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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

to pay the nanny less when she brings her own kid with her

138 replies

beclev24 · 17/07/2018 23:13

Genuinely unsure- am about to employ a nanny for my baby. Round here rates for a nanny share are 13 per hour, or 20 for one on one. The nanny I've interviewed has told me that she wants to bring her son with her sometimes when he has a day off preschool. I think I should pay less on those days (not the share rate but in between the two rates) but she is adamant it should be the same. Not sure if it makes a difference, but she charges more for the hour if one of my other kids is home (28). AIBU to think I should pay a lower rate when her kid is there? She says my baby will benefit from having another kid around but he already has 2 older brothers and I really want him to have his own time, so not sure this really applies... I am generally a good and generous employer. What do you think?

OP posts:

oliveoiledolivia · 18/07/2018 04:48

I would keep looking. Price should be per family. I had to choose between one to one nanny and nanny with own dc. Not sure how long you’re planning to keep nanny for but I’m so glad we chose one to one. We’ve had ours 5 years now and I just cannot see how nanny having one dc at job would work once the dc are at school. Obviously you can change nannies but we’ve found it a seamless process having chosen a one to one nanny.

My dc also has benefitted enormously from having the one to one time I wasn’t always able to give her. Hth.

oliveoiledolivia · 18/07/2018 04:49

Own dc at job*

famousfour · 18/07/2018 05:37

$28/ph for nannying? Wow. When I was looking for a nanny one nanny wanted to bring her own child without at the full rate on the basis this was a benefit to my children. I didn't see it that way (others might) so I didn't employ her.

Barbaro · 18/07/2018 06:04

Yeah move on. She's planning on bringing her kid with her whenever he's ill, meaning her attention will be on him and not your kid, plus your kid will get sick too. Not a chance.

Nodancingshoes · 18/07/2018 06:11

If you don't want her to bring her own child then tell her she can't. That is perfectly reasonable, most people cannot take their children to work. That will solve the money issue

Justanotheruser01 · 18/07/2018 06:38

If it was strictly a one off, school randomly closes for a day for example i couldn't be too angry especially if the child is of age to just sit and play without much help from its mum if it required more than than id be looking into other options

Mummyoflittledragon · 18/07/2018 06:42

Glad you’ve decided to keep looking. With her attitude and the way she’s talking you, I’d be concerned at how she’d treat your kids. You want someone with compassion and concern. Not someone, who wants to wring every last dollar out of you for the least possible service.

JellyBears · 18/07/2018 06:49

As a nanny myself I have known a few nannies with own children and they charge a lower rate because they are bringing their child to work.

JellyBears · 18/07/2018 06:51

“Childcare is batshit expensive” that statement winds me right up. Why is it that parents value the people given their most precious possessions so low.

Working in childcare is hard work and long hours. I charge what I do because I’m experienced and educated and good at what I do.

Believeitornot · 18/07/2018 06:55

We had a nanny with child. We only kept her because she got pregnant. I wouldn’t employ a nanny wth child because of our experience!

Ansumpasty · 18/07/2018 06:59

Yeah move on. She's planning on bringing her kid with her whenever he's ill, meaning her attention will be on him and not your kid, plus your kid will get sick too. Not a chance.

This. Do you want a child puking all over your house, giving the bug to your family? I’d look for another nanny

eeanne · 18/07/2018 07:02

*“Childcare is batshit expensive” that statement winds me right up. Why is it that parents value the people given their most precious possessions so low.

Working in childcare is hard work and long hours. I charge what I do because I’m experienced and educated and good at what I do.*

It's not that they value their children so low, it's that they can't actually afford the level of childcare that they want. Why blame parents for this? It's a societal issue obviously. It doesn't matter how good you are at what you do, if only a handful of families in your area can afford it then either a lot of nannies are out of work, or you cut your rates.

It's a huge problem don't blame working parents for it.

stopfuckingshoutingatme · 18/07/2018 07:04

Hire someone else OP

She is a CF

Itsnotalwaysfair · 18/07/2018 07:05

Our nanny/babysitter asked to bring her grandson on occasional days. I just said if she had to look after her grandson and could not work that's fine but we'd find alternative care for those days because we want one on one for dd. In this situation it is fine to Stick to what you want.

JellyBears · 18/07/2018 07:06

@eeanne yeah no I won’t be cutting my rates. Lol I find work perfectly fine with my rates thank you. Because I work for people who are willing to pay for decent childcare.

eeanne · 18/07/2018 07:10

@JellyBears you sound lovely.

I have a nanny and thank God she's not got your attitude.

Many people would LOVE a nanny but can't afford it. It's not about willingness. Jesus.

Chickenbhunaandoice · 18/07/2018 07:15

I have a nanny and thank God she's not got your attitude.

I cant see any attitude in what she wrote?

Why should she cut her rates? Would a teacher? A doctor? Would you work for less eeane?

Ironmanrocks · 18/07/2018 07:17

I've not read the full thread - but I am slightly concerned. I know that the law has changed recently, and in a school if your child comes on a school trip with you, you no longer count as a responsible adult as if something happened you would prioritise looking after your own child and not those that you are being paid to watch. Just saying that naturally she may prioritise her own Childs needs before yours - and you are paying. Just not sure if that would work for me.

NotAsGreenAsCabbageLooking · 18/07/2018 07:17

@Jellybear

If you are charging more than people earn... then they’re not going to use you are they? I’d have thought that was pretty obvious.. ‘willing’ doesn’t come into it 🙄

It’s all relative, someone on a very high wage would maybe pay your rates (if they’d not seen your attitude first), but it sounds like you’ve priced a lot out.

InSpaceNooneCanHearYouScream · 18/07/2018 07:22

jellybear plenty of jobs are long hours and hard work. Doesn't mean you can charge what you like.

eeanne · 18/07/2018 07:22

@Chickenbhunaandoice

Why is it that parents value the people given their most precious possessions so low.

That is a horrible thing to say. Not being able to afford a nanny is doesnt' mean you "value your children low." If that's how she sees parents who can't stump for her rates it's a horrible attitude.

Chickenbhunaandoice · 18/07/2018 07:26

If you are charging more than people earn... then they’re not going to use you are they? I’d have thought that was pretty obvious.. ‘willing’ doesn’t come into it

It is unlikely that a nanny will be charging more than a couple earn?

Our childcare was more than I took home at 1 point. But we are a couple and childcare is a joint responsibility

Chickenbhunaandoice · 18/07/2018 07:28

Why is it that parents value the people given their most precious possessions so low.

I think that is true in some cases. I used to visit lots of daycare and I wouldn't have left my dog in some. Some parents don't invest the time on looking for appropriate childcare. The poorest is often not the cheapest.

Gwenhwyfar · 18/07/2018 07:28

"you to set as a condition that your employee

And this. You are the employer. You offer employment at conditions and wages you set."

Well, the employee can always try to negotiate. We're always saying that women should be more assertive in discussing pay, but this nanny is being called 'cheeky' for trying to get what she thinks is a fair wage for herself.

eeanne · 18/07/2018 07:29

And anyway what I said was if a nanny charges more than families can afford, the outcome will be

nannies won't work

nannies will cut rates

That's economics not a career recommendation to the lovely lady.

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