To ask what time your 7YO goes to bed?

[shoelaces]

Just that really.

I want him up by 7.30am but it's just not working for us right now, and hasn't for a long time.

What time do they go to bed? And what time do they wake up?

Do you let them read in bed by themselves after stories, or is it a strict lights out?

We currently stay in his room until he falls asleep, he gets very upset at the suggestion of leaving him to get to sleep by himself. He is not falling asleep until 9pm - 10pm. We have bath at 7pm, then reading and lights out at 8.20pm as a strict lights out, no exceptions.

Please help me work out how to do this differently so that DH and I actually have some time together in the evenings before falling asleep!

Mine's bed time is officially (and during term fairly strictly) 7:30 - sometimes stretching til 8 if he's reading or allowed 10 mins on his ipad.

Then the lights go off, he rolls over, and he's out until about 6:30 the next morning. He's rarely asleep past 7, no matter how late he's been up, and knows he's not to get up before 6 (but he rarely wakes that early - it's just a hangover from when he'd sometimes do it)

I wonder if you're having too long in the room between going to bed and going to sleep? Perhaps there's not enough of a disconnect. In adults, I've certainly heard it as a suggestion that you keep the bed for sleeping, and only go there when you're going to actually going to go to sleep.

Mine’s 8. He’s in bed between 7 and 7:45 depending on after school activities etc. Sometimes reads for a bit but always asleep by 8. Up at 6-6:30 most days, occasionally closer to 7 but we’re out of the house at 7:15 every day so he’s used to being an early riser.

Dts are seven in a couple of weeks. They go up at 730 during the week, lights off at 8. Recently there has been a lot of chat until around 830 before they go to sleep. They naturally wake between 545-630.

I think now the holidays are upon us we are going to let it go to around 9 if they want in the hope of making them sleep in a bit more in the morning.

My daughter struggles with falling asleep - she gets very anxious when we try to leave her at bedtime. There are a whole load of meditation stories for kids on YouTube, and I will put one of those on for her. Mind you, if she ever managed to sleep in until 6am, I would consider it a lie-in, so I am more concerned with her getting enough sleep, rather than her not waking up early enough.

Usually tucked up by 8pm after a story. Later in the holidays and on special occasions but still up at 6am regardless!

Mine has never in his life been capable of sleeping more than 10 hours at night. No matter age, length of naps (dropped aged 2), bed time, illness, anything.

I would love to be able to leave him to go to sleep by himself but I have no idea how to make that happen.

For ages I thought it was my fault. But his younger brother is a totally different story so i'm not taking it too personally. Still frustrating though

Half 7 on a school night with no reading. Takes a while to fall asleep though.

8 on a holiday night with reading until 9. Still takes ages to drop off.

Wakes up anywhere between 5.30-8 am depending on noise (e.g. birds or someone else moving around the house) or tiredness or comfort (in the heatwave recently they've been waking early and not being able to get back to sleep).

Mine has not long turned 8. She usually is in bed around 8:30-9 and asleep pretty much instantly. We've had to accept that she doesn't need much sleep. We could put her to bed at 7pm all we liked but she wouldn't sleep.
We had the same issue of having to stay until she fell asleep but thankfully we managed to reason with her and she agreed to go to sleep alone. It took a while before it felt easy putting her to bed alone but now I'm even capable of saying "off you go" if she wobbles her bottom lip!

Zeeboo how old was your DD when she accepted going to sleep alone?

My 7 year old on a weekday goes up to bed at 7.30pm then gets a story and is allowed to read until about 8pm.

This was my 7yo daughter till very recently. I started with just saying I was jut popping to my room/ the bathroom and often she’d fall asleep before I went back or I’d go back then leave again on some other excuse/ job. I’d usually do
Something that made a noise so she could hear me pottering. She now will get into bed and read/write and listen to a podcast then put the light out herself. It took a few months a year ago I thought I’d still be sitting in her room when she was 16!

We go up at 7pm with the aim of stories being over by 8pm. 5yo dd2 then drifts off will 7yo dd1 has another 20 mins to read to herself.

Ds is 7. Upstairs between 7 and 7.30, asleep anytime between 8 and 10. Up at 6.30.

I think he naturally needs about 10 hours.

Ds goes up between 6.30/7. Either reads or plays quietly for up to an hour and then drops off.
He's also up at about 6 am every day! I've tried moving his bedtime back a bit in the hopes of sleeping later but it doesn't work. I think he's naturally an early bird. He'd happily get up at 4.30 if I let him!

7, just upped from 6pm. 5 and 7 year old both go at the same time. Both get up around 7:30/8am.

DD is in bed by 9pm during term time, asleep by 9:30-10pm most nights. She needs to be up at 7:40am but often wakes just before that at about 7:30am.

She often isn’t very tired at 9pm, so just chills out with classical music or by reading a book until she is.

In the holidays she’s up much later and sleeps in.

Thanks guys that's really helpful, quite a few similar times. I think I know what we can do. To answer a** pp.
He gets upset so you stay. How long are you going to do this for?
DH says we will do it until DS discovers wanking. not helpful.

And someone else asked about special needs. He is being assessed at the moment, I believe he has a sensory perception disorder as well as being on the spectrum. We have a lot of difficulties with black and white thinking and so on. I need DS to buy in to a change and feel like he's getting something out of it.

Tough love isn't really appropriate for us, he has never responded well to tough love, telling offs or sudden and dramatic changes.

I'll post back when I've worked out what routine I'm going to go with. 🤞😁

We had a slight success last night, because DS was told he couldn't go to the fair today if he messed around at bedtime (Grandma told him as she's taking him).

I still had to sit with him for 30 minutes with music playing and he sat bolt upright the 2 times I left the room (for a drink then my book) but he didn't whinge (or rather he did, but I reminded him about the fair and he stopped).

I'm out of ideas though as I said, bribing, reasoning and threatening don't work so what is left?

He's a very intense child and very anxious so it's definitely related. But that doesn't help

It’s ridiculous
I am a very early riser and not great sleeper.

My son, 7, asleep by 7.15pm latest, awake 7.30/8pm from unbroken 12 hours sleep.

I have to say I can’t relate to your experience with the bedtime shenanigans.

In a similar scenario, I would simply say that I neee to go and have dinner and get oncwoth my evening and he just go to sleep. I would kiss, turn off light and walk out.
If he gets out, I’d frog March back, rinse and repeat

If he gets out, I’d frog March back, rinse and repeat

How do you think that might impact on an anxious child?

As I say, I can’t relate.
My children aren’t anxious so yes, i would seal with it in a very different way.

I don wonder though whether to come extent the anxiety has developed because the parent, by not frog marching back to bed or similar, subconsciously plants the seed that the child has something to be worried about falling asleep alone. Whereas if dismissed as not going to happen from a much younger age, the child accepts that it’s nothing to be anxious about because parent isn’t remotely indulging the anxiety.

Schroedinger's your children sleep for 13+ hours a night?

DS is 7 and has attachment issues which can present like asd, routines, control, sensory issues etc.
The psychologist recommended I do whatever it takes at bedtime to make him feel ok about going to sleep.
On most nights he's asleep by 830-9, some nights with more resistance than others!
Sometimes we watch a few minutes of David Attenborough, or fish in a tank or the CBeebies Daydreams thing which is excellent for calming down... sometimes I read him a story and sometimes we will do the worry cloud - naming your worries then sending them off in different coloured clouds so they aren't bothering you at night.

I'm often asleep by 930, it's knackering and I get no time with DP either!

If he likes the winning / control aspect can you turn it into a rewards based game? He gets a sticker / prize the next morning if he stays in his bed. Build up the distance slowly - wins a sticker if he stays in bed whilst you have a long shower (presuming your bathroom is within hearing shot) as I find the monotonous sound of the shower is good for encouraging mine to sleep. And then gradually increase the distance and time until you are downstairs and your ds is asleep. Sorry if this is too simplistic - bedtime not perfect in our house but is pretty ok