To have 'told him off'

[rollingonariver]

I don't think I'm being unreasonable but I'll leave that up to mumsnet!
We were out this afternoon seeing some of DP's friends. We got to talking about how Piers Morgan is a bit of an arse etc and conversation goes like this:
DF: what do you expect from a guy named piers
Me: what do you mean?
DF: well it's a fucking douchey middle class name isn't it?!
I set him straight, calmly I didn't shout or anything, and said that someone's name doesn't really mean anything and that I'm sure there's lots of people who are called Piers who are lovely etc. I also said that he had mentioned in the past that our DD had a 'posh' name.
Anyway, conversation carried on and all was fine but when we got home his DW texted me and said i was patronising and she wouldn't be seeing us again if I was to tell her husband off again? I feel like I was very calm and that I have a right to say if something makes me uncomfortable, that's what a conversation is imo. Should I just apologise and blame it on the heat?

@haribosmarties - you are my new hero!

OP - if one of DH's friends made a dickish comment like that and/or swore in from of my child, I'd also say something. I'd even mansplain if they were being obnoxious on purpose. You know what, DH would say to his mate "well your comment was off and Dragon called it, get over yourself" if I ever stray over into disrespectful- he'd tell me later in a adult conversation between the two of us. Both of these scenarios have occurred. And no women have text me about it.

The fact that his DW and DM have sent texts about this says a lot about the kind of man he is. Talk to DP - and ignore the crazy fuckers. It's totally batshit.

I'd say carry on and call out dickish comments, we should do that. What I find effective is to turn what they say into a question that upon answering they either get it or show to everyone there they are being a dick.
E.G. so can I understand this correctly - you are saying every one who is named Piers (considering most people don't choose their name) are middle class douchebags just by having that name?

"I would not tolerate an adult male or female telling me off."

It seems to be OP's expression "telling off" that people are objecting to.
This man made a stupid remark and swore in front of OP's child. She was quite right to call him out on it. But it seems he is used to women deferring to his opinions - that's the way it ought to be - he is, after all a Man.
He also has no compunction about making snidey comments on the name of OP's child. Second time he did that I'd have "told him off".

The irony of the wife telling you off for telling her husband off !

I'd send twentysmackeroo 's message seeking clarification on what caused the offence.

The toe curling embarrassment of a grown man having his wife and mother scolding someone by text for some kind of imaginary ‘being mean to me, mummy’ ness. The interpersonal dynamics of that family are too gruesome to contemplate.

Ghastly bunch, move on and ignore them.

Celia is a lovely name, btw.

Good god why on should you apologies?

It’s not the 1950’s. Women are allowed an opinion and are also allowed, shock, horror, to voice them.

He sounds like a prick. So does his wife and mum. Poor ickle man. Did a woman disagree with him and hurt his feelings. Grow the fuck up.

Out of interst op, what does your dh and mil think?

He was having a big of a joke at some famous that's expense and instead of going along with it for the sake of friendship/a bit of a harmless giggle, you decided to take it upon yourself to 'calmly correct him'?! Explaining (quite painfully, I imagine) the errors of his ways and correcting his language. When he was just having a bit of a light-hearted conversation.

Sorry OP but that is awkward and cringey as fuck. I wouldn't want you as a friend either, you sound like a fun sponge.

It's fine if you want to be the sort of person who 'calls people out' on every little bit of political correctness, but don't expect it to make you popular.

FFS autocorrect!!!

I also like twentsmackeroos suggestion

what does your husband think about this?

It’s his dickhead friend?

Also - utterly insane that MIL is now involved.

That’s a lovely name. Cecelia was on my list too!

@Shitonthebloodything I really don't usually call him out, he says vile things all the time and I laugh it off. This time I didn't feel I should have to as I felt he was dissing my DD as well as us for choosing a 'middle class name'.
DH and MIL know them and know me, I really don't give around starting arguments so they're on my side. MIL hates any kind of drama and doesn't want to lose a good friend so she's upset about it all, she doesn't blame me though.