Help... whats happened???

[Pippa12]

My lovely 2yr old fireball of a little boy has dropped his daytime nap (not a problem... honest ) and putting up the biggest protest at bedtime. Previously he has had 6oz milk, straight into cot and self soothed himself to sleep...until last week. Now he cries at the sight of his grobag and cries for 15-30minutes before eventually settling. Other than lying on his floor while he falls asleep (which im not prepared to do!) nothing settles him. Ive resorted to crying it out, admittedly im a complete beginner but it does not seem to be helping. We've just had another 20minutes of hysteria before bed. Aibu to let him CIO and anyone any tips about where its all gone wrong!!!

Why won't you stay with him for a while?

Do you read a story? Is he tired?

Is bedtime the same as it was when he still had the nap? Maybe it needs to be a bit earlier?

Thanks for replying. Hes not a reading story type but i do sit with him for around 10 minutes on a chair by his bedside, i feed him still (i know i know he should be off the bottle but iove this time!) and sing lullabies. Hes exhausted as hes gone from 2hrs+ nap to maybe 30mins in pram etc. I dont want him to end up him not being able to self soothe etc... i dont know... i feel like im getting it all wrong all of a sudden. I can't stand him going to bed upset but dont think being held hostage in his room for (litrally an hour!) Is great when i have other children to put to bed and hubby at work. Difficult

He goes down 6:45/7pm. I did wonder if he's over tired... he litrally does not sit still... ever!

Gosh what a sad thing 'he's not the reading story type' all children are the reading story type, surely!

he's not a reading story type?

Have you actually tried reading to him or just looking at a book and talking about the pictures?

yes i genuinely have tried reading stories with him... he prefers to paint/colour/fix and play. Ironically Ive just returned back to mumsnet after reading my others 2 stories each. Im genuinely not averse to reading stories... he just doesn't like it hence why i sing and cuddle with him.

I would just sit with him till this phase passes, he won't be broken or unable to self soothe if you just help him for a wee while

How about a cd of stories? He does sound overtired though, I don’t suppose he’d sleep in the car/buggy for a bit if he won’t have a proper nap?

Do you sit with them till they fall asleep? He does settle, but only till i try to leave even after 30 mins etc. Its not that i dont want to stay im just curious at what others do? Unknown territory for me as mine have always been great sleepers.

Now im feeling terrible hes gone to bed crying and ive not forced Hansel and gretel on him...

@TheHauntedFishTank yes he's taken to snatching naps in car/buggy. I dont mind him dropping his nap as he's a pleasure to have around but im wondering if this is the root of his problems.

Oh and DS has one of those nightlights that projects stars which he loved at that age so he had dark room, sleeping bag with legs (suddenly hated being restricted in a normal one), cd and night light. We still had phases of him being awful at bedtime but tweaking the routine and waiting til the phase passed helped. Also

FGS just sit with him. You’ve said it works; why aren’t you prepared to do it? Seriously, is your 2yo not worth this small amount of your time?

It doesn’t last forever, you’re not making a rod for your own back. He’s just having a little blip and you need to reassure him that you’re there and will help him see it through.

Do you know a projector is a fab idea... he has a star one but maybe something a little more age appropriate. I hope it isn't his grobag... ive just forked out £25 for a super light one in case he was too hot/cold/unfamiliar without one on hot nights. Thanks for the tips, im going to hunt for a projector.

I'll ignore that comment

Yes YABU to just let him cry it out. What's wrong with you? He is a very young child in need of some comfort. Why on earth don't you think he deserves that? You are teaching him that he cannot rely on you to meet his needs. For goodness sake show your child some love.

Good god... cheers for the tips hauntedfishtank. Your a

My DD at two yrs old went through something similar but I would suspect overtired and needing to wind down - if not books can music help to sooth or as others have said lights etc. The gro bag thing may be as he has got to hot in this weather. He is old enough to regulate temp himself these days so a cover might be more suitable for him so he can choose on or off etc

Some lovely comments on here.... So supportive.

Yes thinking about it it did start when the hot weather began... im just worried about him getting cold in the night. He seemed to feel better in his grobag, i assumed he felt 'safer'in the cocoon if you will. But ill try a blanket tomorrow night. Thanks for the tip.

Oh look the perfect mothers are all out to play!

DS is 18 months and since he turned 1 has been really tricky to get to sleep. We have to time it exactly right, as in a 20 minute window, to get him upstairs, bath if he’s having one, PJs on and a bottle in his mouth otherwise all he’ll breaks loose. He also does not like stories at bedtime. He sometimes likes them in the day but every time I’ve tried a night time one he has cried and attempted to close/throw the book.

I would maybe try a projector or a really calm, new routine? Is he ready for a big boy bed yet? If so, I would let him choose some stuff (duvet cover, new cuddly toy, PJs). Then have some lovely calm songs while you feed him (in the bed) and you say night night, lights off, projector still going for 10 mins, then that goes off and you leave the room. Might work?

If he’s not ready, you could still try some of that. I know if DS is overtired he’s a nightmare to get to bed, so it’s all about spotting his cues and getting him upstairs at the right moment, whether that’s 6.15 or 7.45pm!

Don’t worry about making a rod, as other PPs have said it might just be he wants you there at the moment. DS gets like this quite often and I just sit in the doorway and read until he goes off - I’m there but not interacting. Sending bedtime is hard!

PeakPants im thanking my lucky stars right now i dont take things to heart... god help those that do.

First thing you’ll need to do is develop a thick skin I think for some of the comments you’ll get

My son’s not a story type either - not remotely interested (he’s not in the slightest bit interested by the television too) but obviously that’s just because I’m a terrible mother and have never tried reading to him

I would also suggest trying an earlier bedtime if he’s dropping his nap. But mostly came on just to wish you luck

I think you need to help him wind down.

I would stay with my kids for a good while at this age until they were sleepy, sometimes reading a book, sometimes singing lullabies, or stroking their hair, talking softly, saying rhymes, telling made up stories, keeping things gentle and soothing so they got into the "sleepy vibe".

It;s part of teaching them.

I have never left my kids to cry at bedtime.
Not for one second.

Another MN thread with a not unusual issue and lots of spiky comments based on nothing the OP has said. Is MN under attack? This seems to be happening with regularity.

OP we had similar. Lunch nap refusal was often causing the problem. I have to say I ended up resorting to the car at lunchtimes at least so we didn't have more than 3 days with no lunch nap in a row. Just to push the break into the day so she couldn't get massively overtired. Now she naps about 5 days out of 7 as per previous. That seems to have dealt with it.

Now it's v hot we've ditched the bag as I thought it was a good opportunity but if it was a dealbreaker then I wouldn't.