Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to pay the nanny less when she brings her own kid with her

138 replies

beclev24 · 17/07/2018 23:13

Genuinely unsure- am about to employ a nanny for my baby. Round here rates for a nanny share are 13 per hour, or 20 for one on one. The nanny I've interviewed has told me that she wants to bring her son with her sometimes when he has a day off preschool. I think I should pay less on those days (not the share rate but in between the two rates) but she is adamant it should be the same. Not sure if it makes a difference, but she charges more for the hour if one of my other kids is home (28). AIBU to think I should pay a lower rate when her kid is there? She says my baby will benefit from having another kid around but he already has 2 older brothers and I really want him to have his own time, so not sure this really applies... I am generally a good and generous employer. What do you think?

OP posts:
SmileSweetly · 18/07/2018 07:30

Initially I started reading your OP and thinking perhaps you were being a bit harsh, until I got to the bit about her charging you extra for your second child.

If she insists on keeping her rate the same with her child there, I'd be insisting she found alternative childcare arrangements for her child.

And I'd find a new nanny. She is a CF.

BoxsetsAndPopcorn · 18/07/2018 07:33

I agree, keep looking.

There are more negative sides to a nanny with own child than there are positives. The main positive being it should be more or less half the price of a nanny without own children as it's not sole care. The downsides are their own child will come first, care isnt one to one, who pays for outings, food etc, restrictions on outings due to school runs etc.

NotAsGreenAsCabbageLooking · 18/07/2018 07:35

It is unlikely that a nanny will be charging more than a couple earn?

This is true, but as a former single parent (who had to go onto benefits while studying so that I could hope to afford to put my two kids into childcare at some point while I worked) there would be no way I could afford a nanny. Does that mean I value my kids less than a couple? Or less than a higher earner?

The attitude that only those with money care about their kids is pretty horrible.

flowery · 18/07/2018 07:56

”Working in childcare is hard work and long hours. I charge what I do because I’m experienced and educated and good at what I do.”

No that’s not how it works. You are able to command the salary you do because that is the rate the local market where you are will sustain. Supply and demand.

StepBackNow · 18/07/2018 07:59

Get a more reasonable Nanny. You are an employer not a friend. You get to set the rate.

Ansumpasty · 18/07/2018 08:06

Why should she cut her rates? Would a teacher? A doctor? Would you work for less eeane?

Teachers and doctors don’t take their own children to work...

greendale17 · 18/07/2018 08:11

Don’t employ her OP. She is argumentative and trying to take you for a fool.

Apresshampooing · 18/07/2018 08:15

My nanny had two kids while she was working for us, and they always came along. I think it made it more fun for my two - they could plan activities as a foursome and all got along really well.. It always seemed completely normal to us and I would never have thought or have wanted to pay her less because she brought her kids.

eeanne · 18/07/2018 08:25

It always seemed completely normal to us and I would never have thought or have wanted to pay her less because she brought her kids.

It's more that instead of 1 person watching 1 child it's 1 watching 3. If I did a nanny share with another family to cover 3 children I'd expect to pay less than sole charge. Additionally you are saving the nanny her own childcare cost, so in exchange for that she should be able to work for less.

Unfinishedkitchen · 18/07/2018 08:31

This will not work out well for you. Keep looking.

Wonkypalmtree · 18/07/2018 08:47

Find a different nanny, she sounds like hard work. I have employed nannies (south east) gross pay is about £12-£15ph.

Wonkypalmtree · 18/07/2018 08:56

Also around here the nannies don’t charge more for an extra child, they work for the family and nannies that bring their own children charge less.

Original poster
beclev24 · 18/07/2018 18:39

“Childcare is batshit expensive” that statement winds me right up. Why is it that parents value the people given their most precious possessions so low.

Really? I don't value my child low at all. I pay the going rate, paid holidays, paid sick days, bonuses at Christmas and the nanny's birthday etc etc. I am flexible and generous as an employer. But I think the idea that I should pay the going rate for sole care rather than the rate for a nanny share when the nanny brings her own child to work is not right. It has nothing to do with valuing or not valuing her. It is harder for me when the nanny has her child there and less attention on my child. I would be more understanding of it as an occasional favour if she wasn't so adamant about charging substantially more when one of my other kids is there (also an occasional thing)

OP posts:
TheBlueDot · 18/07/2018 19:17

I can’t belive she charges more to look after your second child. IME nannies have a set hourly rate regardless of whether one or two children are there, sometimes extra if nannying for baby twins or is asked to take cate of someone else’s child too.

Xenia · 18/07/2018 19:26

We found a lot of negatives. After we had our 3rd child ours had her children and we got continuity and our younfest was going to morning nursery anyway (and as she had been with us for a good few years we did not cut her pay but probably did not increase it either so in a effect a bit of a cut with inflation etc). A lot of her attention was then on her babies not our older ones which was quite hard on everyone although on balance worth it to keep her so long.

Strongmummy · 19/07/2018 17:28

Money aside, You need to decide whether you are happy/comfortable to have your nanny bring her child. If yes, then no, you absolutely should not pay her less. She’s still looking after your child and the standard of child care should not be any different. However, in my view she should not be charging extra in the days she looks after an additional child

perfectstorm · 19/07/2018 17:57

I was under the impression that nannies get paid less if they bring their own kids because it's a nanny share for the employer, and a childcare costs save for the nanny? I thought that was the norm.

And nannies get paid a rate for the family, not per child.

She sounds like a childminder, but in your home rather than her own. And far more expensive!

KirstiiieA · 19/07/2018 18:04

I used to be a Nanny and 100% you are in your right to pay less when she brings along her own child.

You seem like a very generous employer and I’m sure if you’re considering looking elsewhere, you will have other Nanny’s fighting for the position :)

Maelstrop · 19/07/2018 18:05

I don’t get why she’s asking for more if one of your grown up kids is there? Why?

codswallopandbalderdash · 19/07/2018 18:08

I wouldn't want a nanny who brings her own child along. I would want said nanny to focus on my children. Look elsewhere

Passonthemessage · 19/07/2018 18:21

Try not to take wage negotiations personally - you want something, she wants something different - if you can't agree, you move on.

gillybeanz · 19/07/2018 18:21

I wouldn't employ her as she probably includes her child's sick days in there, when he is unable to attend nursery.
Obviously, if it's the odd day rather than a whole week, how could you pay less than usual and you'd have to keep adjusting her pay.

Turquoise123 · 19/07/2018 18:22

This does not sound like a professional nanny - I have interviewed many many nannies and worked with many agencies and this has never come up. How would it work when your baby is older and has play dates - would she expect more then ?

Her argument about her child being good for your baby is bizarre as you have other children.

£20 net ( of tax) seems high - as an employer you are liable to pay over the tax to HMRC. If it's a nanny share she could be self employed but if she is working for only you then you are the employer and liable.

Lots of warning signs here - carry on interviewing. As you say you are a good employer so there will be others who want to work with you and are not out for themselves in the same way.

PitterPatterOfBigFeet · 19/07/2018 18:29

No that’s not how it works. You are able to command the salary you do because that is the rate the local market where you are will sustain. Supply and demand.

No you have it completely wrong. There isn't a single rate for every nanny in a given area. If you're highly experienced and come with good references and in some cases qualifications you will be in more demand and able to charge a higher rate. Some wealthy families pay enormous amounts for nannies.

ThisMightAlsoInterestYou · 19/07/2018 18:29

You pay one rate for one on one, otherwise less. If she brings her DC then it's not one on one, so you don't pay that rate.

Personally I wouldn't employ her, this is going to cause friction and is unlikely to go away

Swipe left for the next trending thread