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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Help... whats happened???

95 replies

Pippa12 · 13/07/2018 19:16

My lovely 2yr old fireball of a little boy has dropped his daytime nap (not a problem... honest Wine) and putting up the biggest protest at bedtime. Previously he has had 6oz milk, straight into cot and self soothed himself to sleep...until last week. Now he cries at the sight of his grobag and cries for 15-30minutes before eventually settling. Other than lying on his floor while he falls asleep (which im not prepared to do!) nothing settles him. Ive resorted to crying it out, admittedly im a complete beginner but it does not seem to be helping. We've just had another 20minutes of hysteria before bed. Aibu to let him CIO and anyone any tips about where its all gone wrong!!!

OP posts:
AlphaBravo · 13/07/2018 20:20

2yr sleep regression Gin

Original poster
Pippa12 · 13/07/2018 20:20

Thanks so much badgerthebodger... your probably right, maybe a bath and "new" routine will help. Have also been thinking about a big boys bed. Also feeling releived others feel over tiredness is a thing!

Thanks for your constructive suggestions... im feeling a little more positive about the bedtime situation now! Mumsnet is (mostly!) a great support network!

OP posts:
Original poster
Pippa12 · 13/07/2018 20:24

Thank god... more supportive/constructive advice. Thanks a million. I feel much better after reading your suggestions and will implement them tomorrow!

OP posts:
redannie118 · 13/07/2018 20:25

This reply has been withdrawn

The OP has privacy concerns, and so we've agreed to take this down now.

Timeisslippingaway · 13/07/2018 20:26

I think someone may have already said. Try no growbag, maybe he's too hot.

You shpuld prob thank your lucky stars it only lasts for 10 mins. Not sure why you are not prepared to sit with him for that short amount of time until he falls asleep, it's only 10 mins.

missymayhemsmum · 13/07/2018 20:26

He's missing his nap so he is overtired and overwound at bedtiime and going way past reasonable to the point where the only way he can settle is to scream himself to sleep. Bring his bedtime routine forward a bit. Supper, bath, cuddle, lullaby, bottle, bed. Try lavender oil on his bedclothes too. It's like liquid cosh for overtired kids.
Dump him in bed for 20 minutes to cry and settle and go to sort the others out.
Or time a car journey for mid afternoon to reinstate the nap.

Birdofathousandvoices · 13/07/2018 20:27

It might just take a bit of trial and error for a while. They’re fickle wee creatures but it’s a change to routine for him too. We went through a wee phase with dropping naps and funny bed times getting ‘big boy/girl’ covers made her all excited for her new routine. You’ll find something that works I’m sure. Good luck!

beargrass · 13/07/2018 20:28

Also on no-nap days, we do bring the bath time forward a bit. Otherwise it's just too much for her

witherwings · 13/07/2018 20:28

There was a thread about exactly this a while ago. The child was the same age and had dropped a nap and was clingy at bedtime.
Mine did the same and is just a phase. I did sit next to the cot until they fell asleep, I gradually a moved nearer to the door over a few nights. I remember sitting outside the bedroom door reading my book for quite a few nights in a row. They feel more secure and then the phase will pass.

Givemeabreak01 · 13/07/2018 20:30

I think people are being unreasonably harsh on you op.... I get not wanting to sit with him we used to and it would sometimes be over an hour.... we ended up doing controlled crying so go in sooth every couple of minutes and leave again.... it took 2 days and transformed our lives.... as much as it’s not forever they do need to go down alone at some point.... we’re fluid with ours we know if he doesn’t go down straight away there’s something wrong and we will sit with him but that’s generally a one off and it’s now hard to prise him out of bed in a morning and he’s only 2.5! Try controlled crying but stick with it for a week.... we have a scout he puts on and takes his milk to bed and feeds himself as part of his routine.... good luck x

Madonnasmum · 13/07/2018 20:31

My first thought was the grow bag. Even super light will be warm in this weather. Is he wearing pjs too?

MakeItRain · 13/07/2018 20:33

I bet it's linked to the grobag as others have said. My dd used to cry in the same way as a baby. Now she's almost a teen, she's HATES being hot at night and I suspect she probably always did!

SomethingNastyInTheBallPool · 13/07/2018 20:33

When my DD’s overtired, crying it out is the only solution - it’s heart-wrenching, but going back in only revs her up again, and then when you leave the room, the crying starts again, with renewed gusto. It’s honestly kinder to let her cry for 10 minutes than to drag the whole thing out with her getting tireder and tireder.
This doesn’t happen very often, though. When she went through a prolonged stage of bedtime misery, we changed the routine a bit and introduced some nice, calming stories, which definitely helped. Good luck, OP!

poppstar35 · 13/07/2018 20:33

My son did similar around the same age & we switched up his routine a little until we found something that worked. I think stopped having his milk as we felt it was starting to interfer with him dropping off rather than helping at that point.

We started changing one thing at a time until we hit something that did work. Good luck

StillNoClue · 13/07/2018 20:34

Mines also not great with bed time stories. He loves to point stuff out but this only excites him Grin.

If he cries at the sight of his grow bag, maybe use a thin blanket? Ds got to the stage he hated his, and we moved him to a duvet and pillow. He loves it.

Original poster
Pippa12 · 13/07/2018 20:35

I wish it was 10 minutes. If i stay in his room its been 30/40 minutes as it seems he's waiting for me to go so stays awake. By this time my other children are crying because they want their stories and bedtime. They are used to a routine also, so as much as id love to get on his floor for hours at a time it is not condusive to a healthy bedtime for my others. There is genuinely "nothing wrong" with me, and it isnt that "im not prepared to give him a small amount of my time". I just needed some ideas how to bring some order to this "new" bedtime routine that didn't neglect my others. Im not prepared to sit here and have a slanging match with ladies who go out to make other mums feel inadequate. I find it a strange trait and its really not something im intrested with. I absoloutly know I am a great mum, and i hope all the other mums that are judged in such a way

OP posts:
Giraffesandllamas · 13/07/2018 20:36

Have you tried making up stories with them as the main character and all ends well because of them?
Also try different books my children hated some books and became fixed to a couple of stories they liked again and again.

Original poster
Pippa12 · 13/07/2018 20:36

*are confident of the same.

OP posts:
Original poster
Pippa12 · 13/07/2018 20:39

I am definitely feeling a blanket and a pillow coming on. I'll get rid of the blasted gro bag tomorrow as he is a hot boy! Thanks so much for your kindness and taking the time to reply... you have genuinely helped!

OP posts:
OoohSmooch · 13/07/2018 20:39

Apologies if anyone has suggested this but haven't read all the replies....where are you based? If you're in the south of England he may be too hot in a grobag....even a summer one. My little one cannot sleep when she's too hot and has been either in just a nappy or a vest for weeks. If it's hot out then th grow bag is a no no and that may be his issue.

coffeekittens · 13/07/2018 20:41

Could possibly be the grow bag, maybe he finds it too warm and restrictive? Also I’ve got years and years of childcare experience (nursery) and at 2 a lot of them still do need a nap in the day or their bed time becomes similar to what you’re describing, I’m not saying you haven’t but have you tried him with afternoon naps still (so dedicated quiet time, similar to bed time routine not falling asleep on the go), the amount of two year olds I’ve sat and rocked to sleep after lunch is unreal 😂.

Projector and soothing music is also a great idea.

Ps ignore the perfect mum parade, this will pass Wine Cake Wine

Original poster
Pippa12 · 13/07/2018 20:42

Im in the north. I did initially try nappy and vest but thought it maybe the security of the gro bag he missed so i bought a super light hardly even there thing! However, it has been hot and think you maybe right. I'll try without tomorrow. Thanks for your suggestion!

OP posts:
Giraffesandllamas · 13/07/2018 20:43

I used to have very fine cotton grobags for when it was hot, bare skin gets chilly in the night.

Original poster
Pippa12 · 13/07/2018 20:44

Thanks coffeekittens, i think introducing 'quiet time' is a good idea. I probably need to create a slot for this as we tend to have busy afternoons. Thanks again!

OP posts:
bluebeck · 13/07/2018 20:48

Agree with PP

Ditch the growbag

Big Boys Bed

My DS listened to Disneys Lion King CD every night for about three years Grin but it got him off to sleep perfectly.