim to get him asleep by 9pm but he hates going to bed and I have to stay with him. And often he kicks off and has hysterics (he's afraid of being alone, he hates sleeping, etc.)

He has always been a bad sleeper and had severe reflux until he was 5 years old which didn't help. Add to that sleepwalking, night terrors and almost nightly nightmares, it's not surprising he doesn't like sleeping!

We can now add into the mix abdominal migraines which were only recently diagnosed.

I've tried not staying with him until he's asleep but he just gets out of bed and follows me. NOTHING can make him stay in his room by himself (neither bribes, nor punishment, nor reasoning).

I am totally losing my patience but that doesn't have any effect whatsoever.

His 4 year old brother needs me to stay in his room until he's asleep too...but that usually takes less than 5 minutes!

I really don't know what to do. I feel like I've tried everything (sleep consultant, gradual withdrawal, music, audio books, psychanalyst... we've even moved flats partly so he can have a quieter room and to no longer have creaky floorboards!)

I usually do stories about 7.30 once her sister is asleep. I then let her read for 10/15 mins and she is usually asleep between 8 and half 8.