WIBU to offer this to dh's niece?

[Alicezander]

My husband was the only one in his family to go to university - his parents didn't go, though both would probably have been clever enough to go had it been financially/socially possible at the time, and his brother and sister didn't go. His sister has one daughter, our niece, who was never very academic, and left school shortly after GCSEs and had two children in her early 20s.

We don't see my husband's sister or his niece or great nieces very often, but we hear through my MIL that both dh's great-nieces (who are now in year 4 and year 6) are doing really well in school.

One of our daughters is currently at The university and we were wondering whether it would be a good idea to offer for her to take dh's two great nieces on a tour of the university in October/November, so that they can get an idea of what university means and what it's like. Nobody in their immediate family (parents, aunts, uncles, grandparents) has gone to university, so I suppose it might show them a world they might not previously have considered.

Do you think it would be ok to offer this idea of a day out for her children to dh's niece? We don't want to appear at all rude, or like we're suggesting that she can't help her children aim high by herself.

The thing is, imo, kids shouldn't be growing up wanting to go to university because they want to go to uni. They should go because it's the best thing for their chosen career.

Growing up with 'wow that uni was amazing and I want to go' but without a purpose is pointless.

I don’t understand why going to university seems to be the be all & end all here. I didn’t go & have a good job in the banking industry. My brother didn’t go & he is an aircraft engineer. My parents didn’t go & have ran a successful business for 40 years. If the children express an interest to going in a few years by all means take them for a visit but when their this young it seems silly

I don’t understand why going to university seems to be the be all & end all here.

I think the OP thinks that her nieces might not consider university an option, as they haven't had much exposure to the idea (in her view.) We can argue whether this comes from snobbery or not, but I think her intention is to ensure they're considering university as a possibility, rather than trying to force them to go there.

rosesandflowers1 You don't know my BIL and SIL (or indeed other members of that side of the family). We are the poor relations in their eyes and they enjoy making sure that we know it. They are all roaring snobs, and the English teacher works at a v posh private school. I've known them quite a long time now and they are what I can only describe as social climbers who look down their noses at us and make continual barbed comments. We already had all of the books I mentioned, I'd kept them - and a lot of other classics - from my own childhood.

They are all roaring snobs, and the English teacher works at a v posh private school. I've known them quite a long time now and they are what I can only describe as social climbers who look down their noses at us and make continual barbed comments. We already had all of the books I mentioned, I'd kept them - and a lot of other classics - from my own childhood.

It did seem that there must be some backstory! Apologies if I came across unkindly

I think the OP thinks that her nieces might not consider university an option, as they haven't had much exposure to the idea (in her view.)

Yes in her view. She doesn't have much contact at all. And they are young children. Why should they be considering this now?

It's not just snobbery, it smacks of 'oohhh our daughter went to uni so let's ensure everyone knows about it.'

The dd goes to uni, she sees the children. She can take them if they wanted to see it or have a day out. I don't get why the OP or her dh have to be involved at all.

So you want to educate your plebian neices about day to day university life?

Hmmm i went to university as a mature student. This is where i learnt how to drink!!! The student bar is an absolute must as is student nightclub. Oh and the "round the world shot parties" fantastic. I managed to walk away with a 2:1 honours and a PhD but my main memories are the hangovers. Dear God the hangovers!!

I suspect this is not ehat you are wanting to portray to your neices and yes the learning was good too but they are too young. They may or may not gp to uni. Let's face it most people do these days but back in my day it was unusual and actually there are plenty of great careers out there thst dont require it.

Shlepping a couple of kids round lecture halls and a library - yawn

Don't, they are too young.
Through necessity we took youngest ds age 11 on a couple of uni visits with eldest ds. He was utterly bored.

niknac1 are you actually taking the piss?! Just because they didn’t go to uni doesn’t mean they don’t buy books ffs

I did not suggest the children’s parents did not buy books, I suggested books could widen a child’s horizons.

Please don't! So condescending and school will provide lots of opportunities like this.

You hardly see them, know little about them, they're in primary school. I'd expect the high school to talk about uni. You come across patronising and snobby

I think it's a great idea and you don't have to do it in a overt way. "Let's go and spend the day with our daughter, pizza for lunch, see what she's doing and where she's living" sort of thing.

Normalise it. Make Uni seem like an option, not something what "other people" do. You don't have to lay it on thick.

Too young imo - maybe your DC could do a tour when the kids are older even if they have left uni by then?

Many universities now hold visit days for Y6 and upwards to encourage students from all backgrounds about the opportunities available.

I used to work for a RG uni that had lots of facilities open to the public and also held regular community open days and events. Tbh, at that age my DC were more impressed that my office had sensor activated lighting than planning their future goals. If there's an event going on then it would be lovely to invite them along, a regular day on campus isn't going to be that exciting.

Kids visiting new places and getting to know new people is always horizon broadening, why would anyone think otherwise?

I did this exact thing with husband's numerous nephews and nieces, where they visited us and we incorporated a visit to local universities into their visits. They loved it, going to the cafe, seeing the old and new buildings, seeing all the posters of student life etc.
my husband was keen to do it because he knew one of the main reasons he went to university was because a teacher told his mum when he was 3 that he was clever and could go. This set expectations for him. He isn't necessarily any cleverer than his older siblings, but this was the path and expectation for him.

All the nephews and nieces are in or shortly to start in various unis now, and all remember their trips to see them with us as children with fondness.