Help... whats happened???

[Pippa12]

My lovely 2yr old fireball of a little boy has dropped his daytime nap (not a problem... honest ) and putting up the biggest protest at bedtime. Previously he has had 6oz milk, straight into cot and self soothed himself to sleep...until last week. Now he cries at the sight of his grobag and cries for 15-30minutes before eventually settling. Other than lying on his floor while he falls asleep (which im not prepared to do!) nothing settles him. Ive resorted to crying it out, admittedly im a complete beginner but it does not seem to be helping. We've just had another 20minutes of hysteria before bed. Aibu to let him CIO and anyone any tips about where its all gone wrong!!!

Is he litrally not a reading story type?

Sometimes it only takes one nasty comment to turn a thread into a 'Who can be the biggest arsehole' competition - Thankfully sensible posters arrived before people got too carried away. :o

Some brilliant advice here. Both my DS's were hot, sweaty babies who found settling hard when it was hot - It's really humid here is it the same where you are?

A blanket and pillow definitely sounds like the way to go.

Good luck!

I hope you find a solution that works, and quickly....it's hard when you're there on your own and there's more than one child who needs your attention to go to bed.

As for reading, my oldest loved a story (I can still recite Peepo by heart as I read it so many times when he was small and he's 21 now) and grew up loving to read. His younger brother was the opposite. If I sat him down to read he'd shut the book as I held it after a page or two and get down to go and play. He was always too busy for a story. He's now 18 and still has no interest in books. It's just how they are isn't it.

If he’s dropped his lunchtime nap, I’d put him to bed much earlier - try 6pm.

Thanks so much to each and everyone of you that were so kind to reply with help and advice. My lovely hubby has just rung to check how we got on and was bombarded with suggestions of projectors/duvets/toddler beds/light bulbs/cds/moving beds/quiet times/afternoon naps ... i cant thank you all enough. I really felt like things were getting on top of me (whilst reading stick man and what the ladybird said to my other book deprived children that i previous haven't even bothered to read to until some kind mumsnetters suggested it tonight!) I feel armed with suggestions to return to a usual lovely and relaxing bedtime with my lovely children... who i certainly do have the world of time for

That escalated quickly! Good luck Pippa and remember it’s just yet another phase

Your DS might just "sleep hot" - my DD was like that from a young age. Try putting him down in a t-shirt or onesie with a nappy and get him a lovely soft blanket he'll want to snuggle under. I hope you get it figured out!

My experience there (which might help).
When dc was I retired, he couldn’t sleep. So my first instinct would be that he has dropped his nap and Ian too tired in the evening. I would try an doubt him in bed a bit earlier to see how it goes.

And then with an unsettled child, I have just lied on the floor next to his cot until he was asleep. Actually I even had my own pillow next rings ed to make it more confortable. It never lasted more than 10 mins and gave me a bit of a rest too

My ds dropped his nap around 2 years old and so I would put him to bed at 6pm as I found that he would just get so over-tired if he went to bed any later, Which would result in tantrums and a huge crying session!!
I also found that my ds loved nursery rhyme books at that age (anything too long at that age and it would lose his attention) we had a little set of 4 mini hardback books and he’d get to choose the one we read each night.
we would then sing them together and that became our little bedtime routine.

I’d let him cry. It might only take a night or two.

None of my kids napped in the daytime but I got them in the habit of having a quiet hour or two in the afternoon. It was for my sake as much as theirs. 😂. I sometimes put on a story tape or a movie and I’d put out quiet toys such as puzzles or LEGO. It worked really well with my kids. I’d more or less refuse to play or chat with them too. I know that sounds horrible but I had four kids within 5 and a bit years and I needed a bit of space too. I also think it was really good for my kids as they learnt to play on their own. After quiet time I would make sure we did something fun together where I really gave them my time and attention. It worked best when they were three’ish but I started earlier and carried it on until they went to kindergarten.

Some children don't like books, or stories at bed time, I don't know why some people don't seem to accept that. One of my 5 didn't like a story at bedtime, he is a total bookworm now! Op I think your lo has just outgrown his current bedtime routine, bottle and a growbag seems very babyish at two, but maybe that's just me. As a pp said it's trial and error what works at this age, I would try out some of the suggestions on here and see how it goes. It's bloody hard though, especially when your other DC want you too.

This is probably really obvious but are you sure it’s not just the heat?

My DS used to love lying in bed listening to me or my DH make up stories about him and a little playmate he had at the time going on adventures together, ie Sam and Luke go in a rocket, go to the zoo etc (not real names!) He used to love it and you could see him gradually getting sleepy. May be if you tried personalising the stories it might catch his attention?

DS is 18 now and he still remembers the adventure stories of Sam and Luke!

Do teddy talk. They get engrossed and very engaged. Then teddy tells ds that teddy is tired and needs a cuddle and the light off. DS used to grab his teddy and cuddle up to him. Job done. Every one happy.
At 2 books were more activity books so I didn't read until he was a bit older.
Teddy talk is when you hold the soft and make it look like they are chatting and doing actions. It's very amusing too

IDK if someone already suggested this but grobag do 0.5 together sleeping bags for the summer, would that be anything? My kids used to use them, I remember one night we put them down in the 3 tog ones and they didn't fall asleep, the temperature in their room was 23 degrees that night, so at 22 or so I would switch to the1.5 tog and at about 25 degrees switch to the 0.5.

Also laughing at the "oh so sad, all children love books" stuff. My twins got into stories aged 3. It was a distinct change, they went from one day not giving a shit to wanting to hear stories all the time. Up till then you could have tried reading them a story but I'm not sure how you would have managed to get them to stay sitting with you or looking at the book when they were clearly not the slightest bit interested. Like you, we sang with/to them, which is also a lovely way to bond with your kids and teach them love of language and all that gubbins.

Oh god I feel your pain OP; this happened to me too.

Changes made:
MOST IMPORTANT OF ALL:
Visiting DC at 5, then 10, then 20, then 40, then 80 mins after put down. Pat them and just say “sleepybyes” then leave the room.

It makes you feel in control and the child feels secure, both of you start “knowing the score”. Still doesn’t take away how upsetting the crying is though

SECONDLY: persist with putting DC in cot at lunchtime, again with the 5/10/20 mins thing. We give up if our DD isn’t asleep by 40mins after put down.

THIRDLY: it might possibly be time for a big bed but I’d certainly advise moving away from grobags and onto covers (or not in this heat!). DD is tall and was out of grobags at 22mo.

Lunchtime naps are hit and miss in this house. We watch in the night garden at 6, then it’s wash face, teeth, and into bed by 6:45, cuddles and kisses then away.

Good luck. I completely get your CIO reasoning, forget the guilt trippers on this thread.

I forgot until DH reminded me - we did "the speech". If she didn't settle, we'd pick her up, hold her close and sort of whisper something like this into her ear:

"Bed time now, time to sleep. You've had a fun day and now it's time to have a lovely sleep with [list all the bears in bed]. When you wake up tomorrow, we will be here. Mummy and Daddy love you very much. Time to sleep"

It did work! Sometimes we would get a tired-sounding "yeah". Then put her back down like normal.

It sounds like you've got a lot of options to try now. My second child never settled on her own until about age 3 so one of us used to sit with her and read a book or browse the web. If DH was away I would just have to put her to bed at the same time as my older child (milk together, bath together, story together and then into bed). Obviously if your children are a lot older then that won't work for you but it saved us a lot of screaming.

Does he have a fan on him at night? Ds would sleep with one on him and sleep so much better. Wind down after bath would be lying together in front of the fan and listening to the gruffalo on cd.

Good luck for tonight. You have about 50 options to try.
Fingers crossed!