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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Bloody loud kids in the communal pool all day, everyday.

470 replies

DavidBowiesNumber1 · 18/07/2018 14:53

We've recently moved into a new house on a small development - 20 houses, at present only 10 sold, of those 10 only 5 of us are permanent residents.
Not in the UK.
Up until about 3 weeks ago everything was peaceful, harmonious, pretty idyllic. Then the "holiday homers" arrived.
Now, out of the 5 nonresident households, 3 have lots of children ranging in ages of about 1 to 13 years old. Approx' 9 children between them but every day there are friends arriving to spend the day (and sometime night) at the pool.
Now I'm all for kids enjoying themselves and its lovely to see them doing something other than sitting indoors in front of a tv/tablet/phone/games console but AIBU in thinking that the parents (who are rarely at the pool) should A) be keeping an eye on them and B) be telling them to hush down a bit?
All we can hear from morning 'til night (up to 12.15am this morning) is the children shouting, screaming, jumping in the pool etc.
It's incredibly hot here (40c+ in the day, never dips below 32c at night) so all doors and windows are open therefore the noise carries everywhere.
If we want to use the pool we have to dodge bombing children/passing li-los/random balls and floats along with said 'DC'.
We would just like to enjoy our downtime and relax. Is that too much to ask?

OP posts:
JacquesHammer · 19/07/2018 09:43

It's wonderful to raise kids in a culture where they can actually be kids, and have fun

And again. It’s perfectly possible for kids to be kids and have fun without being overly noisy and a nuisance.

No-one has ever managed to give a reasonable explanation as to why those appear to be the only options Hmm

TheHulksPurplePanties · 19/07/2018 09:47

It’s perfectly possible for kids to be kids and have fun without being overly noisy and a nuisance.

Sure, but the culture that the OP lives in doesn't expect kids to be as quiet or restrained as the UK expects its children to be. What people in the UK call "overly noisy and a nuisance", people in that culture think its normal and expected. Why should they change the way their kids express themselves, and change the cultural norm for them, for one person.

Funny, I bet a lot of the people siding with the OP on this thread think that immigrants to the UK should adapt to the culture in the UK.

JacquesHammer · 19/07/2018 09:51

Funny, I bet a lot of the people siding with the OP on this thread think that immigrants to the UK should adapt to the culture in the UK

Not in the slightest, what a bizarre assertion Hmm

What I do think is that culture is not necessarily a large factor when the rules of the development state otherwise.

So absolutely if OP was at a public pool she would have no recourse and couldn’t possibly get annoyed.

But at her home, where she queried just this possibility and was reassured and rules are being flouted she shouldn’t have to put up with the level of noise she described.

fussychica · 19/07/2018 09:54

Not read whole thread but if these particular people are holiday makers won't they be gone in a couple of weeks or are they local people using their holiday home for the entire summer?

Where we rent abroad we go away at peak times because we like it quiet, which it is 80% of the time. We left at the beginning of July and won't return until mid Sept when all the kids from every country are back in schoolSmile

TheHulksPurplePanties · 19/07/2018 09:56

culture is not necessarily a large factor when the rules of the development state otherwise.

Adhering to arbitrary compound rules is indeed cultural. Many cultures don't really respect something unless it's coming from someone they deem "in authority", such as the police forces. Rules like those will be considered "advisory" unless backed up with a security guard or a padlock on the pool.

JacquesHammer · 19/07/2018 09:58

Rules like those will be considered "advisory" unless backed up with a security guard or a padlock on the pool

Cracking advice for the OP to pursue there

TheHulksPurplePanties · 19/07/2018 09:59

Cracking advice for the OP to pursue there

By all means, if she's determined that everyone hates her.

WendyCope · 19/07/2018 10:00

hulk Just go away now. You made your point and you are bordering on the unpleasant.

JacquesHammer · 19/07/2018 10:01

By all means, if she's determined that everyone hates her

Meh. They’re neighbours. It’s not essential for people to like her. I’d rather be able to relax in my own home than be Miss Popularity Grin

WendyCope · 19/07/2018 10:02

Yep JH !

TheHulksPurplePanties · 19/07/2018 10:10

You made your point and you are bordering on the unpleasant.

Biscuit
FatBarry · 19/07/2018 10:10

Some people on this thread are reading it as though the OP is suggesting she doesn't want to see children or allow them access to the pool. She isn't, she is objecting, quite correctly, to unsupervised children screaming in a pool after 10 pm.

Sounds pretty reasonable to me.

WendyCope · 19/07/2018 10:23

Hulk Gin you need it.

unclench your arse.

OP knows what culture she lives in. Wants a bit of respect, that's all. She is not s child hater or a racist or a 'pearl clutcher' so as this thread is upsetting you, leave us to discuss what she can do and share our advice. It is what mumsnet is supposed to be for.

TheHulksPurplePanties · 19/07/2018 10:27

*Hulk gin you need it.

unclench your arse.

OP knows what culture she lives in. Wants a bit of respect, that's all. She is not s child hater or a racist or a 'pearl clutcher' so as this thread is upsetting you, leave us to discuss what she can do and share our advice. It is what mumsnet is supposed to be for.*

LOL, my arse is entirely unclenched. And I don't believe she understands the culture she lives in at all. If you read her comments she has made quite a few ones where it's apparent that she doesn't like children.

As for advice, I told her, call the police. It's the only thing that's going to get anything done. Otherwise, recommend that they get padlocks for the pool or a security guard.

Failing that, maybe she should have some Gin

CharmingHorses · 19/07/2018 10:40

I live in a country with a large ex-pat community and the norm (for locals and ex-pats) is to have domestic help that basically do the lion share of child-care. This is a common problem in pool areas where the domestic help is not allowed. A lot (not all) parents are just not used to supervising their own kids and it leads to absolute bedlam.

I was once sitting at our blocks practically empty outdoor pool, when a family rocked up to host their teenagers 'pool party' - they then just completely took over the entire pool as their own with no regard for anyone else. Parents oblivious. I feel your pain.

Rainhunter · 19/07/2018 14:59

Has OP identified which country she's living in? Have I missed that?

whathappenedtomyusername · 19/07/2018 15:14

Love it when people try to school the op on the culture she is living in, that she is familiar with, but also hasn't disclosed. Grin

Original poster
DavidBowiesNumber1 · 19/07/2018 16:29

Rainhunter & whathappenedtomyusername I haven't said what country but I did mention up thread what the main religion was. I've since had that post deleted as journos were mentioned and that post had some very identifying details in it. Anyone I know in RL would have known immediately that it was me.

OP posts:
Original poster
DavidBowiesNumber1 · 19/07/2018 16:31

Love it when people try to school the op on the culture she is living in Especially when I've immersed myself in this culture for the best part of 19 years, married into and even changed my religion. But what do I know?!

OP posts:
Original poster
DavidBowiesNumber1 · 19/07/2018 16:33

CharmingHorses

I live in a country with a large ex-pat community and the norm (for locals and ex-pats) is to have domestic help that basically do the lion share of child-care. This is a common problem in pool areas where the domestic help is not allowed. A lot (not all) parents are just not used to supervising their own kids and it leads to absolute bedlam We don't have that issue here but I can imagine what problems that can lead to.

OP posts:
Original poster
DavidBowiesNumber1 · 19/07/2018 16:34

WendyCope GrinWineFlowers

OP posts:
DBN1 · 19/07/2018 16:39

JacquesHammer

Meh. They’re neighbours. It’s not essential for people to like her. I’d rather be able to relax in my own home than be Miss Popularity Yes, and as these people will only be here a few months of the year I couldn't really give a toss if they like me or not. They're not our friends. We don't have to see them on a day-to-day basis.

Original poster
DavidBowiesNumber1 · 19/07/2018 16:41

Name change fail! Grin

OP posts:
Puzzledandpissedoff · 19/07/2018 17:21

Why do the parents who can’t control their children think the only options are “total silence” or “scream like banshees”?

Because to do otherwise might mean accepting that they need to do some parenting?

BTW I forwarded this thread to a pal who spent her 30s in a north African country and has since been based in a Gulf state, working as air crew. She said to tell everyone that, while it's true parenting can be more relaxed there, behaviour like this would be just as unacceptable in a residential area as it is in the UK - at least among reasonable people

agedknees · 19/07/2018 17:21

Our urbanisation has a communal pool. It’s open from 10am until 20.30hrs and it’s strictly enforced. I love hearing the kids playing in the pool in the daytime. Disturbing my sleep might be another thing.

I am curious that you are not allowed air con? In 40 degree heat that is just not on. Have you got preinstalled air con but no unit? Are you on 2 or 3 floors which is making it so expensive? Am just being nosey here as we have the air con man coming tomorrow to fit a unit (only one floor so not too expensive).

Get the community head with you. People can have fun, yes, but not at the expense of other people’s well-being.