Jilly Cooper time

[Disabrie22]

It’s that time of year again - when I want to be a character in a Jolly Cooper novel - and only eat orange and steak for a week so I can squeeze into a too tight dress with a stain I’ve artfully covered with a brooch, after I have drenched myself in scent so I can get off with a dangerous drunk mysterious man who is loaded with cash and will whip me away to San Tropez, where I will only have an old bathing dress with moth in the seat which I keep falling out of. There I will meet a loveable old lech covered in Man Tan and flirt wildly while getting tight after too much gin.

DD was watching Love Island as I was reading this earlier and pondering how different modern day young people are to JC’s heroines.

Nowadays they’re Uber-groomed whereas (with the exception of man-tan) your average JC hero has dirty hair, stained clothes extracted from under a cat/dog/horse and paints her toe-nails rather than cleaning her toes.

I’m a lazy slob so would be a great JC character.

I’m playing a high risk game that demands quick reflexes...listening to Mount (previously unread) with the children in the car 😂😂😂

I actually named my eldest after my favourite Jilly Cooper character - and Jilly is an absolutely lovely lady, all you would imagine!

Tosses tortoiseshell hair and sprays self with perfume whilst squeezing into a pair of white denim cut offs...

yes, the grooming involved in being orange, having acrylic finger and toe nails kept in good condition, those really long eyelash and hair extensions, dyeing your hair, tooth whitening and straightening, deforestation of every bit of body hair, it'd wear anyone out! Bring back the 80s standards.

I'm reading Polo, for the n'th time, and I got quite upset when Drew's son was born, knowing what happens to him in Iraq!

agatha I can see why, he's very aristocratic looking! I see a new trend in our household - we do have a Daisy already!

Is it cunt-ricide if one murders one’s husband’s mistress?

I am clumping briefly into the thread as a red headed stunning teenager going through a goth rebellious phase and hiding my talents under a bushel. I will reappear later on under a different name with the exact same characteristics but this time rather than shagging the teenage son of the local millionaire I will instead inexplicably settle down with a middle aged northern business man (also a millionaire) who has to have his accent transliterated for authenticity purposes.

Is it just me that has to skip the very start of Polo, because I can't bear to read about the car crash? And who also feels a tad about Ricky F-L being seen as some kind of tragic hero when he essentially got pissed and killed his son?

I love a bit of JC, I really do, but there are a few wince-making moments, it must be said...

I love, love, love Riders, Rivals and TMWMHJ but sorry St Jilly of Cooper, the stuff since then just hasn’t been as good and the whole “buttercunt” thing was cringe de la cringe.....

I know what you mean spudlet, i hate that the son died. Isn't that the problem with mistakes, that the severity of the mistake depends on the consequence? Plenty of people drink drive and in the 80s even more people did. I do find JC more forgiving of things we would write someone off for these days, and like you say there are other scenes that haven't stood the test of time, but you'd expect that.

It's mostly the descriptive writing that is so good, isn't it, you feel you can really imagine what all the scenes and people look like.

I've just been out to lunch where I lasciviously sucked on prawns in mayonnaise while the waiter couldn't keep his eyes off my tanned, full breasts as they kept escaping like puppies.

Lucky you, I'm on a diet and lunch was half a grapefruit and cottage cheese.
At least I've got my Danielle Steel to curl up with later, once my husbands hordes of dark eyed children are in bed and he's gone out to dress his mistress up as a pony...

Does anyone actually use Badedas bath gel?

I always wanted some!!

Last night, I lay in my big metal-framed bed with two dogs snoring beside me. The starlight shone through the open curtains of the window in the two-foot thick stone walls of my cottage as the river gently burbled nearby. I felt hot breath on my face and silky hair brushed my cheek as I was held down by the shoulders... Then my face was thoroughly washed by my other dog.

I have used Badedas bath gel, a long time ago. I seem to remember it smelled rather medicinal.

Does anyone fancy looking down their Grecian nose with their scabious blue eyes at a bumbling, awkward girl who has the audacity to weigh over 9 stone later? I think I might do so before taking of my bra so that my tits bounce invitingly while I ride 6 polo ponies down the village high street at rush hour. I'm sure to hold up the rolls of an elected official holding some minor local seat. He'll turn apoplectically puce and start formulating a plan with a local busybody stuffed into a tweed sausage casing to sell off the local polo fields to a developer looking to build a frightful shopping centre.

I've got Badedas bath gel!

I'm off to wash my hair as it's the only way I can get the gardening dirt out from under my fingernails. Sigh.

LOVE this thread. Rivals, Emily and Imogen are my favourites, total comfort reads.

OP. Amazing. I've literally just re-read Prudence and Imogen, and Emily, Harriet and Octavia are next. (But never Bella, am not a fan of Bella).

When I'm blocking out my bosses diary, I use various Jilly Cooper men from these novellas, and the ones currently in use are Ace Mulholland and Kit Erskine

Oh, and my computer hard drive is named Antonia Fraser after the cat in Prudence

I have a vintage set of these books from the 70s with Jilly Cooper in soft focus on each cover. They're far too dear to me to actually read so I have mass produced late 90s versions for that!

Right. Off to read the rest of the thread now.

I have Badedas :) Recently discovered Badedas shower gel as well, which has made me very happy because DH took the bath out and replaced it with a big double shower.

My username on here is from Rivals, Caitlin goes off to school with a yucca plant called Kevin.

Off to leave my make-up artist friend dog sitting so I can clamber into a red dress, go to the hunt ball with a notorious rake and make RCB very jealous...

I'm going to a party in a silver minidress, crotchless knickers and a fur coat which I ordered on approval and have no intention of paying for.

If I really misbehave myself, I'm hoping some dishy man will drag me off to the stables and spank me.

I've just been out for an evening walk with the dog, returned home flushed and sweaty but sadly no local studs crossed my path as I picked my way through the brambles. A man outside the chip shop did whistle at me though. Or maybe at the dog.

Have been googling silver flying suits. Please send help...