to pay the nanny less when she brings her own kid with her

[beclev24]

Genuinely unsure- am about to employ a nanny for my baby. Round here rates for a nanny share are 13 per hour, or 20 for one on one. The nanny I've interviewed has told me that she wants to bring her son with her sometimes when he has a day off preschool. I think I should pay less on those days (not the share rate but in between the two rates) but she is adamant it should be the same. Not sure if it makes a difference, but she charges more for the hour if one of my other kids is home (28). AIBU to think I should pay a lower rate when her kid is there? She says my baby will benefit from having another kid around but he already has 2 older brothers and I really want him to have his own time, so not sure this really applies... I am generally a good and generous employer. What do you think?

I don't think the two of you are a good fit at all.

It’s important that the nanny is a good personal fit Keep, but even if she’s the reincarnation of Mary Poppins, if you can’t afford to pay the extra (say) ten thousand pounds a year that she’s quoting without getting into debt then that’s a dealbreaker.

Reasonable point, Thomas.

Keep looking, this one sounds a nightmare

We had a nanny with her own child when I first went back to work. While I was fine with her having her child it did have some definite downsides and I wouldn't have done it if there hadn't been a significant discount. When I had dd a little while later there wasn't any suggestion that the nanny got paid more, but she found having three small children too much, especially when her child started pre school so we parted ways. Our next nanny actually charged less (and was fantastic). I'd go on looking OP.

I suspect we aren’t working in GBP.

It’s perfectly fine for you to set as a condition that your employee does not bring her child to work.

That said, I wouldn’t employ this nanny. She sounds like she’s a chancer.

I would keep looking

Nannies should charge per a family not per a child. Also NWOC (nanny with own child) usually have a 1/3 drop in price.

This.

And echo everything everyone has said about her attitude being a red flag.

Has she said how often her DC will join you? What if her DC is poorly and can't go to nursery?

you to set as a condition that your employee

And this. You are the employer. You offer employment at conditions and wages you set.

However, if you aren't in UK, there may be a totally different standard and you'd need to check with a local group i think.

Where do you live?

In London/some parts of the UK nannies are often paid net which is confusing but much less than £28 an hour- even in central London

Are you only wanting a few hours a week?

She either doesn’t see childcare the way you do or she’s going to be a difficult employee. I would thank her for her interest and keep looking.

I would worry about the vagueness of 'bringing him when he's not at pre-school', as well as the wage issues. Presumably that will be all the holidays, when your older child will also be present, and potentially if her child is too ill or infectious to attend pre-school she might bring him with her with the probability that your baby might catch the illness, and a baby with a tummy bug is a miserable and worrying situation.

Bin her off. Use a nursery instead, your DS will have more company nd won’t get too attached to another career that isn’t you. She sounds like a CF tbh.

*and not nd

Ex nanny and agency manager here.

Do not employ her.

I would not let a nanny bring her own child with her. If that happens you are simply hiring a childminder on a nanny’s wage - especially if she charges extra per child! There’s nannys out there who look after four child families - by your potential nanny’s reckoning that would mean paying her £44per hour!!

The main reason that I wouldn’t let her bring her own child is this - she is always going to put her own child’s needs before yours. So if she was ever in a situation where she had to react quickly - for example a house fire - it would be her own child that she grabbed first and ran out with. I’m not condemning, it’s human instinct. But no way would I pay someone to look after my child if my child wasn’t always her top priority.

Keep looking and tell her she’s a CF!

I wouldn't employ her. I'm paying for 100% focus on my child.

She's got a cheek trying to make it sound like a benefit to your/your son.

Absolutely you pay the lower nannyshare rate if your baby is sharing the time and attention of the nanny with another child. She can't dictate this - it's a change of circumstances and it's OK to terminate the employment if you can't agree on this (wouldn't count as redundancy or discrimination - she is only entitled to continue her employ under previous terms ie no own-baby)

Where are you??
I am in an affluent SW London area and my top nanny with lots of diplomas and experiences charges £13 net / h.

I would not hire her.

thanks all. Yes we are in the US so dollars not pounds and also childcare in general is batshit expensive here.

It sounds as though IANBU! hooray! I've decided to keep looking- as people have advised, if there are niggles now, then that will only get worse as time goes on. Thank you for the words of support!

Absolutely if she brings her own children she must be cheaper. My nanny when I was a kid had her own kids with her, as a parent now discussing childcare with my mum she said she got a cheaper rate as that meant the nanny didn't have to pay for her own childcare! Her son and my brother were best friends so it was a good experience but certainly you cannot be paying a premium for someone in that situation. I grew up in the US so if that's where you are now - that's the practice!

Move on find another nanny who either doesn't have kids or who will discount appropriately.

She should reduce her fees by a third. But I wouldn't be happy about it anyway. Far too many demands. She'll be bringing her laundry round in a minute