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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Wedding present- wanting views please

96 replies

Felixandtheflippers · 15/07/2018 12:14

Been invited to a wedding in the summer. I have heard through the grapevine that they would like money as a gift. I am unsure of how much is an acceptable amount and would like some views please! It is a single invite (so just myself going) and we are in Scotland (and I have been invited to the whole wedding). I currently earn £22k a year so not hugely rich but also not permanently skint! I was thinking £30-40 but I don’t know if this is too low an amount? Would really appreciate some views on what people think is an acceptable amount in this situation. Thanks in advance.

OP posts:
Original poster
Felixandtheflippers · 15/07/2018 12:14

Sorry- not really an AIBU but posting for traffic.

OP posts:
thedevilinablackdress · 15/07/2018 12:15

Absolutely fine.

HumDingIt · 15/07/2018 12:18

You say you've heard 'through the grapevine', so they didn't put anything on the invitations?

I would ignore the grapevine and do whatever you would normally do.

My friends got HONY books and they loved them, not expensive but brilliant.

ReasonableLlama · 15/07/2018 12:19

Sounds good to me. What have they put on their invite re:gifts?

We didn't specify anything and most people gave money ranging from £10 to £100. Some didn't give a gift or money at all but whatever people did or did not give was fine by us.

Sleepyandtired21 · 15/07/2018 12:20

I would probably give £50 and I’m on about £18k a year. I just think it’s a neater amount but I wouldn’t be offended by £30/40 either. So just give what you’re happy with and have a lovely time

annandale · 15/07/2018 12:21

I think £30 is ample.

TheNoseyProject · 15/07/2018 12:24

What’s a hony book @humdingit? I’ve had a google but no joy.

Flaminghaggis · 15/07/2018 12:25

Sounds fine

greendale17 · 15/07/2018 12:25

£25/30 is fine

Motoko · 15/07/2018 12:26

My friends got HONY books

What on earth are HONY books?

OP, give what you can afford. How much is it going to cost you to go to this wedding? Do you have to travel far/pay for a stay in a hotel?

iklboo · 15/07/2018 12:27

Is it Humans Of New York?

XiCi · 15/07/2018 12:28

I usually work on £20 for an evening invite and £50 for day invite.

iklboo · 15/07/2018 12:28

Personally I wouldn't give books unless I was absolutely sure of the recipients' reading tastes.

Flaminghaggis · 15/07/2018 12:28

I’d give humans of NY books to a charity shop. Soz.

Grumblepants · 15/07/2018 12:30

We got gifts of mainly £30 from couples who were day guests and on good combined wages. It's the thought that means a lot, not the amount.

Original poster
Felixandtheflippers · 15/07/2018 12:32

Many thanks for all the replies. The wedding is local (ish) I won’t have to pay for a hotel or anything and can drive there/home. They didn’t ask for anything with their invite. I will have a google for the HONY books. Thanks to everyone. I know I would be more than happy with any gift given to me (im easily pleased!) so it’s good to here from others.

OP posts:
blackbirdbluebottle · 15/07/2018 12:36

I usually give £10 for a night do and £20 for the whole day

XiCi · 15/07/2018 12:38

Just seen that you're not going as a couple so £30-40 is absolutely fine. If they have asked for money I'd just give that instead of wasting money on a gift they may not want.

Loonoon · 15/07/2018 12:39

I would give your £30/£40. It sounds very generous. They can then buy HONY books if that’s what they would like.

Shoxfordian · 15/07/2018 12:39

If it said nothing in the card then just take a bottle of wine or something

XiCi · 15/07/2018 12:42

If it said nothing in the card then just take a bottle of wine or something

Seriously? For going as a guest for day and evening to the wedding of a close friend?

TwoBlueShoes · 15/07/2018 12:42

I think 30-50 pounds is absolutely fine. Most brides and grooms seem to prefer cash gifts these days. I don't see a problem with it.

yikesanotherbooboo · 15/07/2018 12:43

I don't agree with shox.
I agree with pps, £30.00 is plenty or buy a present that you think they will like.

Shoxfordian · 15/07/2018 12:47

Wine can be £30
Or champagne

I dunno, it seems odd to hear through the grapevine that they want money, there's usually a beloved mumsnet poem to that effect if they do so I'd give them a present instead.

TowerRingInferno · 15/07/2018 12:48

£25/30 is plenty.