Should they have just apologised??

[Uddhsosihnx]

Hello i did start a thread but it dissapeared...
To sum up as the last one was long
My ex and father to my son (19mo) remarried when he was a few months old.
His wife always seemed pleasant enough and despite the circumstances I have tried hard to maintain a co operative parent relationship.
The last time DS stayed at theirs i ask how he is in the morning and get sent some pictures and a message (on fb messenger) stating ex was still asleep DS is fine.
However 2 of the pictures are of DS in the sink with no clothes on or bubbles or toys to cover anything and preserve his modesty
So i reply saying he looks like he has had a great time although I have said to ex I dont want naked pictures of my children being taken (i see no need?!) And i especially dont want them sent over the internet or shared anywhere else.
His wife replies saying 'well lets just accept that everyone is different eh'
I was furious at the assumption her opnion was equal to mine never mind more important especially re something like this
Its all spiralled now with ex blocking me after i demanded they deleted the photos
AIBU?

Yes yab absolutely ridiculous

The picture was only sent to you though. YABU.

But they’re being sent to you so I cannot see the problem you are very unreasonable.

Fair enough not to ask,them,to,be shared with anyone.

Yabu, and precious. The photos were sent to you, not posted on the Internet.

Had she shared the pictures publically or just with you? If publically then YANBU to ask them to cover up your son- although your ex is an equal parent so has a right to ignore you.

If it was just sent to you then I don’t see the harm- I’ve got naked pics of my kids on my phone because they are babies and they have gorgeous peachy bums!

Yabu.

If she had posted on social media I would have understood but can’t see the issue sending it to you!

Just about everyone I know has photos of their kids in the bath.

He hasn't put them in the national press, on prime time TV, nor even on FB. I don't see the problem.

Yabu

Yes, totally unreasonable.

You are being ridiculous and such a drama queen.

Nothing nefarious is going on. The kid is betting a bath; not just laying sprawled out naked somewhere. Calm down.

Are they posting them online? No. Is the child being abused? No. This is normal family behaviour and you've been unhinged with your reaction.

She sent them directly to you.

I’ve never met a 19 month old who cared about their modesty.

He’s with his dad. Having fun, being looked after, and they sent you a message to show you he was fine, which they don’t need to do as when he’s in his dad’s care it’s up to his dad what he gets up to, with or without his clothes on.

You can’t dictate to people what goes or stays on their phone.

You need to calm down, your child is fine and being looked after by people who care for him when he’s with his mum and his dad and stepmum.

To be honest I'd block you as well.

Total overreaction.

YABU, they’re not on display, they’ve only been sent to you

Yabu.
Wise up and chill out fgs, what is the actual problem here????

Photographing kds in the bath is normal .
Messenger means it is just sent to you, not put on the internet.
In your situation I would message her and explain you were confused about how messenger works, or you might undo all the good you’ve done maintaining relations with the ex.

Why shouldn’t a father have photos of his baby in the bath? Have you never taken any?

And why would you want bubbles or something to cover his modesty?!

You need to say sorry and ask to move on from the non-issue. A healthy co-parent relationship is incredibly important for a child, do not ruin it over something so trivial.

I doubt they'll be sending you pictures anymore 🤷‍♀️

I agree with you OP, YANBU, naked baby pics are a no no for me, who knows who will flick through photos on her phone and as the child's mother your wishes should be respected.

mairh What on earth is wrong with having photos of your baby naked? And why should mum dictate what dad does in his own time with the child? He’s a parent like the mother is.

YABU, she just posted them to you. He's 19 months not 19 he doesn't care about his modesty.

Thank you all for your replies, its good to get outside perspectives on these things.
To answer some questions,
No iv never taken pictures of my children, step or otherwise or anyone elses in the bath
I dont see why she couldnt just say something along the lines of sorry didnt know you felt that way of course id delete them we have plenty clothed photos of DS
It was his wife who took the photo and ex has daughters from another mum whos partner isnt even allowed to bath them as he would find it 'weird' (his words )
I can see the point about me being precious and in the bigger picture of course its better for DS he is happy and well looked after
It is just difficult to accept that my wishes arnt considered when I would and have acted completely different