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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to pay the nanny less when she brings her own kid with her

138 replies

beclev24 · 17/07/2018 23:13

Genuinely unsure- am about to employ a nanny for my baby. Round here rates for a nanny share are 13 per hour, or 20 for one on one. The nanny I've interviewed has told me that she wants to bring her son with her sometimes when he has a day off preschool. I think I should pay less on those days (not the share rate but in between the two rates) but she is adamant it should be the same. Not sure if it makes a difference, but she charges more for the hour if one of my other kids is home (28). AIBU to think I should pay a lower rate when her kid is there? She says my baby will benefit from having another kid around but he already has 2 older brothers and I really want him to have his own time, so not sure this really applies... I am generally a good and generous employer. What do you think?

OP posts:
PitterPatterOfBigFeet · 19/07/2018 18:34

Back to the OP she sounds very difficult so I would't employ her personally. It's ridiculous to charge extra for your extra child but not reduce the fee for days when her child will be there. Either you have a relaxed arrangement where you don't mind an extra child here or there or you don't she can't have it both ways! I would be worried that she would be difficult in general, I also don't think I'd like the situations of her child being there to be honest as I'd worry she'd prioritise her child over yours.

Oldowl · 19/07/2018 18:40

£28 an hour! I'll look after your baby!

I am a primary school teacher with 24 years experience of teaching 30 4-5 year olds each day. Baby-sitting/nannying sounds wonderful. If I am still with you after 4 years, I will teach your little one to read and write for free!!

butterflysugarbaby · 19/07/2018 18:58

Yeah fuck that for a game of soldiers.

Don't employ this nanny. She sounds like an arrogant, CF!

Original poster
beclev24 · 19/07/2018 19:00

oldowl oh my goodness! yes please!! only trouble is we live in the States. Fancy a trip across the Atlantic??

OP posts:
FinallyFree123456789 · 19/07/2018 19:02

I’m a nanny - she’s being so rude and cheeky!
Do not employ her - her son will soon become an everyday child along with your own child.
Secondly; where to you live for £20 per hour?! I’ll come and be your nanny!
I sometimes take my dd to work with me - however it’s because my family want their dd to have someone to play with in the school holidays. Wouldn’t dream of taking her with me on “sick days” or whatever other day my dd may be off school for.
I’m sure you can find another nanny who is just as good - if not who is more understanding and not demanding!

nannygoat50 · 19/07/2018 19:07

Where in earth do you live gnatcyoud pay a nanny £20 an hour?? I am a very experienced qualified nanny and going rate is about £12 an hour. And if nanny brings own child it should be less as she will be using all your amenities and food

user1482956724 · 19/07/2018 19:16

It depends how you view it. If you pay for external childcare, you would pay the same for a class of 2 as you would a class of 10. You would also be expected to pay even if your child was off sick as the place would still be retained.

Do you get paid different rates depending on the work you do? My job is multi level but I get the same hourly rate for menial work as I difficult, challenging work.

Blondeshavemorefun · 19/07/2018 19:23

Yes nannies should charge less if being own child

  1. they spend time with theirs
  2. no childcare costs
  3. your doesn’t get 100% attention

Usually 20% less

Seen you are in USA not uk. Uk varies on age and area but top whack £15/16 gross but many £13 gross

So £11 gross would be fair if in uk

I’ve been a nanny for 25yrs and now a maternity nurse

Nannies are paid per family. Not child

Chickenbhunaandoice · 19/07/2018 19:25

Teachers and doctors don’t take their own children to work...

I think that you did read the thread.That comment was made by another nanny not the OP- I responded to them not the OP.

ChrisNReed · 19/07/2018 20:06

Market says, more kids, more money. Not unreasonable. So the market would assume you pay her more for more kids, but one is her own, so the usual rate would seem reasonable. I agree that it helps socialise all the children. But I can see that it appears a bit cheeky. As for the price, dunno. My advice was always to get three quotes for services. Seems to work well.

Mia184 · 19/07/2018 20:19

If she usually charges 20$ for one child, shouldn’t it then be 10$ if she brings her own child? Half of her attention will be on her child after all.

ineedtostopbeingsolazy · 19/07/2018 20:33

£20 or £28 per hour!! This is her job she should not be bring her child to work. On those rates you're paying her she can afford to put her child into daycare

Ellie56 · 19/07/2018 20:42

Am I being really thick or are you saying she charges you extra when your 28 year old is over? Grin

To be fair, OP' post reads as though the other child is 28. Grin

FeeLock28 · 19/07/2018 20:52

She's taking her child to work. Doesn't really matter where the workplace is. This also means that when her child is ill she'll bring him along so as not to lose a day's pay.

If you're the employer it's for you to offer a job description and find someone who fits it, not the other way around. I don't think you will be in charge in this relationship.

Dizzywizz · 19/07/2018 21:08

Yes I thought the other child was 28!!

Notcontent · 19/07/2018 21:17

The OP can’t be in the U.K.... I employed an after school nanny until last year, in London, and didn’t pay anywhere near the sums being mentioned.it was about £12 gross an hour.

kitchensinkmum · 19/07/2018 21:29

Lots of nannies return to work after they have their own children. It's normal where I live for a nanny to take her own child to work with her during days off school etc. The ones I've met are lovey caring and professional
I'd pay her more because she's had more experience and knows what it's like to be a working mum. Anyone who wants to penny pinch for childcare then you won't get very far. Sorry harsh but true. People who look after other peoples children have bills to pay as well and need to make a living too.

Putthekettleonplease · 19/07/2018 21:40

I would say if you want the same rate then her child stays at pre school or you find someone else. At the end of the day she is never going to give your kids quality of service if her own child is there.

9amTrain · 19/07/2018 21:53

She's cheeky. She's not exactly going to ignore her own child therefore yours won't have 1-1 care. It should be the shared rate.

Pixiedustaway · 19/07/2018 22:03

Please do not hire this nanny! It’s been my experience that things will deteriorate from here! Keep looking!

Loopytiles · 19/07/2018 22:06

Avoid.

Deathstarevicki · 19/07/2018 22:07

Definitely should be cheaper with her own child, she is dividing her time, same as she charges you more for more children because it’s more work for her, but it’s not in your favour having her child ther. You would be doing her a favour allowing her to bring her child with her, not giving you a discount is cheeky and grabby. Keep looking

Tessabelle1 · 19/07/2018 22:08

I wouldn't employ her either! What if she decided to take her child out of pre school once you take her on? Potentially her child could be there the whole time!

Biblio78 · 19/07/2018 22:11

I would check on the ofstead website for clarity. I don't know the ins and outs but I used a childminder years ago when DS was small. She looked after 2 children and her own DD. I always thought that was the main difference between a nanny and a childminder- the first looks after children in the child's own home and a child minder looks after children (can include their own) in child minders own home.
It sounds odd to me that a nanny would want to do that, dong know as I've not used one but check online and ask some nanny agencies for their opinion.
What if her child had an accident or damaged something of yours? It would be a mess to sort out whereas a child minder has public liability insurance as they are self employed. It sounds like a headache to me.

Biblio78 · 19/07/2018 22:17

Sorry OP I just saw that you live in the states so ignore what I said about ofstead and childminders! I have not idea about childcare in the US!