To use the word "naughty"

[speedymama]

DTS are 3 yo and go to nursery. This weekend they chastised me and DH for using that word. They did something that I had asked them not to do and I told them to stop being naughty. DT1 retorted with "don't say naughty, I'm not naughty, you can't say naughty". So I responded with "well stop misbehaving then!"

I spoke to the nursery about this and they confirmed that they are not allowed to use the word naughty because it labels the child rather than the act. Now I'm all for positive parenting but there comes a time when you have to just tell how it is. I don't call my boys name but I do point out their bad behaviour and I also praise them when they are being good. In fact, I praise more than I chastise.

As a child, when my parents told me that I was being naughty, I took notice. Now my 3yo DTS read me the riot act. Well, I will not be dictated to by a toddler and if that makes me a dinosaur in terms of modern day parenting, so be it.

So am I a recalcitrant, anachronistic, old fashioned dinosaur who refuses to indulge the latest fads in parenting as dictated by a bunch of pinko liberal, arm wringing, bleeding heart busybodies?

Hunkermunker [yawn]

this thread is turning quite amusing

You're sleepy, SM.

Stop being sleepy, SM.

I really do think this contempt for nursery staff is out of order. I'm sure some are apathetic and not much cop at their job as can be said of all professions. Lets acknowledge though that it isn't always easy looking after children but it is one of the most worthwhile things in the world!

I think there are some pitfalls with the "you are making mummy sad" line

but ds is shouting in my ear so I can't exactly identify what it is I mean

shall I tell him he is making everyone on MN sad?

oh stop it, no one's showing contempt for nursery workers. i loved mine, i distinctly remember. you're being, er, tetchy.

and as to why I am not working there any more Aitch, well it wasn't because I was asked to leave because I was making the other workers feel inferior with my enormous intellect, if that was what you were worried about

i don't like the sad thing myself, it's a bit creepy and needy i think. 'mummy is goiing to get upset' i don't mind, however. although dd is only 17 months so at the moment we don't get much further than 'no, no, NOOOO' and throwing ourselves between the falling glassware and the child.

lol, franny, they chucked you out because of your wobbly upper arms, i heard.

What dreadful snobs some of you are.

who? who, loveangel? do you mean me?

Your all grounded!

thank you, i agree. i think i am very grounded, mhamai.

Pah! away to the thinking step the lot of you!

We try to say "that was naughty" rather than "YOU ARE naughty", but don't always manage it! There's nothing intrinsically wrong with the word. Sometimes children ARE naughty. It's a fact. And they need to be told, I think.

I think the consequences thing is right, for instance what Thomcat described: "we don't hit because it hurts and makes your sister sad"

but there is the other kind where it is used to control behaviour "if you don't stop throwing your peas on the floor it will make mummy very sad"

I love being told I'm naughty but that's a different thread!

Yes f & Z totally agree! Well put!
Well Aitch I am not tetchy, I just thought you were being a bit superior but there we go I have said my piece and shall leave it there!

mhamai - oo-er!!!

'Naughty'...not exactly 'stupid evil bastard child of mine!' is it? Take a chill pill or ten, please.

Now now, Aitch wasn't being superior, her behaviour was superior

err......

I don't use the emotive stuff - I can't blame DD for ME being sad - that seems rather guilt-inducing

I often say "How would you feel if "

Actually I go for comedy a lot really - I say things like "That's REALLY driving me BANANAS" with annoying toys and whinging which DD thinks is hysterically funny

Also I bark and have a Terrible Look for Serious Moments

"You make mummy feel sad" - I feel should be answered with "Stay there mummy and I'll bring you another Valium"

Sometimes the reason ds should stop doing something IS because of how it makes me feel, though

there is no earthly reason why he shouldn't blow his ruddy whistle all day except that it is annoying me