Wedding present- wanting views please

[Felixandtheflippers]

Been invited to a wedding in the summer. I have heard through the grapevine that they would like money as a gift. I am unsure of how much is an acceptable amount and would like some views please! It is a single invite (so just myself going) and we are in Scotland (and I have been invited to the whole wedding). I currently earn £22k a year so not hugely rich but also not permanently skint! I was thinking £30-40 but I don’t know if this is too low an amount? Would really appreciate some views on what people think is an acceptable amount in this situation. Thanks in advance.

£30 is absolutely fine.

I think if they haven't put anything on the invite they would be happy with anything and £30/40 sounds perfect!

Ask the bride/groom if they have a wedding list, if they say cash for something £30-£40 is perfect for a friend.

£30 is plenty imo.
I don't think many couples really want gifts now, I haven't been to a wedding with a gift list in a long time, it's usually money, no gifts at all or charitable donations round these parts.

Yup. £30/40 perfectly fine in my book.

i would say £40/£50 for you being on your own. would go towards £50 if its an option :)

You give what you can afford.

Personally, unless I was definitely told by someone I believed actually knew, I would give something like a vase rather than dosh, especially if I could not afford a great deal.

It's more about who is getting married frankly. A sibling or your best friend, you tend to give more. A relative you don't really know, such as a cousin you see once every few years, a bit less.

The £30/£40 mark is perfectly fine. It's a gift, not a tax!

Please don't be like this poster who was claiming the value of her gifts were based on what she thought the value of the venue was! So she claimed she would give a lot more for a wedding at Claridge's than a wedding in the local church hall...

30-40 is fine.

I usually give approximately what we would spend on a night out. So if you’re older or well-off, maybe closer to £50. If you are neither, £25-30. If you are really skint, a card would be fine. One of our guests made us a heart out of buttons and wire (she’s crafty, it looked much better than it sounds), and we still have that ten years later. Can’t have cost her more than £2 in materials.

I wouldn’t benign a bottle of wine though, it’s a wedding not a house party. Champagne maybe, but we did end up with six bottles of champagne after our wedding, plus the leftover bottles from the wedding itself so it may not be that memorable a gift IYSWIM (we didn’t need to buy more alcohol for the rest of the year ).

For a couple I’d give £100 so at least £50 . I think £30 is a bit tight tbh

I'm on 30% higher salary than the op and I think £30 is fine.

If they are going abroad for a honeymoon, £30 in the relevant currency feels more festive.

Please don't be like this poster who was claiming the value of her gifts were based on what she thought the value of the venue was! So she claimed she would give a lot more for a wedding at Claridge's than a wedding in the local church hall..

I absolutely second this view. I loathe the whole 'cover your plate' way of thinking. It's the bride and groom's decision how much to spend on their wedding, not the guests' responsibility to cover their costs for them. Give what you can afford - I also agree with a PP who mentioned giving them a thoughtful card with a nice message: that's the type of thing that stays in the wedding memory box a lot longer than the 2 plates that your £30 went towards buying.

£100 for a couple so £50 for one person. I think you should at least cover your plates. I would never rock up to a wedding with a bottle of wine. It isn't a dinner party! Also don't just take a card it's really rude.

Surely it matters how much the op earns! This is why a good wedding list has a big choice from £5 up imo.

I think 'cover your plate' is awful. Give the wedding you can afford, invite the people you like not the rich ones. And I don't see how any wedding present is for one person.

£30 is absolutely fine. I hate the attitude of you have to give a set amount or you're mean. You give what you can afford. We only gave £100 to DH's son when he got married as it was all we could afford at the time.

People would have only heard on the grapevine that we were asking for money as we didn't put anything in the invitations. We didn't like the idea of poems and felt that if anyone wanted to give us something they would either ask us or my mum, which they did. Other than BIL and SIL who didn't give us anything and moaned there wasn't enough food!

Really appreciate all the replies and glad to know that the amount I had originally thought isn’t too little.

I would just ask the couple if they would like gifts. If they do want money I'd recommend doing a bank transfer rather than cash in an envelope myself as I'd be too worried about it going missing!

I’ve just gifted £150 my nephew. My partner, son and I going to the wedding. Son is a groomsman and I’m doing a reading. Would have liked to have gifted more but budget doesn’t allow.

Such a difference with UK weddings to here. It's €150-€200 minimum here for a couple.

I hate getting wedding invites. By the time you've hair, makeup and outfit done and then a present (the going rate) 😑

Smell what do you do if you can't afford that? Do you just not go? I gave £100 to my niece when she married but that was a huge stretch for us. I'm afraid friends and cousins are lucky to get £30.

Covering your plate is such an ugly idea in my opinion. I've paid for what I want and would much rather my guests came and enjoyed themselves than worried about whether their gift cost what I've paid. We've asked that people give to a couple of nominated charities in our names rather than gifts but I don't really mind if they do or don't, how much they spend, etc as long as they come and celebrate our marriage with us.

I’d personally go with £50 or £30 plus a token gift maybe?

It's €150-€200 minimum here for a couple
In which country is that?